Part 11: Episode X: Portal (Hamilton Residence II)
Episode X: Portal (Hamilton Residence II)
When last we left our heroine, she's apparently gotten hopped up on coke between stage transitions and have an alarmingly bizarre exchange with her childhood friend. Also, she's apparently a part of some secret alliance of magic teenage girls fighting evil or some such. With that said, let's continue...
I see an 'a' beneath that bookmark. Eatities? Eat tities? That doesn't make sense!
I'm reading 'Ruders' here. We're obviously faced with some sort of ill-mannered fellows.
"I knew Gramps was into fanfiction but Jesus Christ..."
"What's that? Can we spaz out and crawl about the room again? It was a jolly good rump the first time."
"No, Dennis. No we cannot..."
Alyssa rushes over and shows Dennis her newest findings. Possibly adding a 'jinkies' while doing so.
"What's an Entity? And the Rooders? Is that some sort of pastry?"
"So it wasn't a dream... And I didn't get into mummy's coke stash again. That still doesn't explain that last scene. Maybe this is a dream and the part with the psychopath was real!"
"Picked up a bit of a sniffle habit in boarding school, have we?"
"You want to look for your mother? But, she was in a car, remember? She could be anywhere by now. You don't even have an explained mode of transportation to have gotten here in the first place."
"Neither do you, nimrod."
"I don't even have a reasonable explanation for still being part of the plot."
"There's a plot? I came home to see my mom and sort of got sidetracked from there."
"How sidetracked could you possibly be in a mid-sized inn?"
"I ended up in World War II with a serial killer and ghosts and discovered my magic archery skills."
"...You could have just told me it was none of my business if you didn't want to tell me. I'm not that gullible."
"But you are that retarded. Moving on..."
"I can tell."
"What do you mean? Tell? Like GPS tracking? Cause I tried that once with my dad, so I could cut classes once."
"How'd that work out for you?"
"He but lit a cigar and shoved it up my nose. Why do you think my voice sounds like this?"
"I'd have assumed unfortunate genetics. But, nevermind. It doesn't matter."
Alyssa attempts to rush out of the room.
"Just the two of us. It'll be just like the old days!"
"That was a long time ago. I've grown up since then."
"Tch. You mighta gotten taller but you sure ain't developed in some areas."
"What's that supposed to mean?!?!"
"Ergh... Your voice. You still sound the same as back then. Yeah... Heh... I might as well help you."
"Why do I get this peculiar migraine so often lately?"
"You've probably got acute sensitivity to exposition. No worries, it'll pass in time."
"You mean Linda? Isn't she traveling? Oh hell, I'm feeding into it!"
<laughs> "You sister would rather be on another continent than be around you."
"At least I had the house to myself. Your grandfather ditched you and your mother couldn't stand you to the point she shipped you off to a budget boarding school until the age you were just old enough to get kicked out of the house!"
"...You're an ass."
"Getting back on track."
"...so I'm free to baby-sit, walk dogs, look for missing mothers..."
"Did you just compare finding my missing and potentially dead mother to sitting around tending an eight year old and pulling a poodle by its leash?!"
"It's a fair comparison. Yes."
"I've been gone for over three years. Did you make any attempt to make some new friends?"
"I have this... tree I'm fond of. I call him Larry. We have tea and crumpets on Sunday afternoons and discuss politics."
"Getting creeped out here... OK, you can check upstairs, while I look downstairs."
"Yes, boss! I'll investigate the mystery of that sinister locked closet I found upstairs."
"Dennis, I swear to God, if I catch you back in my room I will castrate you like you were Scooby friggin' Doo."
"Isn't it your birthday tomorrow?"
One's own fucking birthday should not be a fucking revealing plot point...
"How'd you ever remember that with all those friends to keep track of?"
<frown> "...Larry's is on December 15th."
"You look like someone who just realized there was some apparent grave danger to take place upon there fifteenth birthday. I remember I had the same look when I turned fifteen."
"Really? What sort of danger were you in?!"
"A wedgie, a beating, and my lunch being stolen."
"Why would anyone do that on your birthday?"
"Oh, it's a daily occurrence. I just realized it was happening on my birthday the next day. Hence the look. Anyway, what's wrong?"
THAT is one horrifying look!
Fuck you, Dennis. Stay away from American slang, you grimy bastard.
Dennis runs off to vanish until the next stage, as he is nowhere to be found anywhere upstairs after this point.
Getting back to that pesky 'gameplay' element, do you all recall that bring red font clue from earlier? Yeah, me neither. But it was a clue to find this little knick-knack.
The closest we're going to get to a clock tower for some time.
There is nowhere else to explore downstairs, as Alyssa finds the notion of exploring the lodger quarters rude. As such, she heads back upstairs. Dennis is nowhere to be found.
Since Alyssa's room is already covered and the rest of the upper level is inaccessible, it seems we're to head back to Nancy's digs. On the way, Alyssa notices the sigil on the rest room is now activated.
Which means her Holy Water can now dispel the lock. I might add that Alyssa's enchanted jug of the blessed H2O has restored itself and can now somehow hold an entire extra filling of water. I'm assuming the answer to how is 'magic' from here on out.
In other news, there also seems to be a note left behind...
"Made due with the resources at hand. Will write a letter of complain to the management!
"P.S. Also, I left on the fan! That stench could raise the dead!"
Zipping past the spirit, Alyssa checks out the restroom.
"Well, someone isn't getting their security deposit back for their stay."
With little to do to exercise the new haunting and rotting corpse in the bathroom, Alyssa makes her way back to Nancy's room.
There, she discovers an abnormal painting.
Which proceeds to fall off the wall to reveal a photoshopped version of the same painting. Must have been some publisher mandate saying they had to stick some sort of clock in the game somewhere.
To the right of the painting is a puzzle involving the winding keys. To the left of the puzzle is the solution.
A series winding the hands an uncertain amount to make it read 3:00 ensues. I'm not sure of what intervals the hands move. I just sort of fiddled around with it for twenty seconds and found the solution. Alternatively, our heroine probably could have just moved the hands into place manually. But, I'm sure that would be deemed 'rude' and not be a proper solution.
The solving of that brain tumbler reveals a <surprise> secret back room. This must have been on of George Trevor's less prominent works.
The hidden back room reveals Nancy Hamilton...actually was dabbling in occult arts? Really? My offhand remark about how Alyssa's television broke actually had some weight to it? This is a startling revelation...
To offset that reveal, it's time for a file:
I'm sure dabbling with black arts is a perfectly reasonable solution at this point. Can't we go back and check Dick's room for a gun? Wily old eccentric men are required to at the very least have a snub nosed stashed somewhere. Bob got taken down by empty boxes. I'm sure a slug to the kneecap could put down any potential villains to come.
Alyssa finds the Portal Square close by. Said 'square' is clearly a circle and indeed does not even have so much as a rectangle present in its design.
Alyssa pours two sprays of holy water upon it anyway and hopes for the best.
Again, why are we doing this?
Tune in next time for:
Not to be featured:
A clock tower.
Dick's Room Cutscene