Part 57: INTERVIEW: Ira
We're seeing if you're stable. You can think of it as a routine health checkup.
O-oh wow! And it's free?
Yes. We'll need to ask you a few questions.
Free health care... I-I'm in.
What is your name and occupation?
I noticed that. What is your birthday?
It's August two.
And your favorite color?
R-red! Red is strong and m-mighty, though I prefer r-red red, not orange red or whatever. I d-dyed my hair even more red so it would be r-really really red instead of the o-orange red that I had.
We only need the basic information, so keep it all concise.
K-Keep it short? Okay.
Please don't stray off-topic. Do you do any sports?
Yeah, a-a little, if people would have me at least. Most people d-don't want anything to do with me, so uh, their loss I g-guess. Maybe they know I'd wipe the floor with their face, hahaha.
But that's just a p-pipe dream. To make it there, you have to s-start really young and get good fast. I'll just never get the c-chance for it.
(Especially not when she will be done with your head.)
Huh? You s-say something?
Don't worry about it. What do you want to be when you grow up?
You're still a teenager.
F-Fair, you got a point. I'm not yet, I guess. But when I'll be, I t-thought about it and... maybe it would be kinda c-cool to be some kind of mafia boss. They'd call me the godfather a-and I'd have a cute daughter no one must find out. But a-also, I'd have a gun, and it would be really cool.
Coolness is debatable and subjective. Does your tattoo mean something, or is it just to look cool?
O-oh, this tattoo on my shoulder? It means something. I think it's J-Japanese for roar? Something like t-that, anyway. It looks r-really cool, but it's not a real tattoo... Maybe I'll c-commit later, even if I don't want to inject ink into my muscles.
Who let her out of her vat? Security, we have a situation.
L-like you'd know anything about tattoos...
Yeah, I do. I got one. A real one. It's for private eyes only.
So... that means you d-don't actually have one, got it.
The interview went back on track afterwards.
Did you know anything about her running free?
F-free? I thought this whole operation was free. Was that a l-lie?
No. I guess I'll just chain with the next question. No point wasting time. Why do you show off your muscles?
I got it, so I can s-show it off, right? People show off what they got all the time. They show off their p-possessions, their m-money, and everything else. This much... is all I c-can show off, so I will. D-dunno if it's healthy to think of it that way, but... there's no helping it w-when the rest of the world works that way. I know it s-sucks but if I don't show off what I c-can show off, what's my worth to other people?
Everyone has a different worth to other people. But I digress. About your muscles, are you good at doing exercise, or do you just use them to fight?
Oh, I d-don't like to fight. Sure, I can get a bit a-angry at times... but I don't want to just mindlessly fight, you understand, right? I want to be a-anti-violent if I can. Having these muscles is j-just for show and for t-threat, I'd prefer not punching anyone. S-so yeah... exercising mainly, fighting the least possible.
Nobody is judging you. What does your workout routine look like?
Uhh... To be honest, I don't really k-know. I know I should have something more o-organized, but... I just do it, you know? I run a lot, and I e-eat a lot. Then I p-punch a bag a lot, lift things of all kinds... I don't have a g-gym or anything, and I couldn't a-afford to get into one. I only grab whatever I can f-find and lift it.
I d-do the same with all the other furniture, not that there's a lot. Oh, I also lift my mother's c-car a bit sometimes. She doesn't use it m-much, though.
We have two questions left. Have you pulled any pranks before?
I-I'm not really the prankster type. But o-once, I wanted to be mean to Annie, s-so I grabbed her toothpaste a-and her shampoo when the bottle was nearly empty. Then I switched them around. I put the t-toothpaste in the shampoo bottle and then did the r-reverse. Her parents spent the next week wondering w-why she was using shampoo for toothpaste, because she didn't r-reverse them.
And finally, ever thought about growing your hair out?
Y-Yeah, a bit. But shorter hair is manlier. Long hair is for girls. There's no way I'd grow my hair out, i-it would be girly. ...A-Actually.. I can see a situation in which I-I'd do that, though. If I did grow it, I'd like if it looked like a lion's m-mane, right? That's badass. M-Maybe I'll do that... eventually.
Alright, that's enough now.
I-Is the checkup complete?
Yes. You can return to your vat now.
It's part of the process. These guys will escort you.
And that's it for him. Interview over. Any further questions will be declined. Log complete.