Part 41: I’m seeing things I thought I’d never see

Update XIV: I’m seeing things I thought I’d never see
Song Title Reference: Dance Epidemic – By: Electric Six



So that was fun, right? We got to see the anime and all of the anime characters that only vaguely resemble the ones we’ve gotten to know over the past thirty something updates.

Okay, so it wasn’t actually fun. It was fairly boring and kind of stupid. We were also exposed to a far worse version of Mana. We’ll take a step away from the anime for now and get back to game stuff.



With the Spring Labyrinth completely cleared out, we move on to Summer. It’s time for the Cancer Labyrinth. The astrological Cancer I mean, not the horrible disease.



Cancer’s design shares Ruka’s colour scheme. The gold ring thing that Ruka carries at her side is part of the column décor and the weird checkboard pattern along the bottom of Ruka’s skirt is scattered randomly across the floor. I like the colour scheme of this labyrinth, but nothing really jumps out at me in terms of everything else. I don’t think anything is going to top the column wigs from Leo.

Also, we’re still rolling with the Star Children we had in the last dungeon. Voting for the new Team A(wful) is moving at a glacial pace and I still have no suggestions for Team C. I may have to just take matters into my own hands at this rate.



Not that it really matters much just yet. This Labyrinth is going to go by real fast and we’re not going to see anything approaching resistance as far as enemies go. Even the boss of this place will be torn through like wet paper.

We’ve moved back to Summer Labyrinth enemies, so you’ll see a lot of those lizard things, the fire ladies, and the snake people. Itsuki is still rocking the Toxic Gauche, so he’ll be wiping out nearly everything in a single swing since a lot of these enemies are fire based.



In terms of treasure, we snag a Mysterious Robe for Magnus (Nunavut has been wearing one of these for a while now).



There are very few things of interest happening during this run. Here’s one of them. The bonus exp enemies can come in groups of three, which is the first time I’ve seen this happen in this game. Unfortunately…



—the EXP isn’t as great as you would think. We’re so powerful at this point that these guys get taken out in a single physical attack, which makes going for Chain Bonuses impossible. Oh well, it’s still easy EXP at least.



The other thing of interest is that the Item Shrine coughed up a new weapon for Itsuki.



Despite looking like a joke weapon, Bat is actually really good. It beats out Toxic Gauche in raw damage and being able to drop the enemy’s MAT by 5% isn’t bad. As fun as it would be for Itsuki to run around clubbing monsters to death with a baseball bat, I keep Toxic Gauche equipped on him for now. This dungeon plays to its strength better than Bat, since TG has Water element damage.



Anyway, that’s literally it for the dungeon. This was even less eventful than the other recent dungeons.



At least the boss looks kind of cool. Unfortunately that will be all he has going for him. Well, what does Mana have to say? Let’s at least give him a chance.

This is Scelorum of Cancer. It’s an Earth element Impurity God! It uses ranged attacks and is super tough! Take advantage of its weak point!

I swear to Star God, that better not be a giant enemy crab reference.



Scelorum’s stats are about what you would expect for a boss. Now, normally that physical attack would be a little bit scary, especially when combined with the semi-decent speed. The thing is, Mana mentioned that Scelorum likes to use ranged attacks. As we can see, its ranged attacks are… limited.





There are also Crater support enemies, Earth and Fire. As usual, they will be dead before their first turn comes around.



Here is the major weakness of Scelorum. At least, this is its major weakness when fighting it way later in the game. Earthstorm just doesn’t pack a punch at our current levels. You would need a seriously jacked up MAT stat to make it work, but Scelorum doesn’t have that so it just kind of tickles our Star Children. I don’t even bother to heal this, I just send everyone off to kill the Craters.



Itsuki’s damage is limited because of the Water element of his weapon, but it doesn’t matter. Scelorum is all alone now and its damage potential is pathetic. Well, it’s magic damage potential is anyway. Physical is a bit of a different story, but it’s going to take a little while before Scelorum realizes that.



Still not there. Come on, you can figure it out.



I try Itsuki’s Terra skill again, just for fun. It’s still disappointing.



Scelorum finally decides to change tactics and start using its physical attack, which hits significantly harder than magic. Unfortunately though, it still doesn’t hit as hard as previous bosses we’ve faced. Not only that, but Scelorum can only attack a single zone at a time.

I use the next turn to have Team Canada 2.0 heal up Team Psycho Knight. Scelorum attacks Team PK a second time, which brings them right back to where they just were. Itsuki then heals up Team PK and Scelorum attacks them again.



At this point the turn order shuffled Scelorum to the back and I’m given a chance to break the cycle of pointlessness. Everyone piles on the boss and Team A(wful) uses Temple Chain to trigger Chain Drive. Scelorum’s turn then slips futher back and it's quickly stabbed to death from every angle by our entire squad.



You tried, Scelorum. It was a sad try, but it was a try all the same. If we had tackled this dungeon earlier on (or if you had just upgraded your spells) then you may have posed a bigger threat.



We get some experience, some kids level up, then Itsuki seals this place. Let’s go home.



…So now what do we do… Gotta try and fill out this update with something. Well, let’s go over the shop and tavern while I try and think of something.



The shop once again gets new stock in that is already outclassed by shit we’ve been using for 3 dungeons now. I only show off Hard Luck because it seems to be a “Joke” weapon. Looks like a branch that one of the kids picked up off the ground.



Axe wielding classes can also grab themselves a pickaxe at this point. Neat.



Next, we can grab one of the scissor blades that the Bondsman Star Child class is shown using in their artwork. From the looks of Roy and Alberta over to the left, it’s of no use to us despite how cool it looks.



And finally, sword wielders can get back to basics by grabbing a BANBOO. Katie might actually benefit from this. One weapon type that hasn’t been seeing regular upgrades is Sword. Remember Calamity? That cool looking sword from forever ago that I was stoked about grabbing a bunch of? The sword classes are still using those. That being said, you can’t argue with the results since they still haven’t been outclassed by the shop swords.

As for items, there aren’t any new ones. We’ve reached the end of the product lineup as far as items go.



The only ones we’re missing at this point are the other “Fruit” items. They give permanent stat boosts to Itsuki (or the Star Children I guess, if you felt like wasting them on characters that you’ll probably end up replacing at some point). Each boss drops a different kind of Fruit, so we’re only missing the five of them that come from the five remaining dungeons. If you want more of them, then you have to run back to the dungeon and fight the generic version of the labyrinth boss which randomly appears on Floor 14 or 15 (I’m not sure if they can appear on Floors 10-13).



I forgot to show this off. We got Thirty Arrows from a Tavern quest a little while ago. It’s another one of the “enterbrain” reference weapons. We’ve got the Sword, Bow, and Staff. So I guess we just need the Lance, Axe, and Claws.



We’re still missing a lot of the weapons/armour and I honestly don’t think we’re going to see that section of the database getting completed by the end of this LP. However, what we can complete is the Gift section of the database. We’re only missing 2. To get them, we have to go for a rematch of Sports Day.



We took a look at this event way back near the beginning of the LP. Mana will force/ask you to join during the first week of May and the festival itself will happen automatically during Week 2 of May.

Back when we first looked at this, Itsuki’s Bond Level with the Maidens was far too low to win. I believe we could have won this once his Bond Level with some of the Maidens hit 3, but I haven’t bothered going back to it since that first time (remember, Mana will give you a choice to join every time after the first).



This time, we’re going in with the Bond Gauges of all Maidens at Max. Victory is assured! …Well, it’s assured for the three-legged race anyway. The three-legged race only requires that you pick a single Maiden with a strong bond.



I chose Arie here because that’s who we went with during the first Sports Festival. As you can see, not much changes in terms of dialogue if you win.



The second events are all group competitions. These events can be lost even if you have Max Bond with all the Maidens of each team. For example, let’s try the tug o’ war. Tug o’ war teams us up with Reone, Lillith, Ruka, and Collette.







Tug o’ war starts going south for Team Itsuki. You’re given a few choices as to how to respond. For the sake of one of the Gift Items that we are missing, we’re going to lose this event. That means we’ll need to do something that works against the team. I’m talking about Lillie.





Yes, if you ask Lillith to bring Lillie out for some extra muscle, she immediately turns around and starts tickling Reone. Reone smacks her on the head and brings Lillith back out. Then we lose.





If you win one event but lose the other, then Mana will present with you the Gold Medal. The last gift item that we need will require us to crush everyone at the Sports Festival.



This time, for the second event, I go with the Relay. That teams Itsuki up with Mahiru, Tarua, Femiruna, and Farun.



You have to pick one teammate to be the “Anchor”. This is the person that will be the last to get the baton and has to run the last section to the finish line. Farun backs out because she figures she wouldn’t be any good and Femiruna immediately calls dibs on going first. That means you have to pick Mahiru, Tarua, or Itsuki. I go against the obvious choice and choose Itsuki. I’m not sure what the wrong choice is here, but I would imagine that it would somehow be Tarua. She is the most obvious choice in a sport that’s all about running, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the game pulled a fake-out on you.



Tarua manages to smoke the rest of the competition and hands off the baton to Itsuki to finish the job.



Itsuki manages to overtake the first place runner and secures the win.





Clearing house in the Sports Festival will have Mana handing over the final gift item we need: Trophy.

So that does it for the Gift Items. Keep in mind that if you give Gold Medal or Trophy to a Maiden as a gift, you can always grab more by winning the Sports Festival Events again. Honestly, you’re better off just keeping it as a souvenir. Gift Items are easy to come by, so you shouldn’t need to use these.



Speaking of seasonal events, let’s check on two more. We’ve already been to Star Maiden Camp, but it couldn’t hurt to go again with somebody new. The first time we did this, we—



Oh, right. I should mention that I discovered it is possible to lose at the Watermelon Smashing section of this event. I have absolutely no idea how the game determines winning or losing since I listened to the directions given by the Star Maidens that have the highest bond with Itsuki (which is currently all of them). It’s possible that maxing out the bond level of all Maidens will result in winning/losing this game being completely random. Or maybe there is some method to the madness that doesn’t rely entirely on the Bond Level. Either way, no big deal. I’m still holding on to the Watermelon item we got the first time we did this.

Anyway, as I was saying, the first time we did Star Maiden Camp we chose to listen in on Arie in the hot springs and take a walk with Mirei. This time we’ll change it up.



We’ll listen to Mirei this time and then go for a walk with Femiruna. No, there was no particular reason why I picked either of these ladies. I may have been partially asleep while recording and just picked at random.



Sue… is your animal research going well?

Yes…

That’s good…

Yes…

Riveting.

Hey, ya two! What are ya just chillin’ there for?

Farun, don’t disturb our relaxation. Unless you wish to be my next experiment?

Ohhh, scary… Your eyes are totally serious!

Mirei, don’t forget the point of Camp.

But seeing everyone like this, everyone has many different shapes and colors.

What are you talking about?

Mirei might not be wearing her glasses right now. Who knows what she’s looking at.

Comparatively, yours are large and supple. At the end…

You don’t need to describe everyone. You should just stop right there.

Never mind, she’s talking about tits. Is this what every conversation during this event revolves around?

What? I thought the point of Camp was to understand each other? You’re such a weird one…



Whatever. Let’s do the scary monster adventure to collect a piece of paper from the school. We’ll take Femiruna this time. She seemed pretty brave during that Impurity attack and she’s supposed to be a Lion… or a cat-lady… whatever. Point is, she’ll probably—







Oh, right. So, this event changes a little depending on your Bond Level. We’ve maxed out everyone, so Itsuki choosing Femiruna results in some disgruntled reactions from the other Maidens. Some of them are relatively accepting of it and others (Mahiru) get kind of pissy about it.



Most of them are just disappointed, though.

Just a friendly reminder: This is the kind of shit that happens in a Harem. This is why Harem endings are bullshit and the only people that think they are something to be desired are teenaged boys and teenaged boys trapped in men’s bodies.

Trying to divide yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally between multiple partners isn’t awesome! It’s a nightmare!

My apologies…



Sorry, I have a thing about Harem Endings. Have I mentioned that we aren’t doing the Harem Ending for this game? Because we aren’t. I’m not even giving the thread the option to vote for it. I’ll give you a summary, but this LP is not canonically ending with a harem. Itsuki’s going to be a goddamn man about this and choose one person.

Anyway, we were doing something with Femiruna. A haunted forest or some shit.

I did not expect it to be this terrifying…

Don’t worry about it. Even if they’re trying to scare us, they’re still friends. It’s not like we’re in any real danger.

I don’t know about that. I think Mahiru would probably be willing to take a swipe at you at least. She didn’t seem pleased about getting passed over.

You certainly seem composed…

I’m in the labyrinths all the time. This is nothing compared to that.

How brave… I see it was the right decision to not have guards.



Uhh… You’re getting a little close, Femiruna…

Hehe… You may not get tense around Impurities, but you certainly do around Star Maidens. What an interesting discovery…

And that’s it for that event. The next scene just has Itsuki in the school hallways saying that they found the paper and are going to head back.



I’ll only subject the thread to one more event for this update. This is one that I don’t think I’ve ever even mentioned (mainly because I forgot about it completely).

The Academy Festival will trigger during the first week of November. After Mana asks/forces you, the event will automatically happen on Week 2 of November.



I’m okay with earning money. I mean, we don’t need it anymore. But hey, can never have too much, am I right?

Work your butts off and earn some funds for the battles ahead!

I never thought I would be waitressing. I don’t know if I’ll be good at it, but I’ll do my best.

Don’t worry about me. I can handle the register with my eyes closed. Of course, there’s no problem if I use Star Energy, right?

Mana made me the “service girl,” but I don’t know what I should do. I guess I’ll just try not to overdo it…

Well, at the very least this is a school event and therefore won’t have alcohol, so we don’t need to worry about Reone getting plastered again.

…Although, I think that would have made this event better. Drunk Reone was pretty entertaining back during the welcome party.

Why am I waitressing and not cooking?! Does Mana not know the expression, “the best person for the job”?

Wouldn’t the best cook be Arie? Or maybe Collette?

I’m also a “service girl”… That’s why I brought all my animals…

I think Mana made the right choice by making me the standout waitress. One look at my beauty will attract many customers.

Augh augh! Looks like there’s tons of sweets and snacks on the menu If there are any leftovers, can I have them?

No, I didn’t mess up. There really was a period missing after “menu”.



It feels like she’s making fun of us with this, but whatever…

Honestly, this is probably the best thing you could have done for an Academy Festival. You’re talking about a class comprised of the 12 Star Maidens serving you drinks and snacks. Forget the dudes at the academy that would line up around the corner for that, I’d bet there are more than a few ladies that would be on board for it too (if Mahiru’s groupies are anything to go by).

I was told to “service” the customers. Should I dance like I do at the bar?

I’m supposed to help everyone else. I hope I can do a good job…

To attract more customers, I’ll be doing my fortune-telling. I’ll do my best to get many customers.

As an advertisement for my bakery, so much of my bread is here! Please look forward to it!

Okay, so everyone already has a role assigned to them and Collette and Lillith are busy advertising their own businesses. Where does that leave Itsuki?

So… what do I do? Why didn’t you give me a job?

As the manager, you’ll be looking after the Star Maidens. While the Star Maidens are working, you can’t let them out of your sight.

So I’m just keeping an eye on them? Well… I guess I can do that.

All right, Star Maidens, let’s get this show on the road! Star Maiden Café is open for business!


~Star God Academy Hallway~

Looks like everything is going well so far. I guess I’ll make the rounds and check in on everyone.

~Star God Academy Classroom~



Let’s give it a taste… H-Hyaaaaaa?! M-M-M-Mahiru!

Oh, did you finish the bread you were baking? Let me give it a try… H-Hyaaaaaaa?!

Why are you both freaking out? What happened?

Itsuki… this is… spicy bread…

Is that what you’re selling? Let me try some… Gah! T-Tooo spicy! Too spicy!

Why is it so spicy?

Weren’t you the one who mixed in the spices, Mahiru?

Did I not put in the right amount? Oops…



And we made so many of these! What are we going to do?!

I-In this case, shouldn’t we talk to the store manager?

Oh, sure. Pass off your incompetence on Itsuki.

Well?



So here is how this event really works. Manager Itsuki needs to make a few choices throughout this event. Depending on your choices, you’ll earn more or less money at the end of the event. I haven’t played around with this to see what answers are the “best”, I just chose ones I thought would be good. The money you get isn’t amazing anyway, so it’s not super worth the time to experiment.

Well… How about you change the name and sell it that way?

What do you mean?

If it’s super spicy, then call it something like



That sounds like an item from a video game.

But, compared to remaking it, I think that’s all we can do at this point.

Why not? There’s no shortage of idiots willing to take on a challenge purely for bragging rights. I’m sure someone will see that and go “Pff, I bet it’s not that spicy. I could handle it.”

So from now on, the name of this bread is… Hellfire Spicy Bread -- Eat it, Hero!

Let’s hope it sells.

With the first crisis handled, Manager Itsuki wanders around some more as he awaits his next problem.

Business is going great. We’re totally full. …Hang on, where did Farun and Lillith go off to?


~Star God Academy Hallway~

There you are. What are you two doing out here?

Well, we’re service girls so there ain’t much for us to do. There’s too many customers here. If I try to dance, I’ll just be in the way. Right, Lillith?



It’s so successful, there ain’t really a need for us service girls, no? Can we go off an’ do our own thing somewhere else?



Oh no. You’re not wiggling your way out of this.

Well, if you need something to do then go help out in the café.

What should we do?

Since the place is full, you should help take orders and do the cooking. The others could really use some help. You’re used to this from working at the bar, right Farun?

Fine. I mean, if we have to.

If everyone else has to, then yes, you have to as well. Come on, don’t be that person. Don’t be a Psycho Knight.

Let’s go, Farun.

Aye-aye, sir!



A fine day’s work, Manager Itsuki. Let’s see what we raked in.

Good work, everyone! After we finish cleaning up, we’ll check today’s sales for the Star Maiden Café! Our sales for the day are…

Okay, I guess everyone finished cleaning up right as Mana said that. There was no time skip or anything, Mana just goes straight into announcing the sales.



Meh. At least Itsuki seems jazzed about it. I guess that means we did good.

We’ll use these profits to help bring peace to the world!



Despite getting 3000G in sales, Mana only hands over half of that amount. I guess the rest went to expenses. At least, it better have gone to expenses. If we find out that Mana’s been skimming off the top, we’ll have her hide.



We also get a Maiden Tea item. 100% MP cure and status heal isn’t too bad. I can’t imagine I’ll actually ever have to use it though. Battles don’t tend to drag on long enough to burn through all of a Team’s MP. Not anymore, anyway. Probably would have been more useful earlier in the game.

Okay, after this is the Circle Dance in the academy field. Those who wanna participate should head there now. Itsuki, this is a great chance to increase your bonds with the Star Maidens. You should participate in the dance.

I sort of suck at dancing, but I understand that it’s important. Okay, I’ll do it.



Despite what you would think, you don’t have to choose a single Star Maiden for this part of the event. Itsuki will get a short scene with all Star Maidens that he has a strong enough bond with (I don’t know exactly what level of bond is required. Level 2-3 seems like the standard for other events).



Of course, since we’ve maxed out everyone, that means Itsuki is about to be thrown all around the field from one Maiden to another.

I should try this with the children. Also… Itsuki…



Your hands are really warm, Arie…

My body isn’t just hot from the dancing… Itsuki, you understand without me saying it, right…?

Although, considering how hot under the collar the Maidens are apparently getting, maybe these scenes only trigger at Bond Level 5.

*At this point, Itsuki is flung off to the next Maiden*

Ah, so you decided to participate as well? Reone wouldn’t let up, so I decided to come. But what fun do people see in this?



How about you? How do you feel dancing with me?

I feel great. I’m glad I got the chance to dance with you.

In that case, it’s a good thing I participated. And, holding hands with you like this… This means so much to me…

*Off to Reone next*

Haha… I had a feeling you’d participate, Itsuki. This is more fun than I expected. It’s been a while since I’ve thought that. Hey, Itsuki. The world’s problems sure seem to melt away dancing like this, don’t you think?

That would be amazing if it were true.

But, if we didn’t have this threat, we wouldn’t have been able to meet. …I’m sorry. I’m a failure as a Star Maiden, aren’t I?



And I can’t help but be grateful for that.

*You’re next, Ruka*

Ah, Itsuki… I shouldn’t have participated in this dance. We aren’t holding hands, so people must think we’re weird. You’re a God’s Gift, so it’s okay for us to hold hands.



What in god’s name are you talking about? You’re a Star Maiden and he's a God's Gift. You are special.

Don’t worry so much about that. Just have fun.

I wonder… Ah! I mean, it’s not like I particularly want to hold your hand or anything…

Just hold my hands and dance. Don’t get so caught up in that stuff.

Y-Yeah… let’s…

*It’s Sue time*

Itsuki, I finally found you… I was worried the dance would be over before I found you… I… might have been born just to meet you. I sometimes think that… Does that bother you, Itsuki?

Well, not really, no.

I think that might be coming on a little strong, personally. Take it easy, Sue. Bond Level 5s are coming up next. Hold it until then.



I never want to release these hands… I never want them to be apart…

*It’s Femiruna’s time in the spotlight*

You participated because you wanted to dance with me as well, correct? It may be embarrassing, but there is no need to hide it.



I heard you would be participating, which is why I came here. You feel the same, no?

Of course. I only agreed so I could dance with all of the Maidens.

That’s right Itsuki, keep everyone at arm’s length for now.

Oh, do not hide your feelings with all that Star Maiden talk. I am always happy to be your partner.

*Tarua likes to run dance*

Yay, we all get to dance together! This is super fun! Itsuki, are you having fun? Holding hands with you makes this even more fun!



Glad to hear it.

Itsuki, I wanna feel more of your magic hand. Not just holding hands, but… Augh, this is so embarrassing! I can’t say anymore! Augh augh!

*Okay, let’s move on to Mahiru*

Oh, if it isn’t Itsuki. And to think, you never once participated in a school festival back home. I never thought you would be here. Shall I lend you a handkerchief, Itsuki? Your hands must be really sweaty.

Give me a break… I’m not good at this dancing thing. You know that.



As long as you lead, I’ll follow whatever weird dance you come up with.

*Forward to Farun*

Hey, Itsuki! Dancin’ like this from time to time is fun! Hey, let’s get a bit more crazy with our dance! Itsuki, your movements are getting clumsy. Maybe you’re gettin’ nervous dancin’ with me?

It’s hard not to. I’m always nervous when I dance. On top of that, I’m dancing with you.



I don’t mind so long as it’s ya, Itsuki. I don’t mind many things if it’s ya…

Okay Farun, let’s make sure we leave room for Jesus, alright?

*Yes, it’s Yuzuha next*

Ugh, Big Brother… Tarua told me this would be fun and I should participate, but… I don’t really think I’m good with this kind of thing…



I want to dance with you like this forever, Big Brother… If I get better at dancing, will you dance more with me?

Of course.

I’m glad…

*Let’s go to Lillith now*

Oooh, the tempo of this dance is so fast, I can hardly keep up. Itsuki, please dance more slowly.

Just move at your own pace, Lillith. We’ll stick to that.

Itsuki, thank you for matching my pace. You’re always so kind to me…



I don’t really care if Lillie likes him. Lillie can get bent.

But, I think, more than Lillie, I…

Hm? What is it?

No, it’s nothing. Nothing at all…

*Finally, it’s Collette*

Um, Itsuki… This is an embarrassing diversion, don’t you think? Also, you’re… You’re pathetically bad at dancing. And that makes me 100% more clumsy being with you!

Does that really matter? We’re friends.

That… is a big mistake… I don’t think you can summarize our relationship with just the one word.





Thank god that’s done with. Okay, I’ll put everyone out of their misery now (everyone presently reading this I mean. Those of you reading this in the future probably skipped to the next update ages ago).

Next update we finally get cracking on the final bonding events. It’s gonna be fun on a bun!



Mostly.