Part 5: Episode 1: We're Foreboding
Episode 1: We're Foreboding
Welcome to the fabled Part 2! We were left with a cliffhanger that
All right, let's just pause it right there.
This key is the one in the doctor is talking about. A brass key with a ceramic unicorn on top. This is somehow native american in origin. Now, I can't expect everyone to be experts in tribal art or mythology, and this was an ancient time before things like google. Even then, this is kind of basic stuff. Cliffy's writing says we found this:
When we actually have this:
Considering how often it gets brought up in the game, and considering that this key is supposedly the big plot device that leads Tyler on this retarded journey, you'd think Cliffy would spend the five minutes it would take to find something more appropriate from an encyclopedia. But enough nitpicking. We have a lot more stupidity to cover!
The only way you and Terry could have constructed this monstrosity is from the funds your father left you when he died. It's where you go when you want to be alone. The outside of the fort isn't kept as nicely as the inside, you don't have enough money for the landscapers to come yet.
I'm too worn out over the unicorn thing to point out the awful, almost Escher-like perspective on the fort. I think it's a single wall that's being propped up by the angled corner.
Your fort is the only place you can go to get away from everyone else and THEIR problems. You feel as if you'd go crazy without it! The wall to the north has a door on it that you locked and lost the key to, the surrounding wall has various stolen highway markers and rock posters on it.
Starting to get the feeling that Tyler might be a sociopath. It might explain how he killed the 9ft housecat to use as a rug. We can check out a few of the decorations for some shilling.
It's too bad you can't have a game as amazing as Jill of the Jungle on your Super Sweeney Whateverthefuckthisjokeisover. There's a ladder below the cat head, but Cliffy won't let us down there until we talk to Terry. And Terry, for god's sake, put your arm down! The TV isn't even on.
Terry! You were in my dream last night! It was so odd!
You were in mine, also!!! I saw you in some weird blue field, right? This is very strange...
What is this key you told me about? it was in the dream also.
It's some old indian key, I read about it on my CD-ROM encyclopedia. It's supposed to have incredible powers, so I hit it inside our secret lab.
How do we use the key, and should we use it?
Just insert into any lock, turn, and POOF! You're in your mind. Yes, your imagination. I doubt it'll work... Let's try it out on the door here!
Again with the Indian- no, I'm going to let it drop. And let Tyler drop. Drop into the basement.
Dust and mold coat the walls of the underground lab. This is where Terry comes to do his Mad Scientist work. Boring books fill the bookcase, and a green poker light bathes the oak table in a luminescent glow. Strange blue clay makes up the floor of the lab. Once, the light went out, and the floor glowed in the dark, creating a funky 70's style dance floor. The table was inherited from your great uncle Vinnie. Vinnie was a mobster who was gunned down during a vacation to Niagra Falls one summer.
Grasping the key in your hand sends a rush of emotion through you, and you almost cry for no reason. The unicorn is made of some type of ceramic, the key looks as if it's pure gold. However, it is warm, as if it's just been held...
The indian unicorn key that is white ceramic with purple paint and a gold-like metal key. Right.
Yup, this is the same key from last night. As it shines in the light you appreciate the gentle heat it produces.
Let's just get the hell out of here before more blocks of narrative drop on me.
And with a turn of the magical indian unicorn key we find ourselves in...
...My own personal Hell. There is a stick and a piece of fruit we can get. Considering how much text Tyler's clubhouse had, this stick should be fascinating.
Right. Well... well, maybe the item description has more?
It's a stick. What more do you want?
...Oh. And the fruit:
The lemon-like fruit seems to glow with life. It smells vaguely of cinnamon.
We can move to the right, the top-left, or inside the barn. Let's go to the right.
A path made up of green stones leads off into the wilderness. On your right is a tree with a face on its trunk, and outside of the path are ore trees like it. The path continues east.
There's a path in between some of those trees in the background. Let's take that.
That is just too dark and foreboding for Cliffy to let us pass. We press on to the east.
The path continues uphill towards parts unknown, while two interesting characters down below anxiously look around, as if expecting something to happen at any moment. A pile of rocks approximately the size of your head sits on the pathway. On top of the rocks sits a large femur-shaped bone.
Hi, I'm Tyler. Who are you guys?
<BoneHead> I'm BoneHead, you idiot. Now go away. <CementHead> Shut up!!! I'm CementHead. Nice to meet you, Tyler.
Why is this roadblock here???
<CementHead> To prevent travelers from going into Hell...er... the NiteMare. <BoneHead> DON'T LIE, YOU DORK! We were bored, do we decided to cause some havoc. Has it worked???
What can you tell me about the NiteMare?
<BoneHead> Oh, it's just such a pretty place. Flowers, birds, <CementHead> HEY! It is most certainly NOT a nice place. It is horrible. We don't want ANYONE going there, including YOU, the one who created us!!! Okay?
Okay. So we can't move on until we get rid of these jerks, and their tiny, easy-to-climb roadblock. On the plus side, check out what I found in the pile of rocks under BoneHead:
It looks like a prescription container. The label is worn out, however you can read 'INKING AND OWING ILL. SE ONLY AS IRECTE. MAY BE ZERDOUS TO GNANT OMEN.'
Clearly, we'll have to ink and owe some omens next time.