Part 790: Let's Read: Main Event - Part 33
Let’s Read: Main Event (part 33)Chapter 33
Houston, Borghese
19 July 3055
Final Tally (spoilers):
Days elapsed since book start: 343¼
Mercenaries recruited since book start: 6
Mercenaries recruited off-screen: 1
Things accomplished since book start: 1 (
Protagonists introduced since book start: 8
Protagonists killed: 1
Antagonists introduced since book start: 3
Antagonists defeated since book start: 1
Chapters spent on Northwind: 5
Chapters spent on Solaris: 10
Chapters spent on Outreach: 4
Chapters spent on Borghese: 13
“I don’t even show up in this novel!”
I’m ready for this to be over.
Jeremiah Rose seems to be also, and charges at the remaining Clanners (who have been handwaved down to three or so in number). He pretty much trips over a Timberwolf in a city park, and Rose suddenly develops plot-omniscience.
Main Event posted:
Like ancient gunfighters, the two `Mechs squared off briefly. The civilians thought the move was perfectly normal, but Rose knew it was a quirk of the meeting.
…
Not even ‘Rose wondered if the civilians would think it perfectly normal,’ just boom. Rose knows what everyone around him is thinking. He’s Professor X, except he can walk and he’s probably legally retarded. Rose then shoots the Timberwolf in the head with four medium lasers (total damage: 20). This isn’t enough to kill the Timberwolf (somehow) which shoots the hell out of him.
Rose then kicks the Timberwolf’s leg off and somehow nearly falls down himself (HOW?!). Rose then jumps towards two Warhawks and fires missiles into their backs while they’re busy hunting Bell and Hawg. In the process, Rose blunders into a nest of Elementals
As they tear his `Mech apart, he says ‘fuck it’ and fires his LRMs at the Warhawks again, killing one. Then an Elemental rips into his cockpit and
Number of times Jeremiah Rose has fallen over in two fights: 4-5ish? Maybe 6?
Main Event posted:
This time, Rose managed to remain conscious and felt every blow his body received on impact. The Charger bounced slightly and slid a few meters before coming to rest. […] He pulled off the neurohelmet and looked around the shattered cockpit. Seeing the protruding laser of the crushed Elemental within easy reach, Rose sat the helmet over the end.
Dickhead.
The Elementals then turn and run because Hawg kills the last Warhawk. Rose then runs over to Hawg and his BattleMaster and we are told that the pro-Clan faction has local infantry defending the ComStar compound, and Ajax is ‘scouting’ it.
And by ‘scouting’ I mean he wants this book over as much as we do, so he’s shooting the hell out of them with his Raven so he can send Rose’s message to the Federated Commonwealth and get the fuck off this planet of crazy imbeciles.
The Black Thorns then bum-rush the HPG. Rianna does the only thing she’s managed to do successfully since the book started and machineguns one guy who has a man-portable SRM launcher. Of course, she only does that after he shoots her `Mech in the head with it, but still it’s a moral victory which is one more than she’s ever had before. The Black Thorns then send a message to the AFFC, which decides to send a regiment to relieve them.
Meanwhile, the Jade Falcons have come to the same conclusion I have: Borghese fucking sucks, and the Inner Sphere can keep it and all its entire batshit-crazy populace. We learn this on the very last page of the novel, which also serves as the denouement.
Main Event posted:
“Councilwoman de Vilbis is calling the Clan arrival an invasion and the Preservationists [pro-Clan faction] a terrorist organization. Rianna called for the police to pick up the prisoners.”
“We did it, Jeremiah. We beat the Clans.”
Then Rose’s smile began to drain away as though someone had pulled the plug. “You’re right, Antioch. We beat them, but at what cost? The price for this planet was just too high.”
“Captain, this is Command Two [Rianna]. I have an emergency call from the Mother of Mercy hospital. Captain McCloud requests your immediate presence.”
Rose felt his eyes fill with tears as he listend to Rianna over the Phoenix Hawk’s external speakers. Bell’s smile was back in full force and Rose couldn’t help but mirror it.
Perhaps, he thought, the price hadn’t been so high after all.
I mean, only Angus died and he was barely a character at all.
That, incidentally, was the ending of the book.
So, what happens to the Black Thorns in the exciting sequel? You probably don't care, and neither do I. So I'll spoil it:
They go to Wolcott and take contracts to attack the Smoke Jaguars (who were being established as the ‘designated whipping Clan’ in the same way the Capellan Confederation were the ‘designated whipping Successor State’ at the time).
There, we are presented with an actual antagonist and honestly the pacing’s a lot better. Jeremiah Rose is still a colossal dickhead, but an expanded cast of characters makes the story suck a little less.
As for the current Thorns, well:
Angus – Stays dead.
Rianna Rose – gets her ass kicked a lot, recruits some people including a woman named ‘Kitty’ who pilots a fucking Panther.
Hawg – Lives. I think. Maybe he dies. I don’t remember, he doesn’t do much.
Antioch Bell – Becomes Jeremiah Rose’s personal bodyguard due to his
Ajax – Barely does anything, is still a better character than everyone except…
Badicus O’Shea – Dies (killed by Elementals)
Esmeralda – Suicides into the Smoke Jaguars because she was in love with Badicus O’Shea and he died.
Jeremiah Rose – Gets to drive a fucking Warhawk and kills the ‘evil’ Smoke Jaguar Elemental Star Colonel in the climax of DRT by shocking him in a pool of water and stabbing him in the eye-socket with a screwdriver.
Rachel McCloud – Barely appears in the novel, gets pregnant.
Edit: Oh, and in case you were wondering? 11 of 33 chapters are marked 'nothing happens' which feels about right to me. This book was 33% unnecessary filler.