The Let's Play Archive

Barkley's Shut Up And Jam: Gaiden

by N.N. Ashe

Part 18: FATE

Music- Spalding Building (Again, I highly recommend playing this through the update)

Later: Back at the entrance

Barkley and company arrive at the security consoles with the red security card in hand. He approaches the console and searches for a keycard sized slot. The
computer reacts to his fumbling.

Hurry up dad put it in!
Here goes…

The floor shakes as if the earth itself acknowledges Charle's actions

Current lift status: active.
So does that mean the elevator's working now?
I don't think so, Mr. James. We still have to find the blue key.
Damn. Alright, we'd better go find it.

Back in the hallway were the party met the cleaning robot, Barkley steers his compatriots towards the right, each of them passing by the elevator door. Since the Red Keycard has been inserted, the Red Door will open!

More offices, and more investigation.

Damn, Another broken computer.

H-How'd you do that, Hoopz?
Easy, dad! Just hookin' up vidcons!
I'm… I'm proud of you, son. Now
let's see what it says. Hmm…

Progress Report : 01/08/2040
Davis's haste has blinded him to the very real dangers presented by manufacted slamicite. The negative b-ball energies emitted by the substance are enormous. Perhaps when we scientists have better studied manufacted slamicite can we put it to a more practical and safe use. Furthermore, I question the ethical use of this ball that, if used in its full potential, can change the entire balance of the game.

This ball… it could have changed everything.
That's an understatement, Balthios. It is very clear through the progress reports we have been reading that this ball's power rivaled that of the Ultimate B-ball. This ball could have changed the world.
We won't find it just standing here. Come on. Let's go.

Well Hoopz, we're trying to find the blue key, but more importantly we're trying to get the scoop. We want to know as much as we can about Spalding, the prototype, B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S., and anything else we can manage to learn.
The scoop, huh? I'll remember that…

Something glints inside the trashcan, beckoning Barkley forward.
Wait, look. Something's in here. It looks like a zauber!

Got 1 time Zauber(s)!

There is an old octoroon saying, Barkley. "One man's trash is another man's treasure/"
Words to live by, Balthios. Words to live by.

Let's do some equipping

Dwarfbane, is a good upgrade from the DwarfWarhammer the Cyberdwarf had.

The Time Zauber is terrible compared to the snail zauber. Even though he hurt us so, Vince gave us a the most precious of treasures.

Here's a rundown of the party, in case you're wondering how they are doing.

Anyway, back to sleuthing.

[i/] these offices are noticeably bigger and more advanced than the other wing, in the next room for example are two large computer cubes. When Barkley inquires about them, Hoopz responds.

was sports stats. Who's MVP, who's got the most points scored, who has the most rebounds. Stuff like that. They've got info on individual ballers too. Let's see, Charles Barkley…

Hoopz, no…
Here we go. Let's see what it says…
Name: Charles Barkley
Date of Birth: 2/20/1963
Blood Type: B
Muscles 10/10
Gumption: Unlimited
Danger: 9/10
Weapon: Deadly B-balls
Special Moves: Chaos Dunk - Charles Barkley is the only human alive capable of performing the legendary and enigmatic Chaos Dunk, a move shrouded in mystery. Although little is known about the move, it has been gather by Spalding Intelligence that the dunk is devastatingly powerful.

Physically Disturbed, Barkley lashes out

That's enough, Hoopz!

Everyone stares at Barkley as he realizes what he's done. Slowly he speaks

I… I'm sorry. It's just that-
Charles, it's okay. Come on, we'd better get moving.

If we check the machine again…
Can I check out more sports stats on this, dad?
Now is not the time, Hoopz. Perhaps if we ever find ourselves in a more peaceful time… maybe then you can look up sports stats.

As the group approaches the final room, a soft whistling of Sweet Geoergia Brown can be faintly heard. With B-ball in hand, Barkley turns the corner to face whoever is waiting for him. The lights dim, and Leonard appears behind the party, idling walking around. The whistling has stopped.

Oh, it's you guys again. Thought I'd catch you here. Taking a tour of the Spalding building, huh? Just don't make a racket. Look, I shouldn't be telling you this, but some of the scientists are going to try out the latest model of their prototype later today so they're a little edgy. You don't want to get in their way.

Leonard, what the hell are you talking about? Nobody's here. The Spalding building's been abandoned since the Purge.

Purge? What are you talking about? I've worked here for 16 years…. Hey, it's getting late. You don't want to keep the Master waiting. You know how he gets. I'll catch you guys later!

Again the lights dim and he's gone.

Something is seriously wrong here. It's like he doesn't even know about the Purge.
He could have some post-traumatic stress disorder or something and he is reliving this day over and over again.
He's probably fucking bonkers. A lunatic or something. Whatever. We gotta get going.

In the next room Barkley instinctively motions Hoopz to check out the computer.

It's okay, son. You did your best and that's what counts.

In the Cabinet next to the computer, Balthios has already pulled out some files, and gathers the party to read.
Progress Report: 01/21/2040
The near-Jordan levels of b-ball that the test subject is exhibiting are fascinating and horryfing on a philosophical standpoint. We have in our hands a tool that could bring the game to new heights and harken a new golden era. Conversely, it has the potential to destroy society as we know it. Indeed, the parallels between this and the Ultimate B-ball are frightening.

So wait, how come they were making it if they didn't want to?
I don't think it's that Dr. Cosby didn't want to create this b-ball, Hoopz. He was pondering the philosophical and ethical possibilities presented by it.
Philosophy, huh? That's never really been my game.

A warped smile wraps around the Cyberdwarf's leathery face

I see within you the potential to become one of the Post-Cyberpocalypse's greatest philosophers, Hoopz Barkley.
Hmm, I'll have to think about that…

Screen on motherfucker.

Archival footage of the test subject plays.

My god, that must be the prototype… look at his pivots, his slides. They're… They're-
…perfect. I've only seen these kinds of jams one other time in my life.
The Space Jam…
Yes. I am positive that if this is indeed the prototype, it is the only tool capable of countering whatever B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. has planned. We're wasting time. We need to fine this ball before its too late.

the party ventures forth into a new section of the wing. The left has a thick plate glass window for viewing a pure white basketball court, and a big ass screen.

I… I am too, son. Just stay close. We're gonna be out of here as quick as we can.

It is amazing, isn't it Cosby?

Yes, Davis. It is indeed amazing but… but I can't help but feel that something
about it is wrong.

Worried again? How many times do I have to tell you, Cosby? Nothing will go wro-

Holy shit! What the hell was that!?

Clistpaeth Christ! The test subject.. he just performed a Chaos Dunk!

Dear lord… What have we done, Cosby? What have we done?! Somebody call a
doctor! Emergency, code red, call a doctor!

It's… it's too late for that… He's gone, Davis.

I do to, Barkley. Something terrible.

Barkley searches the room. After searching under the last computer desk he rises and speaks

It's probably just superstition, we should move on.

to the next computer!

This terminal is blinking. Can you do anything with it Hoopz?
Let me punch in some codes…

Hmmm, by the looks of it, yes.
These schematics are distressing to say the least. They used a tightly packed slamicite core with only an inch of insulation… How could they not see the danger? One bad dribble could set of an immense shockwave killing those within 100 meters of the BBall. It's an accident waiting to happen.
Spalding lost their marbles… They lost their gatdam marbles.
I can't figure out any more codes to punch in, dad.

More fighting awaits us! And more Trashcans!

Give me a minute, there's something in here… Holy shit, Balthios. Look at this thing. It's a gun!

Got 1 F.I.N.A.L G.U.N.(s)!

Let me see that… it says "F.I.N.A.L G.U.N." on it. It looks pretty dangerous.
Yeah, it does. Weren't there people back at Proto Neo New York who were looking for this?
Yeah, I think so. Maybe we should take it back to them and get a reward.
Or maybe we should keep it. This thing looks really powerful. I think Hoopz can use it.
It's your call. I don't really care.

Yeah, it's the best gun by far. Which brings us to a dilemma. We've been sent on a quest by two different parties to secure and deliver this firearm.

as Hoopz holster his new Gun's, he slides up to the computer and begins his dark works.

This computer has its data parameters encrypted with megahertz. Let me disable it real fast… We're in! There is another report here.
I knew you could do it, son. What does it say?

Progress Report : 02/18/2040
Despite the small-scale Chaos Dunk, the Master says that we must continue working on the prototype. Measures must be taken to make this b-ball safer, weaker. We cannot have another incident like this on our hands. I am considering leaving Spalding forever, cleaning my hands of this. If I had known that I would be playing God when I began working for Spalding, I would have never accepted the job.

D-dear lord. A Chaos Dunk….
The test subject, he must have… but that's impossible, you are the only man capable of the-
There is no question in my mind that this ball is entirely capable of countering the Ultimate B-ball now. The question is… are we?
… I am.
Good. Then let's get going. Mulling over this b-ball's power will get us nowhere.

One last report is protrudes out of the filing cabinet. It's almost like someone has been here.

Progress Report 02/02/2040
Despite the minor setbacks we've encountered, I am still determined to finish this b-ball. We will, unfortunately, have to reduce the power, which I am still reluctant about, but I believe ultimately this ball will change how the game is played. Furthermore, I believe that the mini Chaos Dunk was caused more by the lack fo manufacted slamicite, rather than too much of it. I will be increasing the amount of slamicite by 20% in the upcoming tests.

Davis… Davis cannot see past his own foolish desires to create the greatest ball in the world.
I have been thinking about this Dr. Davis character.
It is very clear to me that Davis wants to create this ball because of his own shortcomings. He very obviously aspired to be a baller but didn't make the cut; this ball is the manifestation of his own desire to be a b-ball player. It legitimizes his failures at the sport.
He wanted to be one of the greats, but since he couldn't, he'd do the next best thing. I almost feel kind of bad for him.

The bluekey card! Let's just pick it up.

Excellent, we can finally operate the lift. Let's head back immediately and take the elevator to the highest floor.
What's that sound?

Silence fills the air

I can hear someone talking…

You are wrong, Cosby! The slamicite will act as a safeguard, protecting the baller from accidents like the Chaos Dunk incident. It is foolproof, even moreso than jamicite. There is no way anything can go wrong at this point. The science backs me!

DAMNIT! I'm leaving, Davis. I am not coming back. When millions of people die,
it will be your fault and not mine. Goodbye forever.

Leonard hurries over to get the doctor's ball.

Leonard, don't touch that!

Leonard smiles to himself for being so helpful and observant. He slowly bends down to pick up the ball.


Leonard… he's a ghost.
What do you mean, Hoopz? He's a ghost? He looked perfectly real to me.
I don't know dad, I just… know it. I just know he's a ghost. Something happened to him. Something really bad happened to him right here. I don't know what it was and I don't know how… but I just know it.
It makes sense. If he died on the day they tested the prototype, then he might be reliving the last day of his life over and over again without even realizing it. I've read about this before. His soul has carried on to the Ghost Dimension but his ghost essence is still trapped here in the Spalding building… but this is incredibly advance ghostology, Hoopz. How did you know this?
I… don't know, Mr. CyberDwarf.
I see, but should we come across a trial that requires a keen understanding of ghosts, I shall ask for your insight. Is this okay, Hoopz?
Y-yes, I think so.
There's more to the story we've yet to find out. Let's see where the blue card leads us.

The party hurries to the lift key access and Charles inserts the card. Once again the ground shakes knowingly.

Damn, why the hell did they make the elevator activation system do that shit? I can't even think of one reason why the whole fucking building should shake when you put a key in.
It's probably for security measures. It doesn't matter, the elevator's working now. Let's go!
I hope they didn't have to do this key shit everytime they wanted to use the elevator.

the doors open, and soon the party is on the top floor. Leonard is here too it seems.

Hey guys, looks like you finally made it to the top floor. The Master's waiting for you in the room over there.

Leonard… there's something you need to know.
Huh, what? What are you talking about? Am I getting fired or something?
Sort of… This is going to be a really hard pill to swallow so just sit tight with me, okay?
What the hell is going on here? What are you talking about?

Barkley turns to the side and his eyes stare at the ground. He hesitates, and Balthios speaks up

Leonard , you're a ghost. You died 12 years ago in an accident that occurred when they were testing the prototype b-ball. We don't know what happened or how, but somehow you were killed. You've been living the last day of your life for the past 12 years, Leonard.
Wh-what? Is this a fucking joke or something? Are you fucking kidding me?
No Leonard, I am sorry, it is true. You are a ghost. The Spalding building has been empty since the Purge, which happened shortly after you were killed. You've been wandering these halls in limbo since, not realizing any of this.
N-no. I don't believe you, I don't believe any of this!
When was the last time you were home, Leonard?
Last night! What the hell do you think?
No, Leonard. Think hard, when was the last time you really went home. Home, Leonard.

Home… I… I went outside a long time ago and it was so different from how it used to be. I… couldn't find my way home so I came back here.
You've been living here, Leonard, cleaning these hallways without realizing what you are.
12 Years ago you died, Leonard. You have to accept it or you will be in ghost jeopardy for eternity.

I… I know…. I'm going home.

I want to thank you for making me realize. I'm going home now.
He's finally gone to the Ghost Dimension

On the ground, in a small piles of rags where Leonard once stood, something green glints in the light.

Wh-what's this?

Do you think he left it for us?
I believe he did, Balthios. I believe it was his parting gift to us for helping him on his way to the Ghost Dimension.
I believe ghosts are like dogs and they just sort of do things arbitrarily.

… Anyway, the party presses on

Green Door entered.

Music - Spirit

The man stand silently as the part enters.

Wh-what? How are you?
Just humor me, tell me what a b-ball is.
It's … it's an orange ball with black lines on it. It bounces well but it's easy to hold and throw, perfect for slams and shots.
That was good, Charles. Tell me more about the lines on a b-ball. The black lines.
What about the lines? They're black. They divide the ball into little segments and they improve grip.
Ahhh, the segments. Did you know those lines are the reason I got in this business?
What do you mean? What are you talking about…
It's true. You see, those lines, they mean different things to you than they do to me. You mentioned that the lines divide the ball into segments. I believe you are wrong, Charles Barkley. I believe that the lines are in fact a symbol of unity, that they are the only thing holding the ball together. Have you ever considered that even though the lines all go in different directions, they all have the exact same point of origin and end? Have you ever considered that without those lines, you'd be staring at a bunch of strips of leather and rubber and not a basketball? They bring the ball together. That is why I made basketballs, Charles Barkley. To bring people together, to show them that the lines on a b-ball do not divide it, but hold it together. I suppose I failed.
Scott H. Creelman…
Yes, that was my name before the Purge, back when I was CEO of a company called Spalding, back when we had a dream… Heh, the only dreams I have now are nightmares.

I know. I've been waiting for you.
Can I have it?
I've been waiting for you to ask me that, Charles Barkley! I've been waiting 12 years for this! Come Charles Barkley, face my danger!
No, Creelman. I won't fight you. You're not my enemy.

So be it, Creelman. We'll see what ~FATE~ has in store!

Music - Boss Battle

Scott is a typical brute enemy, just beefed up to be a boss. High hp, high attack to one player and can take a knee to regain health. Just try to focus fire on him when he's below 30% and there won't be problems.

No problems.

I… I knew you were worthy, Charles… I knew you were the one to weild the Hell B-ball.

I'm sorry, Creelman. I didn't want this to happen.
S-sorry? You can never be sorry, Barkley. Never. Take the prototype and recharge it. Only then you can you finally defeat B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.
Recharge it?
Yes. The… the jamicite…. It needs the… jam…i…cite.

He's passed on, Barkley. He was waiting for this a long time, I think.
So what do we do know? We've got the prototype?
We're going to need to recharge it, like Creelman said. That'll proably mean we have to go to Cuchul-

A green syringe flies through the air and stabs into Hoopz!


Son of a Bitch.