Part 51: Lavos Trigger, 5000BC
Fuck what the game says, kick logic to the curb!
Do the impossible
See the invisible
Row row skip the boss fight
YES! Let's do this! Let's actually kick it with logic!
You kick the game cartridge, tilting it, and allowing you to some how execute some sweet Game Genie-esque hacks:
Just as Dalton's Shitty Golem Boss is about to unleash its Belch attack, the game crashes--
And skips you past the entirety of Enhasa and the Kingdom of Balandor nee Zeal!
The game recovers and you find yourself standing in the throneroom of Balandor nee Zeal, before the dread Queen Cisna, and her stolen Mammon Machine. She seems to be reading you something--
"--and thus I have enumerated your crimes against Balandor and myself, her most extravagant Queen Cisna, in a list (because I like lists):
- Destroying the White Knight
- Beating up Dalton
- Destroying Dalton's Golem
- Eating the kingdom's food stores
- Beating up Dalton again
- Destroying the Blackbird Airship
- Murdering Leonard
- Drunk and disorderly conduct
- Breaking the terms of your exile
- Destroying Mount Woe
- Freeing Melchior
- Stealing the ashes of the Former Queen Zeal
- Destroying the Black Knight
- Freeing Eldore
- Freeing the former Princess Schala
- Beating up Dalton a third time
- Defecating on the Queen's mattress
- and, Daring to approach the Queen herself
You ask if you can appeal the sentence or file for a mistrial.
"Hahaha!" Cisna laughs, "you fool! I am going to destroy you using this weird Mammon Machine and the Lavos within!"
Cisna climbs into her Blood Raven Dreadnought and you enter battle.
Chrono Trigger OST - Cisna and Lavos
Well, crud! You sure skipped a whole lotta content! You hope you can figure out what the heck is going on--it looks like you got a boss fight--AGAINST LAVOS!!! Daaayum! Could it be? The final boss fight?
What do we do, fellow Cron Traggers?