Part 6: They grow up so quickly these days.
Part 4: They grow up so quickly these days.
: Now that everyone has been vaccinated can we please concentrate on getting off this death trap?
: Well since the red dots out number the green dots two hundred to one, I assume we're the green ones.
: At least none of them are anywhere near us. For once luck seems to be going our way.
: Why me?
: Oh god look at the size of it!
: Please don't rape me.
: Nice shot Doc.
: I didn't go through all that trouble of saving your brain just to see it get eaten.
: This.. is... SPAR-
: Don't.. Just don't.
Dr Williams Log
: "Work at the asteroid base showed the major limitations of single form combat gennies. Of special note on ECG development is work with a symbiote gennie. Tiny gennies which develop on the host ECG drop off and seek out warm flesh. The burrowing behavior was borrowed from a number of Earth's grass seeds. The brain seeking nature is common to many small parasites. In this way my ECGs effectively sow anti-personnel mines everywhere they travel."
Capt. Vilnikov's Log
"Sealed until my death, under sigma code A22151. As undercover security officer and pilot. I have engaged Dr. Williams in a number of private conversations. A sample transcription follows.
: Vilnikov: "Have a seat and strap in, doctor. I talk much better when we're both the same side up. What makes these gennies of yours so impressive?"
: Williams: "Let me counter that with a question of my own. What would you do if we were suddenly under attack by NEO?"
: Vilnikov: "I'd scan the ships and see what I was up against. Then I'd fight or flee depending on the odds. It's what any captain would do."
: Williams: "That's exactly why I designed the ECG. They molt from form to form so that you never know exactly what you're up against. Four stages, each with its own specialties; this makes evaluation difficult. Defenses against one can prove worthless against another."
: Vilnikov: "So we create the perfect threat. Why shouldn't RAM be terrified of the prospect? What makes them profitable, instead of a danger?"
: Williams: "That is what I am working on now. I am modifying their structure to be susceptible to certain harmless chemicals. At the same time, we must keep the specifics very classified. The ECG usefulness would plummet if their weaknesses were broadcast. Also, the weakness for one form may not be the same as for another. I have not decided on this."
: I doubt this information applies to us at all.
: "We have boarded the spy ship and are enroute to Earth. If the ECG phase of the project is successful, my career with RAM is set. Dr. Williams is very confident and we have several hatches of Stage One and Two ECGs in containment fields. I wish that Dr. Williams was more forthcoming about his recent modifications. He has refused to discuss a newly added ability, nor will he mention what control substances he will use after their release on Earth.
: "Capt. Vilnikov is a buffoon who keeps making moves on me. Dr. Williams is as cold a fish as ever. And the security team are as pleasant as a batch of hyper-scorps Only Scot has a decent personality, though I believe that they scanned in too much poetry. His science is excellent, but he continually rhapsodizes about Earth and its native ecosystem. I can't understand what he sees in that chaotic junkheap. When we're done we'll have much more ordered world. Gennies are far superior to evolution's randome gene selection."
: Well second time's the charm.
: Don't mind me I'm just going to be hiding out in the hall.
: Oh Ye of little faith.
: That control panel also seems important.
: Hi my name's Rick and I'm going to mighty space ship pilot one day.
: Charmed. Now would you gentle men please care to explain what five armed NEO agents are doing on an RAM military facility?
: Well... you see... that's classified information.
: Please you have no need to keep secrets from me.
: Well first we were sent to this really crappy but where I was hoping to meet Buck Rogers but he wasn't there and instead there was just this really boring old guy with a cool scar on his eye. Then all of a sudden these guys in red suits came and started blowing everyone up so I started running and the next thing I know they said we were heroes or something which was pretty cool. But when we got to the station there was no party for us, no spaceships and no Buck Rogers...
: And no monoswords.
: ... and no monoswords. And then they shipped us off to this god forsaken space junk heap and the guy we were working for was a real jerk that made us explore this spooky satellite. Then this ghost came out of nowhere and was like all "oooo" and stuff and then next thing I know there's these aliens things and giant robots which were trying to kill us and then Maur turned into a zombie and tried to eat me and then I got shot by a laser in the eye. Right in the eye!
: Great, sounds like more bitch work.
: Does anyone have a USB hub?
: ...poor bastards...
: What was that?
: So those horrible monsters are going to become almost as smart as us?
: Yes... almost...
: Just wait a second, why should we trust you? For all we know your responsible for the state of this station and this task could just make things worse.
: If you help me there will be cake.
: Can't you just send some security robots up to kill it?
: Normally I could but for some reason all the security systems have been taken offline.
: It has already figured out the quarter-circle punch combo, you must hurry!
: Damn you hooked on phonics you've doomed us all again.
: These friggin things must weigh a hundred pounds each.
: Just strap them to my back.
: Five minutes old and it's already got more pilot experience than I do.
: Eat argon tank!
: *THUNK* Kraaaa!!
: It's not a quite a monosword but it works.
: Quick insert the canisters.
: Why is there a face shaped dent in the side of this canister?
: Yay, now we can get that cake and go home.
: I hate my life.
: Oh great another panel, our track record with them has just been stellar up to this point.
: I'll do it.
: The hell you will! Move aside and go sit in the corner.
: Some help here?
: Its actually quite simple. First connect line 21A to Resistor 8-9D. Just don't cross Line 17T with Line 56V. Of course we all know what would happen if you did that.
: I picked the wrong day to quit drinking.
: Oh god look at them all
: I believe some haste is in order.
: It's no good I need more time!
: The is where we hold them! This is where we fight! This is where they die!
: I told you to stop that!
: Tonight we dine in HELL!
: Your almost done. Hurry!
: Not in the face!
: Fuuuucckkk! *click*
: And to be honest it felt good. Really good...
: Too much information.
: Finally this nightmare is over.
: Son of a bitch!
: God dammit, not more running.
: Pick up your ass!
: *puff* *puff* I really need to quit smoking.
: Oh god hurry!
: ... Just leave me... *hurk*
: We need you to stop the sequence. I'm sure as hell not letting Shiv touch it.
: There it is!
: Why do we always have to cut it so close? *cough*
: Don't worry it's over now and the cake will make everything better.
: My kidney!
: One of the stage 3s is still alive.
: Not for long.
: Good evenink.
: Very amusink.
: Oh god this guy is kicking our asses.
: As much as this pains me I think we're going to have to retreat.
: Wait... are you holding what I think youre holding?
: It is! You go squish now!
: Is that...?
: Words.. cannot... *sniff* I promised myself I wouldn't cry...
: We all understand, let it out pal.
: A new spaceship?
: Shoot it! Send it back to hell.
: Oy Vey!
: Can I have my cake now?
: I'm sorry but the cake was a lie.
: Hey guys what took you so long , I'm almost out of snacks.
: We just saved Earth for a second god damn time, no thanks to you.
: Well that's great. Give me the details so I can put them in my report. I'm sure to get a promotion for this.
: What? You didn't do a thing besides sit on your ass!
: Perhaps, but who is the commander going to believe you or me?
: Can I at least have some of that cake your eating?
NEXT TIME: Hot Spaceship on Spaceship Action!