Part 778: Let's Read: Main Event - Part 20

Let’s Read: Main Event (part 20)



Begin Book 2!



Chapter 20
Houston, Borghese
13 December 3054

Days elapsed since book start: 225
Mercenaries recruited since book start: 6
Mercenaries recruited off-screen: 1
Things accomplished since book start: 1 (Rose took a nap, Rose got a Charger)
Protagonists introduced since book start: 7
Protagonists mentioned but not yet introduced: 1
Antagonists introduced since book start: 1
Antagonists defeated since book start: 0
Chapters spent on Northwind: 5
Chapters spent on Solaris: 10
Chapters spent on Outreach: 4
Chapters spent on Borghese: 13 (the book ends here)


We learn from Captain Sue Jeremiah Rose that the trip to Borghese was boring and uneventful. Wanting to give you all the full impact of Dropship travel, I haven’t touched this book since May to showcase approximately how much time has passed so far in book-terms. We have, in this thread alone, accomplished an order of magnitude more things than has Jeremiah Rose in the same amount of time. Think about that for a moment. Let it sink in.

We learn that McCloud is kinda upset with Jeremiah Rose at the moment since his Mercenaries, recruited entirely from family members and a pack of barely-sentient malcontents (AKA: the very dregs of society), are fucking with her crew. Jeremiah Rose, meanwhile, is fucking with her in a more literal sense (and has been since before the book began). We’re then treated to more exposition about a spacer/mercenary truce and a primer on how this author understands Jump Physics to work.

Ever the disciplinarian, Jeremiah just lets his new soldiers do whatever the fuck they want and keep whatever hours they care to since there is no ‘day’ or ‘night’ onboard a dropship. I’ve never served in the military and this still makes me cringe. I mean, really, isn’t this just a quick way for the chain of command (which pretty much boils down to ‘ask Rose what to do’ at this point) to break down? Someone with Military experience, feel free to comment about this, because it strikes me as a horrible, horrible idea.

Especially considering one of the Black Thorns got kicked out of a Capellan Warrior House for being too much of an asshole.

Also, we learn that the Black Thorns don’t have a full-time technician, so they all have to pull double-duty as `Techs. It’s no wonder they won’t have any real battle-preparedness when cardboard cutouts Jade Falcons attack them in a few chapters (spoiler, whoops). Anyway, we learn that Rianna (the worst character) has all the university knowledge on how to repair `Mechs, but Hawg (the best character) has all the practical knowledge that will actually keep the Black Thorns’ `Mechs working. It’s a good thing Jeremiah stumbled onto a crazy guy who’s actually kinda competent, rather than the normal kind of crazy guy who would instead have stalked, killed, and eaten his sister.

We then learn that Jeremiah has only ever piloted his Charger that one time, and that he is ‘leading by example’ by spending all his free time avoiding any sort of social interaction working on his `Mech. To be honest, given Jeremiah’s mastery of all things social, this is probably the smartest thing he could do. It keeps his troops from realizing how fucked in the head he is.

He’s also been stealing from football playbooks, and has given his maneuvers fancy names so he can call out plays and have people know what’s going on two people remember which maneuver he’s referring to and everyone else milling about like idiots since only Ajax, Esmeralda, and Rianna are competent (and Rianna’s too inept to do anything right (on account of her being a girl)). We then learn that he has broken his unit into lances, and who is in each (I’m not going to list it here since it doesn’t matter).

In the interim, the two people from Borghese who hired the Black Thorns have been trying to teach Rose about the planet, but he can’t be bothered to learn anything about it since who gives a shit (also, it’s less that the author has to remember, so he can just make shit up as needed). Borghese is 80% ocean and has only one continent smaller than Australia, which means it either has a billion islands or it’s a fucking tiny planet.

60% of the planet’s population lives in a single city (Houston), and the rest grow Quillar (a type of super-corn that can be grown to taste like nearly any fruit or vegetable you can name). Jeremiah Rose then immediately turns into a smug asshole and decides that everyone on Borghese is an inbred simpleton.

We then learn that Rose spends every moment he’s not working on his `Mech looking for McCloud, who ‘seemed like a different person’ (i.e. they’re not currently fucking each other). We then learn that no, Rose is indeed still fucking her and he’s just not very perceptive. We then learn that his contacts have been fucking with him and didn’t actually have the authority to hire a mercenary company, and that something is going on.

Being dense as a block of cement, Jeremiah Rose simply storms the Assembly Pavilion where the planet’s ruling council meets, which the Black Thorns do by stomping their Battlemechs through town and asking why their contract hasn’t been approved yet. He gives an order that would be retarded taken literally (“don’t stop until you reach the biggest white building you’ve ever seen”) and it’s a good thing none of his troops are spiteful asshats because I could see a goon totally walking through the building in question simply because they’ve ‘seen bigger.’

Rose then sets his unit up to ‘guard the building’ (i.e. to keep people in) and demands that they ratify his contract since according to the MRBC it’s already binding (it is, Rose is correct, but this is NOT the way to enter an employer’s good graces). The council chairman Zenos Cookie then walks out, tells Rose that the council is in emergency session, and that he’ll have to come inside to discuss things. Completely fearless, even though his council is now technically being held hostage by the very Mercenaries they’re debating hiring. Then the chapter ends.