The Let's Play Archive

Carte Blanche

by SelenicMartian

Part 1: Tooth 1. Big and Hairy.

Tooth 1. Big and Hairy.

: Introducing the icon for my commentary.

: The curtain opens...

: ...and Absurdus hides in the bathroom.

: Either way, we're in for a ride. I think they used the same people for dubbing both versions.

: Let's go.

: As for my father, he made some kind of sign. I wish I understood what he meant. At least they seemed to agree on something which is pretty rare. The big city will make a man out of me. Was it really necessary to go so far just for that? I don't understand why I couldn't become a man in Quebec City. Meanwhile, there are some more urgent matters. For example: living in my Uncle Albert's apartment... He's the eccentric in the family. A taxidermist.

: The inner monologue (marked by Edgar's Hat) in Carte Blanche is never voiced. That's a good thing.

: ...if you like them big and hairy, you'll be satisfied. I wonder if he was referring to the animals or to Mrs. Malaki, the landlady.

: No posters... No bringing back women... No bleeding... No drinking... No blasphemy... ...and by the way, the bathroom is at the end of the hallway.

: That was first voiced line of the game. Well, a collection of lines. Due to some production insanity the voice for every individual line of the subtitles is stored as a separate .mp3 file.

: A big city, a new home... The only thing left it to find a job. What do we have here?

: ...salary... call at...

: My PhD on Napoleon wars represents and astronomical amount of research! And there's a complete chapter on weapons in it! This job is mine! No one is better qualified for this job than me!

: I'm in control less than two minutes into the game. We can start by examining the room, but I'll make the phone call right away.

: The blue options are generic commands, the green options are unique commands which mostly involve using an inventory item.

: Yes, that's right, I...

: No, no prob...

: 257 Saint-John, ok...

: By the way, I have to tell you my English isn't so good...

: Is that so? Everybody in Montreal has a terrible accent?

: Excuse me, but who exactly will find it cure and exotic?

: But what people?

: Alright, see...

: Another thing about the voices in Carte Blanche is that sometimes they don't match the subtitles. For now the differences are minor.

: Before I examine the room, let's look at the inventory. It's presented as a simple list, but every item has its own page full of lore.

: The uncle seems like a nice fellow. Don't see the line about "big and hairy" though.

: Yes, it was fun. Thank you, inventory writer.

: We shall meet this ravishing Jeannine very soon.

: Edgar also has a file for current cases where he records things he needs to do.

: I'll be neglecting it for most of the game.

: Anyway, the room. We can examine the stuffed things, starting with the turkey.

: The ogre-turkey of the Philippines. Certainly my uncle's master work. Obviously he wasn't exaggerating this bird's dimensions. Oh, aberration of nature!! How will I live with you?

: The shark.

: I have to say I like its style. Nevertheless, I wonder... How many kilos of human flesh has he eaten before ending here?

: The camel.

: How did my uncle ever get this in here? Maybe emptied it totally before stuffing it right here. I prefer not to think about that.

: Examining all three triggers an epiphany of sorts.

: What a strange trade it is, manufacturing corpses!

: And that's our first skill gain.

: Now clicking on any of the stuffed articles offers us a red option to use Edgar's skills.

: Expert work, in my humble opinion.

: Enough corpses, let's examine the window.

: Ah! Urban life's endless bustle.

: On the wall in the corner there's a map we can examine and even take.

: A map of the city.

: We can also examine the commode where the phone is.

: Total lack of style... I'll never get used to modern.

: The white object is keys. Also examinable.

: My uncle's key chain. A stuffed rabbit paw. Pleasant...

: Can we take them?

: One last thing to see is a poster.

: Ah! Josephine Baker... I guess my uncle's tastes aren'e all that bad. See you in my dreams, Honey!

: Exit down to the hallway.

: Something interesting is going on here. Let's examine Mrs. Malaki.

: Looks like the landlady is spying on someone...

: Woo-hoo! With the new knowledge I dash back into Edgar's room (first door on the right) and head for the window.

: Hey! That's Mrs. Malaki sitting on a bench on the other side of the street. Now I know what she's doing the whole day! Is that a telescope in her hands? Retreat!

: Back to the hallway we go.

: Would you believe that your neighbour... ...the so-called poet... has been in there for over an hour? And what is he doing?

: He's howling abominations he dares call poetry! I do hope you're not a poet.

: Well... er... no.

: Good! Very good! Ah! If my dead husband heard that... ...he probably would have grown a seconds goitre. Well, I have to go.

: Goodbye Mrs...

: The bathroom door offers many possibilities.

> Enter

: The door is locked.

> Examine

: The bathroom door.

> Spying [1]

: The roof... The roof... The roof is on fire! We don't want no water let the old Malaki burn! Burn old Malaki Burn!

: Inspired!

: There are two more poems we can hear via spying. They are picked at random.

: Contempt, score, rage! I am the putrefied, the syphilitic! My star squirts a purifying pus! My lute is constellated with chyme...

: I think I've had enough...

: Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping? Brother John? Brother John? He hung himself to the bell... His body goes ding dang dong.

: Ok, that's enough.

: And that's all we'll ever hear of the poet.

Now, a bonus video featuring the intro, the phone call and the poetry.

: Back in the hallway we can do things to the lockers near the exit.

> Examine

: Mailboxes.

> Open

: My uncle's mailbox is locked.

> Keys

: 'Beware! Prepare for a shock! And all that by postal service!' I think I'm scared!

: That was our share of plot-relevant mail. In addition to that checking out the mailboxes again provides a few random spam letters.

: Tired of working every single day for five cents? Own a farm in Yukon! First harvest guaranteed within 15 years! A few farming lots still available.

: Publicity... Feeling weak? Can't concentrate? Drink yourself a nice bottle of McTaouk whiskey! Mind sharpness and increased motivation guaranteed!

: Let's see... Light dresses' season is coming... Improve your starving figure with the Abyssinian balm! Get a chest that will make milking cows jealous.

: Here's Edgar's resume with a summary of all of his abilities. His best developed trait is naiveté. That doesn't sound too good for getting a job in a big city, but let's give it a shot.

: Actually... I'm here for the job.

: Her voice is like a modulated death rattle.

: ...and here's Jeannine, my secretary. Our agency is a leader in private investigation business.

: Were you expecting anything else?

: Yes, but then, why not?

: Okay, I'm the one asking questions but Jeannine is the one who puts salt in the wounds.

: Yes.

: Are you ready?

: Hmm... I'll go with "Yes".

: Yes.

: Alright, lad, let's do it. You're only 26 years old and you're new in town. Sure you've got some ideas but...

: ...but you're totally inexperienced with no useful contacts whatsoever. You may well know the name of Alexander's 56th lover, it doesn't mean you could handle a gun like a man!

: Exactly. So what makes you think you're the right guy for the job?

: One option is right, the other two lead to more talking.

> Modesty

: I might not be the most qualified man but I'm paved with good intentions!

: What we're looking for, is someone with balls, not a choir boy.

> Simplicity

: I've always dreamt of being introduced to Montreal's banditism scene. My eagerness to learn will certainly make up for my inexperience.

: We've seen dozens of your kind! Totally devoted Mama's boys. Young people these days... you've got no spark. Charleston dancing and opium smoking between two classes!

> Bold

: Yes, I'm only 26, but really... you should see me as a long term investment! New in town? No better fit from an infiltration job! Useless academic knowledge? Consider that History is an ancient Greek word from investigation! To discover the facts from what remains... Isn't that exactly what you do here?

: Good... Very good...

: Hmphm... looks unreliable to me. We'll have to nail him down when the wind blows too hard.

: Let's say you've got a one litre container will 500ml of water in it, would you say it's half full or half empty...

: ...or halfway between two absolute poles?

: I'll pick a wrong option.

> Philosophical

: I don't believe in that white and black dichotomy.

: Just like this game.

: Nothing is ever simple.

: A philosopher, uh? Who needs a stinking philosopher around here?

> Optimistic

: Half full! I'm a man that stays on his feet. I can make the best of all the available resources!

: Good, you seem sound enough.

: Easy enough to say when sitting down on a chair!

: Considering the work of a private investigator what is your biggest weakness?

> Teacher's pet?

: I have a habit of stepping back and learning from those who demonstrate great genius and life-long experience.

: That's fine, but I'll also need you to have some initiative.

: Balls! We need balls! Just like Isaac!

: Isaac?

: Well, we won't be doing much deliberating. You're the best candidate we've seen. Your salary will be five fine Canadian dollars a week plus a bonus for appropriately closed cases.


: Today I've got some paperwork for you. Jeannine will take you you your office. Tomorrow, I'll put you on some cases.

: Edgar already gets an office? Wow!

: But it certainly is a promising start!


: Umm... Perhaps next time.

Another bonus video. The Interview.

Trivia: The Russian release of CB added an extra layer of absurdity as the game which doesn't even reach 400MB in size somehow turned into a 2CD 800MB edition. The shit our publishers would do to double the price of a jewel case on a store shelf. It's a miracle the fully localized Russian release of Monty Python & the Quest for the Holy Grail was not bloated.