Part 12For those of you who don't like video, here's what happened in the hypnosis session.
Mike awakens in the Dark World. However, there's background noise like a party.
(Note the things above are from the UI of Darkseed 1.)
Mike: I feel so dizzy... This reunion banquet is giving me a headache. I need some fresh air.
Rita: You always need fresh air, Mike. I swear I don't know what's happened to you since you move away from here, and frankly, I don't like it.
Mike: C'mon, Rita. Give me a break. You know I've been... sick.
Rita: Sick of people, you mean. You've become such a loner, Mike. You never want to go anywhere where there's people. You never even want to meet any of my friends.
Mike: Not your reading group again. You're always busy with stuff at the library. You never have any time to spend with me anymore. Why can't it be like it was in high school?
Rita: People change, Mike. But I don't care for the change that's come over you. You're drunk. I'll see you later. I have a friend to see.
With that, Rita storms off... clumsily.
Mike: Fine. Just walk away. I hope the Boogeyman gets you... whew, why am I so dizzy? I think the punch is spiked.
After feeling down about that "boogeyman" zinger, Rita turns.
Rita: Is someone there? Don't play games. Mike, is that you?
A hole appears and Rita... um... screams?
Yikes, they really need better actors.
And falls into that brown river.
Mike: I was in the Dark World again. It was so strange!
Dr. Sims: The Dark World again, huh? Hmmm, it probably represents what you consider evil... an internal conflict perhaps.
Mike: I was wrong about this hypnosis stuff. I'd like to do it some more.
Dr. Sims: I'm glad it's working for you, Mike, but it looks like our time is up. If the headache comes back, we'll try more hypnosis.
Mike: Can't we talk some more? I really think we're onto something.
That's some top-notch psychiatry there. Oh well. Time to go visit Slim! He'll know what to do. Head to that shed behind the pool hall where we got the hanger, and...
...Mike, the guy's wearing a fucking boy scout outfit, for God's sake. Who else would live here?
You're asking him for advice?!
Mike: Tell you what, Slim. Why don't you follow up on your theories, and I'll pursue my own.
Slim: Good idea, Mr. Dawson. We'll compare notes later. See you in the funny papers.
We're not done, somehow, though. Let's talk to him again.
Mike: I hate to admit it, Slim, but I need some leads in the Rita Scanlon murder.
Slim: I've been looking into a political connection, so I went over to the library where Rita worked, and sure enough, there are pictures of JFK all over the place!
Slim: I'm wondering if Rita knew about the assassination, and somebody wanted to shut her up for good!
Mike: Uh, that's a very interesting theory, Slim. I'll have to give it some thought.
Slim: You do that, Mr. Dawson, and I'll let you know if I turn up anything.
Slim: I've been checking up on that carnival in the park near where Rita was killed. Seems that a lot of children go in but never come out. There's got to be a connection with Rita! I mean, she was a child once, wasn't she?
Thank fucking God, we've talked to enough people (sigh, for now) to unlock the carnival! At this point, I'm begging to pixel hunt for bobby pins compared with the chore that this game has been so far.
Alright. To the carnival!
Hey, you know what would make this game awesome? Talking! Let's do some more!
To keep in character, I had Mike choose the wimpiest answers possible.
Mike: What's the most interestings thing to see?
Clown: Go to the sideshow, behind the carousel, to the left. We have a boring weightlifting act, some phoney baloney fortune teller, and a pair of neurotic Siamese twins. I'm sure you'll have a blast.
Mike: You don't have to be so rude, you know?
Clown: Well, excuse me. Look, pal, I've been coughing up my lungs all day.
Clown: So why don't you just cough up a ticket, and we can put an end to this delightful little conversation right now!
Mike: What? Are you sick or something?
Clown: Good guess, Einstein. You ought to think about going to medicine. Damn straight, I'm sick. But I left my friggin' medicine inside the carnival, and I have to man this stupid ticket booth all day.
Mike: Where is your medicine? Maybe I could get it for you.
Clown: So, you're Albert Schweitzer, too? My medicine's in the cooler in the employee tent. You'll find it behind the carousel to the right.
Mike: I'll get you your medicine right now!
Holy shit, I want to crack Mike Dawson in the face. Let's finally go inside and-
Congratulations! Welcome to the first puzzle of the game! Finally! How do we get into the carnival? You get three guesses!
(By the way, this is an adventure game LP thread and it took us until page 3 to get to the first puzzle.)
Let's look at some recent LP adventure game heroes, shall we?
"You know what would look better on your nose? The bar."
- Ben, Full Throttle
[Equip sickle. Eviscerate.]
- Steve Mason, Harvester
"Here's your lousy ticket!"
- Mike Dawson
Alright. Now let's FINALLY get into the carnival and get this asshole his stupid medicine.
Finally inside. Note the homage to Giger's artwork in the lower left of the screen. Let's head behind the carousel to the right and get this asshole's medicine.
Nothing gets by you, dumbkopf. Head back into the employee tent.
Realistically, there's an anvil on top of the cooler. Lift it and...
Sigh. Or rather *gasp*! Fuck this. Let's head behind the carousel and to the left, this time.
Okay, I know the more astute thread readers - the ones who saw the Darkseed 1 thread - may be chomping at the bit to get to the Hall of Mirrors. I mean, yes, it leads to the Dark World, but no - we can't get to the Giger world yet. I'm sorry. I'm not even saying that facetiously - this game is a fucking chore to play until we get to the Dark World! (It gets better there.)
And hey, more Giger artwork is here, so at least there's that.
Let's go to the sideshow.
Our first attraction is the Siamese twins, Minnie and Daisy. Interesting initials, huh? Let's talk to these strange writing twins.
I think Giger himself would cringe at the threesome I wish Mike were suggesting right now.
Daisy: Say, this guy looks delicious, doesn't he, Minnie?
You did not just fucking ask that.
Minnie: I'm Minnie. This is my sister, Daisy. We're Siamese twins.
Daisy: We're very, very close.
Mike: What do you do at the carnival?
Daisy: We work in the side show! What's it look like? Duh!
Minnie: Please, Daisy, don't be rude! The gentleman may be interested to know that besides working at the side show, we also designed the Hall of Mirrors.
Mike: That's interesting - side show performers designing one of the attractions.
Minnie: It was appropriate for us - what with us being mirror images of each other. Have you seen it yet? You should go.
Daisy: It's fiendishly clever. You may never return.
Mike: Did you design anything else at the carnival?
Daisy: I wanted to put in a peep-show, but Miss Pure-As-Snow here won't allow it.
Minnie: Oh Daisy, all you think about is sex, sex, sex. If I let you have your way, you'd open up a bordello!
Mike: I need to get the clown's medicine, but it's trapped under an anvil. Can you help?
Minnie: Oh dear. You might try asking Gargan the strongman next door. He can probably lift it for you.
Mike: What are you writing?
Minnie: I'm addressing these postcards. We're sending them to famous people all over the world.
Daisy: I'm writing the text of the postcards. We write to everyone. Jack the Ripper, Lizzie Borden, Genghis Khan.
Minnie: And I'm addressing this one to Charles Dickens. What's your name? Maybe we can send one to you.
Mike: Everyone you are writing to is dead. Do they ever, uh, write back?
Minnie: Yes. Voices come into our heads. I always hear from women...
Daisy: ...and I always hear from men. Too bad none of them sound as young and virile as you, sweet buns.
Mike: Where do you send these post cards? To the dead letter office?
Minnie: Oh, that's very funny, sir! No, we send them to the local morgue. I'm sure they know where to forward them.
Daisy: So, come on, hon. What's your name?
Weird. Daisy only hears from men - a man (or a male voice) told her to build a hall of mirrors. Apparently a female told Minnie to mail you a key. But she made a mistake...
Daisy: Haven't you caused enough trouble already? We've got nothing more to say to you. Get out!
Mike: Minnie, are you all right?
Daisy: Haven't you caused enough trouble already? We've got nothing more to say to you. Get out!
And so ends the usefulness of Minnie and Daisy. Let's head farther left into the sideshow...
Alright, a weightlifting dude! Awesome. All he does is pick up the free weights, lift them, put them down and repeat. Great act!
Do we get to talk more? You bet your ass.
I pray to God that Mike Dawson has a fucking embryo in his brain again, because he's asking the sideshow people the dumbest questions possible.
Gargan: I lift and juggle barbells, and perform other amazing feats of strength. Enjoy my act while you can. I'll probably lose my job soon.
Mike: Why would you lose your job?
Gargan: I can't draw a crowd. They all go to see the Siamese twins, or the fortune teller. There's just no interest in my talents - not when you can rent Arnold or Sly at the video store for a buck. [OP's note: Wait until he hears about Netflix]
Mike: C'mon, Mr. Gargan! There's no reason to be so depressed! Life's not so bad!
Gargan: Oh yeah? Obviously you didn't hear about the missing box office money. People are just plain no good. Now, stop interrupting me!
Gargan goes back to lifting, but I'm not done with him.
Gargan: I'm in the middle of my act! What do you want?
Mike: I need some help. Could you lift an anvil off an ice-chest for me?
Gargan: Sorry, but I'm not in the mood to help anyone. I take some lousy pills my doctor gave me, but they don't do any good. I'm washed up, and I know it.
Mike: Is there anything I can do for you, Mr. Gargan?
Gargan: You can stop pretending to feel sorry for me. I know that no one really gives a damn. Now, let me go on with my act while I still have a job!
Alright, no argument there. Let's go deeper into the sideshow.