Chapter 9: 1,000 A.D.
If this is a joke, it's so not funny.
On a maaaaagical journey.
There we go, problem solved. Can I go back to sleep?
Who cares what he thinks? He's gotten himself captured. Twice.
This was a joke. And what did I tell you? It wasn't funny. I hate you, Your Highness.
Yes we did, Kino. _____ beat Reptites.
I hate everyone and everything in 1,000 A.D.
Please, just leave me alone.
God damn it.
Can we go back to the normal where _____ didn't hang out with Mark?
And then children EXPLODE OUT OF NOWHERE.
And they kiss and burp balloons.
You're then taken around the loop at the breakneck speed of "I went to get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich during this and they still weren't finished".
Melchior is content with spending his remaining years as a crotchety old man. I aspire to be him.
Here's another result of our time fuckery. Lara has her legs, and as a result, now nags her husband. They get divorced (if only the game was that morbid).
I totally did not get any food for the cat.
MORE EXPLODING DANCERS AND CHILDREN WHAT THE FUCK.
The most important thing, however, is here.
Velma: Well everyone, this is it.
Toad: Each to thine time.
Frank: The Gate has grown weak...
Velma: We've got to say our goodbyes before the Gate closes.
You're so goddamn dumb.
Ah, ?!?!?. A physical powerhouse capable of pumping out ungodly amounts of damage for relatively little MP. Not to mention we never had to spend money on a weapon for her.
And as a final goodbye, we get her ass. I love this woman.
The king enters the portal, and just as Toad is about to...
Toad is one of my absolute favorite characters. He's the most like _____ in terms of skill; great attack power, great spells, and awesome double techs. Plus, he's a knight who's a frog.
After some silly banter and a dumb line about the princess kissing the frog, Toad leaves. But there's one more...
"Don't fall asleep. You don't want to know why."
There's a lot of rumors saying that Schala, at one point, was going to be a playable character. I don't know the validity of the rumors, but apparently there were stats for her in an alpha build of the game or something. I don't know.
Jimmy is a good character, very well-rounded in terms of offensive capability. His physical power is lacking, but he more than makes up for it in magic.
Finally, my dream comes true! Robot bum fights! Those bums are pretty scrappy.
Frank is another of my favorite characters. His skills are also well-rounded, and he's damn good physical-wise. He's a bit slow, but who cares? He's a robot. Robots are cool.
Here's my take on the whole thing.
The gang has changed a lot. Stopped several wars, saved mankind, etc. Yet, they retain their memories from both before and after.
It seems time, or anything they've done with it, doesn't affect them.
I think, the moment they stepped through the first Gate, they ceased to "live" in the same timeline that the rest of the world lives in.
They live parallel to it, but are only inhabitants of it at best.
Being unaffected by time, Frank, whether he actually legitimately exists in the new future, will still be there. He'll be a detached organism with no relation to this new future, but he'll be there. An anomaly. He'll have no true place in the future. Frank will have to forcibly carve himself a niche to live in, or forever remain a true outsider looking in.
haha robots are funny
Velma: Do you remember that talk we had?
Mark: You mean about whether our lives flash before we die?
Velma: Yeah. I get the feeling that the "Entity" is finally at rest.
Mark: Yes, I feel that too...
If you didn't notice initially, the old bell is missing.
At least until we decide to wage war on the Mystics.
Once again roped into doing something lame.
It sounds the same as the old bell. This is a waste of time, damn it!
And then, the most wonderful thing happens.
"HOLD ON, PRINCESS"
"THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO TELL YOU"
"I am going to pop these balloons and make sure that we land you-first."
And that, my friends, is Chrono Trigger. Thanks for sticking with me through my ridiculously inconsistent update schedule.
But wait! We're still not quite done. There's still a handful of endings to do! I'll be showcasing them all over the next two weeks or so.
See you soon, fellas!