Part 830: Battlemechs are Awesome commercials sponsored by Defiance Industries - Hunchback

(with apologies to Defiance Industries)

Kali Yama Weapons Industries Incorporated: A Foundation of Tradition

"I'm Mechwarrior Andre Norris. Fourteen years ago, while serving with Camacho's Caballeros, I lost my prized HBK-4G Hunchback to a freak ammunition explosion. I tell myself it was worth it to save those kids, but... I miss old Stubby. I truly do."

"Mechwarrior Norris, we at Kali Yama know you do. And we're here to help."



"Presenting the HBK-5M. Everything you love about the classic HBK-4G, but better."

"Better?"

"Much better."

"Better how?"

"This machine can not overheat."

"You're a goddamned liar."

"NO YOU SH- Ah, I mean, it's true. Improved heat sinks have doubled the -5M's cooling power at no increase in weight. Even a full alpha strike while moving at top speed will only reach 65 percent of this unit's heat venting capabilities. You could blow a hole in your engine, and jump 120 meters while firing all weapons, and still gain no residual heat."

"Wow, it can jump, too?"

"No, I was just making a point. The HBK-5M runs so cool, it's redundantly cool. But that's not all. With Kali Yama's patented Cellular Ammunition Storage Equipment, the-5M will never meet the same fate as poor Stubby."

"Fuckin' A!"

"Finally, the completely redesigned ammo bay has been proven to reduce the risk of such explosions by an incredible 50 percent."

"Is that lostech, too?"

"It's not lostech, Mechwarrior, just that good old Kali Yama know-how!"