Part 21: Episode XX: Dance Dance Revolution (Mausoleum)
Episode XX: Dance Dance Revolution (Mausoleum)
When last we left our heroine, she'd just seen her father's horrible, if somewhat amusingly retarded, death at the hands of her slightly unstable grandfather. Also, Chopper condemned her to a realm of darkness or something like that. With that said, let's continue...
Don't worry, it's just a kooky transition effect. Not a metaphor for being born/death. Metaphors and this game have a fifty yard retraining order placed upon them.
We open with Alyssa lying unconscious in the middle of a graveyard. This seems like a perfectly logical conclusion to the previous scene, if you ask me.
Alyssa regains consciousness and checks her surroundings. She discovers, to her dismay, her magic bow has turned into a Scroll of +3 Monologue. And the arrows have decayed into Rods of Narration.
Dick's Notes 2
I'd just like to post the date here to point out they're off by a decade...
"His last name is Smith! The Hamilton lineage will crumble!"
"He wears a belt AND suspenders. How can you trust a man who wears both a belt and suspenders? The man can't even trust his own pants!"
"As God as my witness, my newborn granddaughter will grow up to battle murderous spirits that could easily tear her asunder if they had the slightest bit of competence!"
No date. Scribbled as though in haste.
"Officer, he was just sitting on the balcony, like the retched waste of rabble flesh he is, when, through his own idiocy that he never EVER fails to display, tumbled off onto the axe below. No doubt the gravitational pull of his huge, empty ugly head drew him to it. Did us all a favor, if you ask me. Now the Hamilton family can continue unabated in its timeless quest of battling the ghosts of serial killers throughout time. Why are you looking at me like that? Why is your partner pulling out his handcuffs?! I tell you! I'm innocent! Think of the ROODERS!!!"
Right, then. That was unenlightening. Now, about this graveyard business. The two ornamental headstones on both sides behind Alyssa have a circular indentation, which will be our (surprise, surprise) fetch quest items of this half of the stage.
Now, getting down to business. There are paths leading in each direction. The one behind Alyssa, to the west, is just a save point/holy water refill station. Let's see what's to...
...the east! Miss Hamilton spies a stage like ruin ahead of her.
To her horror, she discovers it is the haunting ground of the wandering spirits of interpretive dancers.
And even more ghoulishly, the specters of Renaissance fair folks lurk the hallowed ground.
Yeah...your guess is as good as mine.
The front dancers vanish, leaving the back row fruits to speak up. A spotlight from the heavens shines on each speaker.
"...and been trapped in darkness ever since. Billy Zane won't shut the fuck up about it."
"It's too dark to see anything. Though, this spotlight in my face isn't helping matters either."
"Oh, Jesus. It's Ohio, isn't it! Isn't it?!"
"I wish... I just wish I could be resurrected to fight them. Since, it went so well the first time..."
"A Subordinate stole my heart from me, and the Entities used it to perform the Ritual of Engagement. I never should have consented to being an organ donor."
The Rooder ghosts all vanish.
"Tell me! What is going on?!"
Yeah, good luck figuring that shit out, sweetheart. Our befuddled heroine returns to the center area and tries her luck heading north.
Oh, hey. It's one of the circular portal squares. Haven't seen those in a while. Let's take see where we end up.
Alyssa hitches a ride on the magical rune expressway.
Ahh. Ass deep in more grave yard. What a startling change. Couldn't we have just...ya know...walked here? How big can the place be?
Alyssa wanders down the path for a good pace.
"Hey, isn't that my mum's c-"
Where would we be without our favorite leather clad albino with axes?
"My ass looks fantastic in these pants."
"Your numbers get mowed down by even the most untrained opponents until you pull a deus ex machina?"
Chopper kicks Alyssa to the floor for her sass.
He then employs his super speed (which he never employs again...ever) to vault up to the top of a nearby fountain. For a stat bonus to his villain pose ability.
"You're lying! Who would take the time to kill that many people then bury them all in a private graveyard, complete with elaborate headstones for each victim? Who would go to all that trouble? Much less have the time to do so?"
"I'm an albino. I really need to bide my time between murders or the whole serial killer thing doesn't exactly fly."
"...I see your point."
"The Ritual of Engagement will begin shortly. Just... Just as I take the time to recover."
"Recover?! From what?"
"This pose... I... There's an issue. A pressure issue... Oh crap... Oh God..."
A few minutes pass...
"Okay... Okay... Oh man... Man... Alright, I think I'm good."
"Right... Now, where were we?"
"Something about cutting out my heart for you to ask someone's hand in marriage or something."
Tune in next time for:
Dick's Monologue 2
Rooder Spirits Cutscene
Chopper Showdown Cutscene
Chopper Showdown Cutscene (Mo-Cap Version)