The Let's Play Archive

Chrono Trigger

by Blind Sally

Part 53: Credits with nine-gear crow [Ending 26-30 - Locked Out]

Because Blind Sally has run screaming from the LP and is never coming back, it apparently falls to me to post the final update featuring the game's ending credits.

So let's sit back, relax, and enjoy the fruits of our labor now that we've beaten Chron Tragger clean into submission.

Chrono Trigger OST - Ending Theme ~ To Far Away Times

So, fun fact, if you manage to unlock all the game's ending, including the Developer's Commentary meta-ending, you get to have your name in the credits. It's pretty cool. There's only like 7 people who have been confirmed to have done it.

First up we have our cast credits. Old video games like Chron Tragger always had a big farewell to their dramatis personae because these games never got sequels, you see.

Um. Yeah.

Okay, from here on, something interesting happens...

The game basically starts showing you a total cop out slide show of all the stuff the developers planned to implement in the game, but never got around to because they ran out of time/money/fucks to give. So they just tease you with all the cut content during the credits. Can you believe this shit?

What kind of an asshole would do something like that?

Anyways, apparently Cisna was going to kill GOKU using Lavos. Because that's what Cisna does, destroys people. I LP'd an entire duology where she pretty much ruined an empire single-handedly. It was called Killzone: Liberation.

But, you lose some, you win some. While GOKU might be dead, we at least got EPOCH.

And then you assholes demanded we paint it pink and name it DONGS.

Fucking hell, this is why you NEVER let goons vote on anything...

Looking for a means to revive GOKU and kill Cisna and Lavos, we returned to Xenogears, where we fought the Son of Samus, one of the worst boss fights in the game.

To our complete shock, it turned out Samus was a girl. Not just any girl, it was actually ARMS! She survived the shootout in the Aveh desert and her run in with Immortan Joe and became a cybernetically enhanced badass. She was still pissed off about that whole "trying to erase her entire civilization from existence thing" so she used her new plasma cannon arm to try and murder the party again.

CHCH slapped her into a vat of magma.

Still in 2300 AD / Xenogears, we climbed to the top of Babel Tower to retrieve the Chron Tragger to try and bring Goku back.

At the top of the tower we encountered... MOTHERFUCKER!

Is that Ramsus and Miang... and Chu-Chu?

Jesus, this isn't a boss fight, it's a mercy killing. What the fuck happened to them when we glitched them out of the game?

Actually, no. I don't want to know.

Still in Xenogears, we also fought the Holy Mother Brain of Nisan.

Turns out Margie also survived the shootout and run in with Immortan Joe and she had her brain uploaded into a super computer to plot her revenge so that on the off chance the party ever returned to the future, she could kill them for murdering not just her cousin/fiancee (still creepy, by the way), but also her entire social circle.

FOOD used his engineering skills on her and disconnected her from the wall outlet she was pluged into.

See ya in Digital Hell, Margie!

We then went back to 65,000,000 BC... for some reason.

These two losers were supposed to turn up at some point, but then Blind Sally told me he would stop speaking to me if I ever suggested that again.

The party collected all 7 Dragon Balls and wished GOKU back to life from the Eternal Dragon.

And not a moment too soon, because it was time to fight Lavos/Lucca/Taban for realz this time.

And then we won Time forever.

And thus the game concludes on a lingering shot of the Lean Bell, whose gentle chimes the game opened on so very long ago.

It seems like almost yesterday, doesn't it.

Well, on behalf of Blind Sally, I am nine-gear crow, and this has been Let's Play Chrono Tragger: SL99, New Game+++++++

Farewell, take care, and we'll see you in our next LP, whatever that may be.

But wait! What's this! What's making that awful grinding noise?!

It's... a phonebooth? Where the fuck did that come from?

A crazy old man in a cardigan suddenly bursts out of the phonebooth. His eyebrows are large and scary. He yells at GOKU in a strange accent and you think he might have mental problems.

In a commanding voice he says "GOKU! CHCH! You've got to come with me. It's about your kids! We need to go back... TO THE FUTURE!"