The Let's Play Archive

Bureau 13

by Bacter

Part 11: how I banish demin?

It's become obvious during the course of this update that, while I will follow your suggestions and go to House I've never seen before first, the only real sensible break for the next session comes after I've visited them all. So: prepare yourselves for a TOUR DE FORCE as we shift our attention from cyborgs to demons in...

Suggested Listening: Zack Hemsey - Facing Demons

So if we recall from last time, we've managed to deal with all four of the drones, which for some reason caused an unpleasant looking floating skull thing to start shrieking threats at us from the graveyard.

The reason for this becomes clear once you realize that, despite having no enforcement for this, the game EXPECTS us to neutralize the witch lady last. If you do THAT, this happens.

- So! You've eliminated all my servants, have you? Bah! Come to me, fool! Meet your doom at the hallowed ground I have desecrated! Join the other departed souls in the cemetery I now control! Hahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!

Well, this guy certainly LAUGHS like the green skull-thing in the graveyard, and it told us to JOIN it there, but uh, they don't really look alike at all? I guess it could be a shapeshifting demon or something, that would fit with it being a demon of lies I guess. Either that or that green half-skull is just a really low-res image of a bat demon.

So anyway Stellerex is the AI I guess? Anyway, now we got to do something about green and floaty there.

And you good people chose to do that in the house I'd never seen before!

One problem.

- You're kidding, right? We've broken into, by my count, three separate houses already! Those were like the only things your mist form WORKED on!

- We don't know that this house is relevant to the investigation, so I can't use my powers!

- We didn't know about those other houses before we broke in, either!

- .... let's just move on for now.

- Grrrrr....


So, yeah. We can't enter this totally nondescript house until we have a reason for doing so. We know nothing about who lives here, or what their names are. Just... just keep that in mind.

And just in case we were thinking about breaking the window...

So, how do we GET into that house? Well, as usual, the answer couldn't be more obvious! If you're insane!


We get in using the ancient methods. Misting and breaking down the door works, too.


Pretty standards schoolish place. I think if I was in a classroom with a bunch of windows like that I'd be tempted to just stare at the people walking by, but whatever, for Bureau 13 this is WELL within reasonable bounds.

One thing that ISN'T so normal is this door. You can't "open" it, you have to do the break-in equivalent, of smashing, misting, crowbarring, or crime-ing. Then it tells you that the door isn't even locked, you idiot, and you just open it right up. But you... can't open it. It doesn't give you the icon to op- you know what, never mind. Moving on!

Whatever they pay the janitors here, it isn't enough. Those floors are SHINY! Not only that, but that teacher needs, NEEDS people to know that their book reports are due.

No longer mourn for me when I am dead
Then you shall hear the surly sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From this vile world, with vilest worms to dwell:
Nay, if you read this line, remember not
The hand that writ it; for I love you so
That I in your sweet thoughts would be forgot
If thinking on me then should make you woe.
O, if, I say, you look upon this verse
When I perhaps compounded am with clay,
Do not so much as my poor name rehearse.
But let your love even with my life decay,
Lest the wise world should look into your moan
And mock you with me after I am gone.
Also Mrs. Bellweather is fugly.

Also, take a moment to look at the shadows in this room, and try to correlate them with the objects and light source in it. Stop before you go insane.


Hm... this paper looks interesting though! Let's check it out!


I... hold on a second. Haaaahahahaha

What literature class on EARTH is this. He was ASSIGNED that topic! He didn't pick it! He isn't EVEN some creepy goth kid who wants to do that kind of thing. I just... siiiigh.

Alright, fine.

You win this round, Bureau. So it should be eminently clear (despite no evidence to support this) that that house is owned by the Gembecks.

And, surely as the dawn rises...

Despite Alex's earlier compunctions, misting also works, as does unlocking and crowbarring.

This is my first time seeing this too everybody! I can't wait to...

Hm. Kind of dull, actually.

Right. We are PROFESSIONAL AGENTS you guys!

We are also utterly uncultured. It's probably Monet's Water Lilies or something.

Oh boy! A book!? KNICK NACKS?!

This must be a reference book he was using for his book report!

Which... now that I think about it, wasn't actually a book report at all. It was a study of a topic... ngh just keep going don't think about it.

is dipped in the blood of a virgin, must inscribe the name of the demon on the dogwood disc." If done properly, the disc will burn briefly with the blue fire of heaven. To contain the demon, simply display the disc to him boldly.

MAN. This is the most metal book report ever! I mean seriously, imagine one of your classmates getting up and presenting about this.

Father Blank has some additional dialogue if we read the book as him.

- Ach, I won't be any good for this one purpose, I'm afraid. A wee indiscretion in me youth that I shan't discuss....

Oh man you HAVE to father! I have so many questio-


Augh fine, fine!

I'm... not really sure what that means at all, Littlepants. But I'm sure it's badass, whatever it is you said!

You know though, we MIGHT have been tempted to, instead of going to the Gembeck's household, check out...

The library!

I mean he was doing a book report, right?

The usual methods all work. Honestly the only real point where solutions diverge so far has been a character's preferred method of getting through locks.

Selma, dear, if they find out it was YOU that did this you might have more problems than a library card.

Little sparse in here, book-wise. Still, I guess it's a small town. Well now, let's see....

More detectiveing!

Ha ha up yours the dewey decimal system!

What's THIS?! Over the computer that is. Do my eyes deceive me?! THE HACK ICON!

This is a super weird interface. "Hello. Shall I do the one thing I can do, or shut down?"



Alright first off, yes, this WILL double as having seen the teacher's assignment list, so you don't need to go in the school if you have the hacker.

The second book is checked out to Not-Appearing-In-This-Game Vasquez, and will never come up again, and I would guess just put in to give the illusion that there are other people in this town besides ones directly related to your investigation.

And the third... alright. This guy is both the corporate VP of a HUGE arms company, and (by this point) pretty clearly involved in the cult of Stellerex, an ancient demon of lies.

And he, this VICE PRESIDENT of a major TECH COMPANY can find no other way to get information about the demon who is IN CHARGE OF THE VERY CULT HE IS IN, and in fact is physically present, at least enough to talk to us and manifest in a graveyard, than to check out a book from the library. And not return it on time. Wooooo.

Also keep in mind that, by our character's testimony, nobody has seen or heard from Stellerex in hundreds of years. And the library has a whole BOOK on him? This... this town is kind of creeping me out, honestly.

But what if you DON'T have the hacker? What if you just normally use the computer? (Hand Icon)

You get to see what subjects the local library has books on!

Let's start broad.


Maybe... maybe TOO broad?


Well, knowing this town, THIS should at least work.

Bingo! The only book this library will admit to having! So it's in C204 huh.

Well maybe it's in the creepy basement!

Well, the shelves DO have labels on them....

Unfortunately (and predictably), finding the right section only leads to heartbreak. So if you don't have the hacker, going in the library is a big red herring and a waste of your time. Settle in though, it won't be the last one of this update!

Hm. Alright.

So we need

1) A disc of dogwood, and

2) The finger of a convicted murderer to

3) Write the name of the demon on it, in

4) The blood of a virgin.

Then we just show the demon the disc "boldly", and we're golden. Well we've got the name down, Stellerex.

Now where could we find a disc of dogwood? Well there's the forest, but that's no good. There's Dogwood LANE, which is where the Gembecks live, but no, again that's a bogus lead.

We NEED to be


With this striking revolutionary war statue.

And "decorative trees". It's a park, I think they're just... trees.

I've even got a wood saw (from the AI garage! Remember! Hope you picked it up, because BOY is it going to be tough to find otherwise. Why would it be there? Who knooooows!)

But where is the dogwood here? You think the game's going to TELL you? Are you... are you NEW?

No, obviously what happened was we broke the book return outside of the library for no reason.

Now, keep in mind that we SAW the "books checked out" list. Papal prophecy, Stellerex 4 dummies, and ancient banishment rites.

But no, inside the book return is a book on botany.

I guess somebody figured it was for getting rid of books that you don't want anymore!


has been stored in your inventory

Interestingly! If you EXAMINE the book twice (??), you get this!

obscure religious practices. The entire class has been taking out such books all months, but these few extra are still needed.

My gosh, this is just... a super-hard to find clue pushing you towards this amazingly oblique "get-the-fudget" line, which you have probably already found just by thrashing around and finding the paper in the classroom.


You'll remember that I have never been to the house that has the book in it! That means that the book isn't necessary for this part at all. Keep in mind that I DIDN'T HAVE A GUIDE to tell me about the dogwood, finger, blood, or name. I accomplished it all with random guesswork and clicking, the same way I beat the whole rest of the game. I didn't even notice anything UNUSUAL.

Well! Hot DOG(wood)! Let's get us some dogwood!

Just right in the public park. Hooray for stealth!


It looks pretty churchy.

Now, just for reference....

This guy is still doing his thing in the graveyard.

Actually, a note about that. He has five lines, each of which takes probably three seconds on-screen. He has to say them ALL, EVERY time you enter the graveyard, before you can move or examine stuff. The only thing you CAN do is play that "oops! my mistake!" clip anytime you touch anything. EVERY. TIME.


Looks churchy enough.

I'm not sure what those pews off to the side are all about. Instead of being a baptismal font, that's an altar up front.

Wow! Pricey!

You know, I was thinkin' maybe I could...
BOY I HEAR YOU IN THAT UNIVERSE AND I WILL KILL YOU it isn't. You can't tell me that's the crucifixion. That's a GEOMETRIC design!

Well, time to talk to the father I guess. Given our conversational track record this is sure to be edifying.

So fine, let's tackle demonology, the only real live topic at hand.

were demons around here I'd get rid of them with the rite of banishment. I have a tome here around the church but it isn't necessary since the church is on hallowed ground and evil cannot enter it.

Wow. that's just an expository mess, isn't it! Alright let's parse the problems a bit.

a) "Yes" is sort of a weird response to "we need to talk about this". The priest doesn't know! That's explained because everybody else says some variation on "MAY I talk to you about demonology", and the father's only got one response.

b) So that's pretty, uh, specific! I'm glad they have a rite for that, even though it's never necessary but they're still prepared!

c) Let's just... let's look outside. One more time.


Well, obviously we disagree!

Ugh. This ACCENT.

I was going to go on about how "reverence" probably isn't the right title for a priest, but shut me up, because it totally is. Reverence for priest, grace for bishop, eminence for archbishop.

Uh huh.

Man look at him go out there.

Well, fine. What else?

Ah yes. The witch asking about magic. Does this sound like a joke? So a witch walks into a church...

quite an extensive collection of books about the occult and mysticism. I believe these books were donated to the town library when he died. Yes, you might try there.


And the conversation ends there.

For some extra humor, let's have the vampire ask about creatures of evil.

with you about it?

(same answer as before. No demons! Excluding the one screaming in the graveyard AND THE ONE I'M TALKING TO!)

Let's move right, instead, into the next room! A modern kitchen!

It looks homey if bare. But what's that on the counter?

And just... just left it there, huh. A huge puddle of blood just on the counter? I mean that's a BIG PUDDLE! Surely he felt compelled to... heal himself? Clean it up? Siiiiiigh.

You know! The earth human kind!

Alright enough of that jazz. Further east! Into... THE BEDROOM!

Dear diary. Green skulldemon out in the graveyard again, as well as a upside down spray painted pentagram.
Evil black witch still living in the woods out back.
Cut myself and blood sprayed all over the counter. Left it for later.
Might go check out a book from the enormous demons and magic local library later! XOXO Father Dominic.

Ya moron.


Oh don't you start with me, game. Don't you START judging now! We have property damage, potential murder, theft, and arson behind us now. This is not the time to be getting on me about stealing a crucifix! I'll return it even!

Wait a minute... didn't the father say something about a rite?
Do you see it anywhere? Neither do I!

The way to tell that there is something interesting is that either a) your cursor turns from red to yellow, or b) some icon other than the cursor or the magnifying glass for "investigate" is selectable.

Unlike, say, here.

It's a totally nondescript section of flooring, with no reason to investigate it further. I mean it, no clues, no pixels, no highlighting of your cursor, NOTHING.

So, naturally!

Behold, ladies and gentlemen. The pinnacle of animation!

Yep. Can't even animate a trapdoor opening! Look, I know this was 1995, but I KNOW that they could animate THAT by now. I mean they ahd more difficult animations IN THIS GAME for crying out loud!

Spoiler alert: no he isn't. He's carrying it right now. Now, if he didn't have the leather GLOVES...

I already know a banishing ritual.
Ha ha ha Father Blank is so drunk he thinks Suttle is Selma!

- Excellent! I'll have all the time in the world to wrap him up and send him back to beastie land.
Yes father. beastie land. That's where the demons live, all right.
Are you even a priest? Do you know what a demon IS?

Let's review the evidence so far. Father Blank: is not a virgin, hangs out with a witch, lies about knowing a demon-banishing ritual, doesn't know the name "hell".

I'm seriously doubting this guy's credentials.

This is a total non-issue. The priest won't notice you have the book, and since every character says some version of this, I assume it was a cut puzzle.

Unless they... mean the green skullghost? But that makes less than anything else!

Also note that the comma in there means they are apparently TALKING to Casper. So I'm not sure WHAT they have to get it past!

already know a banishing ritual.

Spoiler alert: no he doesn't. Thinking he does will get you killed and tank your game, in a ridiculous way. I'll show you that next update, but it is BULL.

Fine. So we know where the blood is, we have the dogwood disc, and we know the demon's name.

That leaves... the finger of a murderer!

Even if we've murdered everybody we had the chance to, we don't get to count. Boooo.

So I'm thinking unless there's some wacky revelation about one of the characters, (like Withers [remember Withers? We're here to catch Withers.], who has probably murdered somebody, right?}, we'll have to find our finger ON A DEAD MAN.


A lot of games would make only the relevant gravestone readable.

Not Bureau 13! There are a TON of names, almost all utterly useless.

Well, how do we find out who the murderer could be? What database of names do we ha... OH! right!

Boom! Alright let's plug in some names...



(repeat for all names. nothing.)

Hm. Well that was the only database we had. So....

Look. Let's cut to the chase. You know it's going to be something almost gleefully insane, don't you?

Well, I hate to disappoint. It is. If you have asthma, you might want to get out your inhaler.

Remember this? The library card catalog? The computer that was designed to show us what books they had in the library? That was its only purpose?


What? No. Please, no, why would there be a book about m-

You know, it's one thing to send us on pointless wild goose chases. It's QUITE ANOTHER to expect us to totally go against established type to get information. This is a CARD CATALOG computer! THERE IS NO REASON THIS SHOULD WORK! Why would this information be ON HERE! Why would... Ugh. Ok. You win, Bureau 13. Let's dig up the chump and be DONE with this. My poor heart can't take much more.

And here we go.

We aren't done with that dogwood branch. Got to use it again on the hacksaw, adding a totally unnecessary step (you also keep the branch in your inventory) which also gives us an unnecessary item. You can't mess up the demon-banishing pendant, so I have NO idea why you keep the branch.

But now it's just a hop, skip, and a jump!

Or more precisely, a dipping of a bone into blood....

And a casting (with the demon banishing book) of a spell on it!

But wait... wasn't it supposed to BRIEFLY glow? I think we messed it up.

BUT WE'LL HAVE TO FIND OUT NEXT TIME! that's all I can handle for this update, folks!