Part 762: Let's Read: Main Event - Part 4
Let’s Read: Main Event (part 4)Chapter 4
Tara, Northwind
25 April 3054
Hey guys, guess what? Two whole days have passed. McCloud is in the hospital because she got knifed, and the knife apparently wasn’t sharp since her wound can’t be stitched. Now, Battletech does have such things as artificial skin-grafts and etc; so I’m just chalking this one up as ‘medicine in Battletech is all over the place’ and/or that the medicine is fine, but actual doctors are Lostech.
After one day, Rachel McCloud has seen enough of Rose and tells him to go bother someone else for a while. Now, I also feel the need to point out that Jeremiah Rose has been gone from Northwind for 20 years, and would’ve been at least 18 when he left home. Conservatively, this makes him 38 (he’s probably closer to 42-45); yet he still acts like he’s 18. This is another reason I hate him.
In any case, we learn that Rose has been a colossal douchebag around the hospital too, constantly criticizing the overworked nursing staff because HIS GIRLFRIEND got into a bar fight. Everyone is happy to see him go away.
Rose then decides it’d be a good idea to go visit the home he grew up in, because there’s no way that will end poorly what with his father hating him and everything. Rose then remembers his long-dead mother, but can’t remember her face or voice—just her ‘Mech, a Thunderbolt. Goddamn.
He then comments on how great a warrior she was.
Main Event posted:
Like many others, Marie Rose had died fighting in the ill-fated War of 3039. Yes, she’d been a warrior, but Rose had never reconciled himself to the waste that was her death. Any child mourned the loss of a parent, of course, but his loss went even deeper than that.
This is Jeremiah Rose in a fucking nutshell, folks. “Oh, I’m sure other people suffer, but nobody suffers as much as I!”
Fuck you, Jeremiah Rose. You are not a special snowflake. You are a fucking nobody. In any other book, you’d be an ancillary character at best who exists to be tough for a chapter or two and then Worf into an enemy and die to prove how tough they are.
Anyway, we learn that Jeremiah is strongly anti-Davion and his father is strongly pro-Davion. Given that the entire Highlanders regiment is going to abandon the Federated Commonwealth and declare Northwind independent in about 4-5 years, I’d say Jeremiah is ahead of the game. It’s just a pity he’s such a useless character.
Jeremiah then wonders what happened to his mother’s Thunderbolt, which spoils the impression of a pained and grieving son. He doesn’t give a shit about the mother he barely remembers, he just wants her battlemech.
A girl then tells him to stop staring at her house and go fuck himself. It takes him over a paragraph to puzzle out that it’s his sister, Rianna.
Main Event posted:
“Rianna?” Rose began walking forward, increasing his pace as he neared the front porch. The girl’s annoyance changed to alarm as Rose picked up speed. Instead of running, however, she dropped into a defensive crouch. Realizing the effect he was having, Rose drew up just short of the porch steps.
THEN he introduces himself as her brother Jeremiah, narrowly avoiding getting his ass kicked by his 18 year old sister. She then animu glom-tackle-hug-pounces him. It’s creepy, and someone felt it was a scene deserving of artwork.
“Nice tits, sis!”
And no, I don’t know how the city Jeremiah and Rianna are in suddenly turned into a beach; or where Jeremiah’s fabulous cape came from. We then learn that Jeremiah hasn’t seen Rianna in 15 years, so either he’s getting younger and going back in time or the author couldn’t remember that it’s been 20. Rianna then invites Jeremiah insi—really, book?
Main Event posted:
[Rianna] hugged him again. “Let’s go inside where we can talk. The neighbors have already seen enough to last them.”
Their father is out (and we won’t see him again, so the closest thing to an interesting character this book has had, not counting ten seconds of Cat Stirling, won’t be joining us again). They then laugh about Rianna being terrified that Jeremiah was a rapist and/or real estate broker not five minutes ago. I mean, seven foot tall guy running at you shouting your name? That’s hilarious.
Rianna then tells Rose that the Highlanders wouldn’t have sold him ‘Mechs regardless, because they’re stockpiling machines to use against the Clans. She then explains that several members of the family would’ve gone with Rose to
We then learn that Jeremiah left home SIX MONTHS after his mother died, and I am flabbergasted. While that would confirm that he’s been gone for 15 years, he described himself as having only been a child when his mother left. A child of what, 25?
Rose, master of Diplomacy, then asks if any family members WOULD be willing to join him. Rianna points out one of his cousins, and
Main Event posted:
“The second pilot is Rianna Rose.” Jeremiah’s eyes widened as he looked at his sister with open shock.
“You? I can’t…”
“Don’t even say it.”
NO GURLS ALLOWED!
Rianna then outright calls Jeremiah a chauvinist; which is accurate.
Main Event posted:
“Not at all. Some of the best ‘Mech jockeys I’ve ever known were women.”
“They can ride my joystick any time!”
…
Rianna then gets pissed, because she’s certified on thirteen different Battlemechs and her IQ is, quote, seventeen points higher than Rose’s.
We’re supposed to be impressed, but honestly that puts her at what… an 87?
Rianna then proclaims herself a ‘logistical genius’. In other words, she’s the Deus Ex Machina that this author will use to explain how the Black Thorns are able to hire Captain McCloud’s dropship on a semi-permanent basis so Jeremiah can keep fucking her without worrying about running out of money and/or his battlemechs breaking down because he’s not buying any spare parts.
She’s also a goddamned terrible pilot. I’d honestly rate Rianna Rose at 4 piloting and about 6 gunnery, and over the course of the two books I’d end her at about 3 piloting and 8 gunnery. She’s just bad.
We then learn that she’s turned down several contracts already, despite Jeremiah stating LAST CHAPTER that she wouldn’t be eligible for any contracts for another year.
Main Event posted:
“I wanted to be closer to the front.”
“Where the action is. Just like a newbie.”
[…]
“No. Not like a newbie. Like a sister who hasn’t seen her brother in fifteen years. That’s why I wanted to be near the front lines. I wanted to be closer to Terra and the Com Guards, because I knew I’d have a better chance of finding you.”
Ok…
1) Creeeeeeeepy.
2) Terra is NOWHERE NEAR THE FRONT LINES
3) Terra is
4) No, seriously. LOOK.
Anyway, Rianna wants to go with Rose for relatively sane and understandable reasons. She’s actually a character I like, even though she exists solely to make her Big Brother look awesome.
Main Event posted:
“I don’t know you and maybe I won’t even like you anymore after I do, but I want the chance to find out for myself.” Rianna looked at Jeremiah for the first time since he entered the kitchen. “Do you understand that?”
Rose then recruits her on the spot, thinking she now pilots her mother’s old Thunderbolt. She doesn’t, and his mother’s Thunderbolt was lost when the Clans killed Jeremiah’s little brother (did we mention he died?) Jeremiah still doesn’t care about his dead brother, but he’s surprised and pissed that his mother’s ‘Mech is gone forever.
Rianna then explains that she DOES own a Phoenix Hawk, which is a pretty solid design even if Rianna will never accomplish anything with it. She then contradicts herself by saying it was a ‘Mech that is simultaneously 'rebuilt’ and 'factory new from New Avalon' in the very same paragraph.
She then takes Jeremiah to see her ‘Mech and the chapter ends with Brother Rose promising Sister Rose that they need to have a talk before he