The Let's Play Archive

Barkley's Shut Up And Jam: Gaiden

by N.N. Ashe

Part 3: Yeah, yeah express

Charles leaves his house looking for a pick me up

We find a lone homeless man and box him into a corner.

Tuanting the homeless just doesn't have the effect it used to. Everything seems more empty, more bleak. Maybe we should talk to some more people, like actually talk, not taunt.

This parking lot? They say it used to be a basketball court. That must have been a sight. People playing b-ball in public. Pretty wild, huh?
You've got no idea. Before the Great B-ball Purge this place would be packed. Fans on the sidelines, ballers playing pick-up games till dusk. Hell, sometimes they'd have games until the lights shut off, even after. It was a different time, a diff...
Whoa pal, I'm going to stop you right there. I ain't no sportlover, and I don't like where this conversation's headed. There's cops around and you don't know who's listening. Beat it before you say something we're both gonna regret.

Charles Presses onward, maybe he'll find someone to talk this time.

You ever hear about the Chaos Dunk? The say it's as powerful as a 150 megaton nuclear blast and the only man capable of performing it was Charles Barkley. It's the reason basketball was banned.
Yeah... Yeah, I've heard about it...
They say we're supposed to be worried about the Ultimate Hellbane but I think Charles Barkley is the real menace. I never understood why they didn't finish him off in the Great B-ball Purge.
Probably so he could live the rest of his life in guilt and shame...

We take a short detour to an weapon and armor merchant and get Charles up to speed.

This is the menu screen, money is top right symbol. Charles is our heavy hitter, he has high attack and high defense. This early in the game we want his items to maximize his speed, becuase he is inaccurate. As the game progresses the focus will shift more towards full attack.

It's time to get back to our mission: get medicine.

We enter Chin's store

Yeah, yeah, I heard about that.
Yeah, he one tough customer I hear. Use zaubers. Kinda make you wonder how B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S got their hands on such powerful weapons.
Yeah. Didn't he just kill those two guys at the mall?
Yeah, yeah, they say he out for more tonight. That why I always carry my Square-Enix-Goya gun, can't be safe around here no more. Top of the line too. So why you here so late Barkuri? What you want?

Barkley's eyes shift

I'm not feeling so well. I need some medicine.
Aww, I all out of medicine. Barkuri, but I give you this ecto cooler. Make you feel better, huh?
Yeah, thanks alot Chin.
Yeah, yeah no problem. Hey, and Barkuri
Don't let that Ultimate Hellbane get you.

Chin hands over a worn plastic sack filled with goodies: 5 ectocooler(s), 3 steriod(s), and 2 tobacco(s)!

Charles still doesn't feel right, however. He begins to walk around some more,
eventually he finds himself in the only church left standing.

Music The Church

The other side's warmer.
(Akward Silence) What's that supposed to mean?
I mean the heating ducts are on the other side of the room. Nowadays, the only reason people come in here is to get away from the cold, it seems. Definitely not for the teachings of Clistpaeth, at any rate. Sometimes, I feel like the last believer on Earth. If only they'd let him into their hearts... What do you think, son?
About what? Clispaeth? I couldn't care less. This rotten city is hell enough to deal with. I don't got time to worry about another one waiting for me down the road. I got a son to take care of. I look out for him. I don't have time to give a damn about your God.
That's... that's blasphemy! Clispaeth is a loving God, I assure you, but I still think it unwise to tempt his wrath.
Then so be it. If Clispaeth exists, he's already taken enough from me. I'd like to try to see him take more.
It's never to late to let Clispaeth's light into your heart.
Try it on the bums lady. Your God's got nothing for me.

He approaches the altar, idly staring at the statue before him. His mind elsewhere.

Priest: Charles, I uh, I haven't seen you in here since the...
Yeah Larry, that was a long time ago.
I don't know what to tell you, Charles. I'm sorry. I know it wasn't your fault.
I don't need your god damned pity, Larry, acting like you give a damn just 'cuz you're a priest now. You don't know shit about what happened and you got no business acting all buddy buddy just 'cuz we used to be friends. Shit's changed, Bird. This ain't the Golden Age of B-ball anymore. You more than anyone should know this.
You think I sold out, Barkley. You think I sold out becuase I'm not absolutely miserable like you.
You got no place to say that shit, Bird. You think it's fucking easy to raise a kid on my own? You think it's easy to be alone now when I need Maureen more than ever, Bird?
Charles, keep your voice down, this is a house of God!
You know damn well it was my fault, Larry. You know all this shit is my fault and you got no place to say otherwise. God damnit man.
Why'd you come here Charles? You didn't come here for this.
I... I don't know Larry. I just kind of wandered in here. Maybe I was thinking about her, I don't know.
She was a woman of Clispaeth, Charles.
Clistpaeth? God? You think I can believe in that shit now? After all that's happened, you think I can just pray to Clispaeth and everything will be okay? Shit's changed too much..... I'm uh... I'm gonna go now.
Don't do anything rash.
Yeah, Larry. Yeah

We exit the church to head back home.

And we find a child, shivering, up against the wall.

Kid, what are you doing here at night? You should be at home.
Kid, can you hear me? You should be at home.
I'm uh, I'm sorry kid.

And this is our first vote should we give the kid a neo shekel or not. yes or no, what would you do? What would Barkley do? Voting will end about 24-36 hours from now.

Oh, the main contest may might actually have something to do with those save points, so stay tuned for that.

VVVV- Thank you TuxedoTed