The Let's Play Archive

Barkley's Shut Up And Jam: Gaiden

by N.N. Ashe

Part 8: Lets talk about balls

No video, I had way too many problems I couldn't solve. If someone wants to show off the combat in a video I would think very highly of you. I will not experiment will video again, so you may expect 2 to 4 updates a week until the final boss.

Music - Spirit

Wh-what is this place?
sacred baller tomb... Hold on, Barkley, he's coming through!
Huh!? Hellbane! Who's he?!

A divine, translucent entity slowly descends from the heavens

This is the tomb of my great grandfather... Lebron James.
Ultimate Hellbane! That means you're...

The Ultimate Hellbane throws off his shroud in a dramatic fashion, allowing it to take flight for a brief moment, before falling to the ground.

It's motherfucking Balthios.

Wh-why didn't you tell me Balthios? If I had known...
I didn't think you could handle it Barkley. People say I'm B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S, that I'm a terrorist and a murderer. I couldn't let my best friend think that of me... But that's not why I brought you here. I want you to meet... My great grandfather.

Lebron!What... What happened? I haven't seen you since the purge.
That... seems like so long ago, Charles. I don't have much time left. I can feel the doors o the B-Ball Dimension slowly closing so I must speak quickly. Listen carefully Barkley, I will only be able to tell you this once.
Okay Lebron.
Dark forces are afoot, Charles. The terrorist organization B.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. has some sort of power... Something I... can't quite explain. I am not sure of the nature of this power but I am certain it is profoundly powerful... more powerful than anything this world has ever experienced. You recall the... Space Jam, don't you, Barkley?
The Space Jam? What's that got to do with it?
I cannot be certain, Charles, but I believe that B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. has obtained the Ultimate B-Ball, the ball you and the other four ballers were trapped in, and are using it to... I'm not sure, Barkley. I cannot understand the purposes of a madman, but I can only see evil coming of it.
But... the Ultimate B-Ball lost its powers when Jordan won the Space Jam.
That is what I believed as well. It seems, though that some of your power was trapped inside the ball and grew over time; grew to the point that even the Chaos Dunk is usable. Barkley... If there are madmen out there with the ability to use the Chaos Dunk, think of all the people at risk. Think of all the people that have already died becuase of them. Manhattan is destroyed!
No... I vowed long ago that nobody would even suffer another Chaos Dunk. Something has to be done... anything. But Lebron, what can we do?

Tiny cherubian NBA announcers begin playfully tugging at the arms and legs of Lebron James, pulling him back into the ether.
Goodbye, Lebron...

Music - Epic Battle

And here is our first boss battle. I forgot to heal before hand, hopefully that won't be an issue. The accepted strategy here is to spam doubleteams, and use Balthois to give status effects with Water Zuaber, then switch between a healing role, and using Ice zuaber. That's one thing I really like about this game, bosses are not immune to status effects, unlike every final fantasy (non tactics) game ever, (vanish doom combo notwithstanding.)

We were able to get glaucoma, but not diabetes off. Diabetes drains 60-80 health a turn, so I was really hoping for that. It's kind of hard to see, he has the glaucoma though if you compare to the last one

Barkley makes a dent with his best move. There's actually a mirror image of Charles on the other side of the monster, it flickers so I don't think its possible to capture on film.

In one attack the BBall monster takes Balthios down, and injures Barkley a bit. This actually allows me to show off some of the leveling mechanics that are interesting, so I'll keep Balthios dead.

The BBall Monster has a jump attack that does incredible damage to both party members (170 guarded Barkley, 260~ Balthios.) An interesting note is, since he is off screen, he is no longer effected by status effects. Here we can see the glaucoma haze just hanging out, and had we inflicted diabetes, the diabetes damage would miss.


We... We did it... We managed to beat the B-Ball Monster...
For a minute there, I didn't think we'd make it.
Are you kidding Balthios? With the way you used those zaubers, it's no wonder they call you the Ultimate Hellbane.
Heh, I could be better... Hey what's this?

He peers into the pool in the middle of the room. A dark form appear, shrouded by the depth of the pool. It surges from the depths and is catapulted between the two by an unknown force. Before Balthios can even react, Barkley snatches it out of the air.

It... It looks like a basketball...
This... This looks like my great grandfather's basketball. It must be his final farewell to you. He treasured his b-ball more than anything, Charles. You'd better use it wisely.
I will, Balthios. I will.

He begins to spin the ball on one finger to get the excess water off the ball and asks Balthios
He said we should look for a cyberdwarf. What's that?
More like WHO's that, Barkley. He's an old friend of my great grandfather's and someone who could help us greatly. Come on, We'd better get moving, or Jordan will catch us.
Yeah, You're right.

Music - Sewers

Noted. Let's go.

First we snatch that treasure. It's an Ice Zauber, the next upgraded weapon for Balthios

I never thought I'd see such blatant trolling as I have in this forum. Step away from the computer, drop the ham sandwich and back the FRACK off, gaijin. I hate to use that word but you've made me that serious. As hard as it may be for
you to fathom, some of us here are actual fans of the Final Fantasy series (pre FFX) and Square's work in general. You can try to bash me for an avatar that I bought becuase I happen to be a dedicated fan of perhaps the most poignant, painstakingly woven tapestry of love, loss and vengeance ever to pen put from pen to paper, but you would fail, just like all you flamers do in real life. Who can say that the minds at Square Enix (note: appropriate portmanteau is SQUENIX, not the laughable SQUEENIX)were it not inspired by the works of William Shakespeare or Chuck Palahniuk? Cloud's bastard sword has more akin with the bastard sons of Macbeth than it does to any armament or basilard of the time. The Honey Bee Club in Midgar reminds me more of the Fight Clubs than any brothel. So please, use your brains, not your sarcasm, and step up to the intellectual plate, or leave this forum and take your "Haterade" with you.

We begin to move towards the strange figure slumped up against the wall.

What the hell is this? It looks like some kind of robot or something.
I can't tell if it's functioning properly or if it's just making noises.
Yeah, let's leave this hunk of scrap metal and keep going.

??? You said that I was a robot. I corrected you, I am a cyborg! My name is... Scanning memory chip for name... Error: cannot find name.
Hmmm... Well your jersey has the number 15 on it. That was Vince Carter's number.
You also resemble Vince, except for the metal and circuitry all over you body. But... He was lost in the purge...
??? Scanning memory banks for Vince Carter... Yes, my name is Vinceborg 2050. I was created in 2050 to... to... Encountered arror number X114JAM9, cannot remember purpose. I am Vinceborg 2050 and my mission is... nothing
My god! This IS Vince Carter! Vince! Vince! Do you remember me? It's me, Balthios James, the octoroon great grandson of Lebron James! Vince, tell me if you remember me!

On the day you were born, your grandfather slam dunked you and said you would go on to be a great man. You were a child when I balled for the Nets. Nets... Nets... That is correct! I used to be a baller! I played for the New Jersey Nets!
A-amazing! He is regaining his memory! Vinceborg, do you remeber me? I'm Charles Barkley
Charles... Barkley... Entry found. Once of the greatest slammers to have ever lived, although his james were a little lacking. He was also one of my... Best friends.
Vince, it's really you! I can't believe it! I thought you were lost in the purge!
Purge... The... Great B-Ball Purge... Yes, I remember now, I died in the Purge but... Yes, I was rebuilt by someone. Someone... rebuilt me.
Who rebuilt you? Who brought you back to life, vince? I... do not... remember.
I... I do not... remember.
Vinceborg, you have to come with us until you remember.
Yes... I willl come with you, Charles. I must remember...

Oh yes

Check out the XP to next level. It's negative 20, so he will automatically level up at the start of the next battle. So don't worry if your guys die in combat, they still get the experience points.

QA credits go to 100 HOGS AGREE