Part 45: It's Cold Outside Redux, 5000BC with CJacobs
Is that ISAC, forced to fight yet more necramufs?
Ah, of course! This asshole is a hero from another dimension, one given a lot of praise even though really he hasn't ever done all that much. He's got a sick space suit with a fuckin' sweet helmet that allows him to brave any weather and resist any status affliction because he's kind of a mary sue like that. Because of this advanced suit he can also rocket his health up and down like a rollercoaster with virtually no consequences! Only his internal organs will be damaged, and believe me, there are enough of those to go around between the four-to-six of you.
And his name of course is ISAC, a name befitting of such a wonderful man as him.
He's FOOD. Ask him what the hell he's doing here. Be all accusatory, make it clear that it's his fault. Offer him indentured servitude as a means of making recompense for his unexpected involvement in a once in a lifetime ritual.
haha just kidding actually his name is FOOD. Fooled you didn't I
FOOD immediately launches back into the tangent that he was previously frantically screaming his head off about as soon as the menu closes. Something about kicking Zeus in the dick and Smash Mouth's hit song 'All Star' or something, who knows, he's barely making any sense here.
This motherfucker is just going on and on and on but GOKU has already tuned out, strategically thinking of his next move in the grand scheme of the cron trag storyline. It's a real meta moment for him. Just soak it in.
nine-gear crow posted:
Your new friend looks like he'd be well suited to surviving frozen shitholes with relative ease.
Don't call him anything and just drag him back to that frozen shithole place you just came from and see what happens.
Ah, good idea.
"Hey, wanna go dick around in some frozen wasteland off in the middle of nowhere with us? It's really cold there and we could use your suit to add to our general party's stat resistance so we can walk around for more than 5 seconds without dropping fucking dead and reloading a save," you say. You say that. That's what you say.
FOOD puts on his sweet space helmet, snapping out of his insane rambling. "Let's do it."
You are now back in the frozen tundra. FOOD's high cold resistance (I don't even know if that's a thing in this game I haven't played Chrono Trigger okay jesus) allows you to walk around without your erect nipples poking out of your shirt and embarrassing everyone. Don't worry his helmet is still on, it's just that a certain omnipotent narrator is extremely goddamn lazy.
FOOD has joined your party! You can now boss him around! Who do you want to bring out of the terrible disgusting hole you've stashed them in to tackle this area?