Part 17: Episode XVI: AC!D (Finale)
Episode XVI: AC!D (Finale)
When last we left our heroine, she had just gone through a sewer level. It was what you'd expect of a sewer stage. It sucked about a par amount of ass, compared to the norm. With that said, let's continue...
Alyssa somehow finds herself immediately cornered, despite being in an open spaced area larger than most houses.
<sigh> "You have a few eyebrow raising alternate costumes and suddenly everyone things you're a working girl."
"Interfere with what?! I've been running away for the last twenty minutes. I obviously want no part in your business."
"I mean with my sales quota! I will not fall under targeted sales!"
"You've managed to corner yourself atop a rickety table. I don't think the cards are stacked in your favor..."
"Gah! Bloody hell! I'm not a frikin' koopa!"
"You certainly look the part."
"None of your lip, little girl!"
"Your destiny... At only five easy payments of $29.99! Act now and I'll throw in two free containers of sulfuric acid free!"
"Will you stop with the stupid traveling salesman schlock! You cannot be a merchant of any type. First of all you're dead. Even the most resilient equal opportunity employers do not employ the deceased. Secondly, you're now a ghost. Your market for spectral goods is limited, to say the least. Even if you were to sell goods to wandering souls, I've exorcised all of them or else you've dipped them in acid. Who would you sell to? You're no salesman! You're a cheat and a swindler."
"Miss, I think you may be right about my market... But, I believe I have come up with a solution to this dilemma."
<sigh> "I really need to sign up for the 'do not call list'."
Faced with a showdown, Alyssa once more summons forth a piss yellow fog. Despite the fact she is indoors and that making little to no sense.
I hate this game...
"Employee of the Month May 1962!"
"My satisfied customers."
"In who's court?! This is an outrage! You'll hear back from the company lawyers!"
HEAVEN OR HELL?! LET'S ROCK!!
Corroder's showerhead can now fire hadoken like blasts of acid a good twenty yards. He must be using the high pressure model.
He can also wave mist clouds of acid about that's range would put flamethrowers to shame. Now, I'm no expert on acid but... It seems sort of unlikely a corrosive liquid could be converted into a floating mist just by being sprayed out of a ghetto-rigged glorified bug spray get-up. I'm just saying...
"So, it comes down to this? John Haigh's flawless sales record forever mired by an upstart townie. It seems unfair."
"That's business for ya."
Alyssa sets up for the final blow.
"Where's the effeminate scream? I feel short changed."
"I'm still okay."
"You had a bolt of holy energy shot straight from the heavens onto your head and you are OKAY?!"
"I mean, it stung. But, I've had worse. Acid baths. Ouch."
Alyssa dings away at him with a few more weak arrows. Grumbling about how her super attack has been rendered less than effective by just the second boss fight.
"Holy light arrows! My only weakness! How did you know?!"
"They're kinda the only attack I have. It sort of narrowed down the variety of possible weaknesses."
"I guess that makes sense. HARFAGNILLLEAVEMYBUSINESSCARDINCASEYOUCHANGEYOURMINDHAFFFAT!"
Corroder explodes into a rather lackluster display through a hole in the roof.
Leaving behind another of these peculiar 'clover' things. Wait... Bob had one clover... John had one clover... Oh fuck me! There's two more stages of this game left?!
Alyssa backtracks half way across the stage again. Since, simply defeating the arc's boss wasn't enough to just end things. We needed that extra three minutes of running through past areas to pad out the time.
Miss Hamilton returns to the door where she and Dorothy rocked the fuck out earlier. She discovers it is no longer barred by unexplained forces that will never be brought up again.
Alyssa returns the plot device to Dorothy's weary, crusty old woman shoulders.
Thus, curing her of her blindness. Sort of a non-issue when your real eyes were melted away in a drum of acid years ago. But, I guess it's something.
"Albert! Albert! I see your mess is still strewn about the place. Even in death you're a no good bum living at home. Albert?!"
"I gotta boo-boo!"
"How the devil did you get blinded too? Your father had only one eye and wore an eyepatch, from fighting in the war like the true man he was, and still had 20/20 vision!"
"I swear to the Lord, I'm going to knock your right side up the head if you go back to wanting breast feeding."
"It's the winter shawl you knitted for me... It itches so badly it fixed my eyes. I might go blind again from the revolting colors you chose, in the meantime."
"Feel this rubbish! A Chinaman sweatshop craps out better material than this!"
"You are right... That was a waste of time. I am wasting my life here! I need to get out there! See the world! Make something of myself!"
"Too bad you're dead already."
"Thank you very much. This boy is going to get the spanking of his life when he sees his father again."
"But, no... Not daddy. You can't do that in heaven."
"Your father can!"
"Err... Glad I could help... Or something... I guess... How does everyone know my name?"
Aww... That was heartwarming, wasn't it?
Suddenly, that upstart bad next door gets into another round of rocking the fuck out.
Since you can't mosh with just one person, the power of metal propels Alyssa forty years into the future.
And back to the entry hall of her house. Like any good rock session should end.
"Ever think you might just have especially terrible henchmen?"
And that's a wrap. Really, the stage just ends there...
Tune in next time for:
A CLOCK TOWER!!!
Not to be featured:
Corroder Boss Intro
Stage Two Finale
Corroder Boss Intro (Mo-Cap Extended Version)
Corroder's scrapped second form.