The Let's Play Archive

Battletech

by PoptartsNinja

Part 810: Let's Read: D.R.T. - Part 2

Let’s Read: D.R.T. Part 2: Niceness Elemental

Chapter 2
Harlech, Outreach
Sarna March, Federated Commonwealth
15 October, 3056


We join one of the Black Thorns’ less terrible characters, Riannon Rose. She’s still the worst pilot in the Black Thorns (and will be forever, since she’s a p2g6 in game terms). That doesn’t matter though, since Riannon is a “logistical genius.” She quickly recaps her cousin Angus’s death in the last book (which was poorly described there since Jeremiah didn’t see it) and then she muses about how much she’s changed and grown as a person since she was last on Outreach.

It would all be very touching if she’d actually changed or grown as a person, but spoilers? She hasn’t.

Anyway, we then learn that Jeremiah Fucking Rose had delegated the responsibility of telling Angus’ parents about his death, since Angus and Riannon were the only members of the Rose family who didn’t outright hate him. Which makes perfect sense when you realize Riannon’s character quirk is ‘hilariously naïve’ and Angus’s traits were ‘never says anything’ and ‘has a room temperature IQ.’

Anyway, Riannon is so busy musing about how great she is and how much she’s grown that she blunders into a Wolfs Dragoon elemental. Quickly getting out of the way, she then decides that it’d be a great idea to follow the genetically-engineered killing machine in the stupidest, most obvious way she possibly can. She also uses this as an opportunity to explain to new readers the basics of the Clans, and follows this up by talking to herself. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing, except what she chooses to say is:

“Take this guy.”









So yeah, the Elemental ambushes her. Pushes her down, and is actually kinda nice for an elemental.

D.R.T. posted:

“I am right here. Now why are you following me?”

Ria looked up at her assailant. He was even bigger up close, with ice-blue eyes narrowed to slits as he stared down at her. His features were perfectly formed, beautiful in every detail, but on a larger scale than a normal person’s. In answer, Ria kicked out with her left foot, aiming where his knee should have been.

She was rewarded with a solid strike. For a moment she thought she could feel the knee give way under the blow, but then nothing. The Elemental merely smiled at a kick that should have left him bawling on the floor. Even his teeth were perfect.

“The first one was free because I judge you to be new on Outreach, quiaff?”

He then basically tells her to leave him alone and wanders off. Someone then stops to help her, and we’re introduced to a new character! Since the Black Thorns are down about seven `Mechwarriors, does anyone want to bet money that this will turn out to be a new member? No? I didn’t think so. So hooray for serendipity and plot convenience, I guess.

Also, for sexual innudendo.

D.R.T. posted:

“Thanks for the help. I guess I got careless,” Ria offered.

“I guess,” said the redhead. “Either that or you like your men really big.” Ria flushed as the redhead winked.

We then learn that the redhead’s name is “Kitten” (ugh) and, spoilers, she pilots a goddamned PANTHER.

Kitten (ugh) then basically propositions Jeremiah Rose even though she’s just kinda guessing. Riannon’s “saviors” then decide that they should probably fuck off, but not before Kitten (ugh) asks her if she “has any brothers.”

Riannon admits that she does, but that Jeremiah’s not on outreach. She then offers to buy Kitten (ugh) dinner. I will be honest, even though her character is entirely 1990s promiscuous woman tropes, I kinda like Kitten (ugh) since she’s at least energetic and has a glimmer of personality. There’s a genuinely good character here, it’s just buried in a mountain of “slut.”

So yes, Ria has dinner with another woman and we learn that Kitten (ugh)’s real name is Katherine Kittiallen. And she now admits to piloting a Panther. She’s also unemployed HINT HINT. The other lady, who as-yet is undescribed (she’s got black hair) is Greta Podell from Rasalhague. She’s dispossessed, in her early 50s, AND unemployed. They also have another friend who has blonde hair, also unemployed, but we don’t get to meet her yet. Together, they fight crime they’ve been renting an apartment because Outreach is is one of the most expensive planets in the Inner Sphere. Also Kitten may or may not be sleeping with everyone.

Riannon then admits that she’s looking for pilots, and like sharks attacking a cow with an arterial wound Kitten immediately offers to sign up. If that’s not warning sign number 1, I don’t know what is. Anyway, it turns out Kitten and Greta HAVE heard of the Black Thorns (somehow) because the actions of ten people in a Lyran Commonwealth backwater is big fucking news when they capture six or so operational Clan Omnimechs.

Riannon then decides, logistical genius that she is, that hey. An opportunity’s an opportunity, and she might as well keep Kitten, Greta, and Leeza (their other friend) around until Jeremiah can rubber stamp them in as the Black Thorns’ newest cannon fodder Mechwarriors cannon fodder.



Chapter 3
Harlech, Outreach
Sarna March, Federated Commonwealth
30 October, 3056


Fuck me, we’re still with Riannon. The Slut Trio have been rubber-stamped into the Black Thorns (waiting Jeremiah’s final approval), and Riannon found a fourth guy as well named Jamshid Al-Kalibi to pilot another Omnimech. Jamshid is a Word of Blake operative a mysterious man who speaks only at a whisper and is qualified to pilot every `Mech in the Inner Sphere and several Clan designs as well. He used to be a training instructor for the 1st Oriente Fusiliers, one of the best `Mech units in the Free Worlds League.

Oh. Oh shit guys, this paragraph.

D.R.T. posted:

The fact was not generally known, but the Black Thorns were one of the few Inner Sphere units possessed of Clan OmniMechs. Following their Pyrrhic victory over the forces of Clan Jade Falcon on Borghese, the Black Thorns had scavenged the `Mechs the defeated Falcons had left behind. Lacking the technical knowledge needed to salvage many of these marvels, the Black Thorns had been able to rescue only four of the `Mechs and a small supply of spare parts.

Ok. First?

That is not a Pyrrhic victory.

Second?

So yeah, Jeremiah Fucking Rose graduated from his shitty Charger to a goddamned Warhawk, Esmeralda is getting a Mad Cat (and Jamshid will be getting the other), and they have a Fire Moth and guess which variant it is? Yeah. The overpowered one. It doesn’t have a pilot yet but my gut says that will be resolved by the end of the chapter because

We’re then introduced to Leftenant Donaldson and Yuri Dogdorvich. Dogdorvich, really? Russian Goons, is that a real name or is the author just a dick?

Anyway, Yuri was a pilot and Donaldson won’t be making the cut. Riannon only has one position left so she decides to drop a hypothetical “suppose I tell you the slot goes to the last pilot standing?” Being an idiot, Leftanant Donaldson thinks about this and Yuri sweep-kicks him off his feet. Quick thinking, pirate guy!

Riannon then asks them to fight to the death. Donaldson tries to draw his pistol but Yuri’s brought throwing knives to a gunfight so Riannon stops things before she becomes an accessory to murder. Nice reaction times, pirate guy! You’re in! Fuck you, Fedcom loser!

Anyway, Yuri’s a Locust pilot and his personality quirk is that he's on he likes speed. So yeah. New pilot for the Fire Moth. Chapter ends.