The Let's Play Archive

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by Lasher


Ok, in an effort to make the most of this LP I've started recording the fights and uploading the raw footage to dailymotion. This means they look a bit sloppier but so long as you don't mind seeing my dashboard disappear before the fight it should be cool.

Right. So when we left off we were going to go sign Redman to our label! But before that I was going to go buy some new duds. But damn! We're flat broke. We poured EVERY penny we had into our investments. So we're doing this in our fancy clothes. Oh it's only Sean Paul causing us trouble again on the best stage...


The rooftop is the best level in my opinion. Mainly because the colours stay relatively toned down and having the lights in the buildings as the equalizer is pretty fucking cool as opposed to a house jumping.

Although the media doesn't mention how I had to beat the fuck out of someone. Weird.

Sweet. Time to take our cut of his wages too.

Redman will net us a lot more money I think so we'll bump this up to 35% We don't want to take TOO much or he'll get pissed with us.

We check our e-mails and there's one from that vapid cunt of a girlfriend wanting MORE money and one from Redman talking about his uncles hospital bill. We cannot afford to pay either so now Redman is pissed with us. Shit. We'll have to be EXTRA nice from now on.

Sticky also gives us a call telling is that T.I. is going to be dissing Mr. Carver at his next show and I quote, "Word is T.I. has 120 bars to spit against Carver!" Well damn. I don't know what a bar is but 120 is a lot. I best go sort him out. I also hope you like the new neckbeard and pink shoes.

DJ Assault - Ass N Titties

When we get back there's an idle thread on our voicemail from T.I. Something along the lines of, "I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, GADGET!" And a mysterious e-mail from a withheld user... I heard those rhymes T.I. was going to use and they weren't about Carver. They were dissing Sticky. You oughta watch out. Folks might think you're working for HIM!

Then another mail. A real one this time from Mr. Carver.
Yo, what the fuck is up? Another set of unreleased samples on the street? That's twice in one week. What the fuck is going on? It's starting to reflect on the brand now and you're fucking up money!

Shit, this is MY fault apparently. Luckily Sticky tells us he knows who's leaking the samples. Some schlub called Big herc. He's down the club. yes THAT club. The same club we've been going every week.

Oh, that bird dumped us for not spending thousands of dollars on her every day. God job too. She wasn't even that hot.

Coburn - We interrupt this program(Jean Claude Ades remix}

That fight was over before the song even kicked in. See Big Herc landed DIRECTLY under a hot spot where lights fall from the ceiling and when that happens half an energy bar can be sapped depending on how frantic the song is. Hence why I dragged it out so you could get a feel for the track a bit. It's a good song. That mix is a bit long though.

Mr. Carver then texts us and tells us not everyone wants to be friends for the right reasons. Either that or Carver is just a huge prick who likes snubbing random friendly gestures. But it turns out Big Herc wasn't the root of the problem... But Troy Dolla wants to speak to us in his Penthouse suite...

Fragmaster - F-Zero rant

Again the media makes no mention about how I MURDERED A MAN to get this promotion. But I'm not worried. Mr. Carver told me he's set me up with a new pad...




This is glorious. No more anime wallscrolls. No more stained sheets. No more fungus on the walls! NERDSHOE HAS MADE IT, FOLKS!

But wait... There's a message flashing on the phone. It's from Sticky Fingaz.
Yeah don't think this is over! I'm gunning for you now, home boy!

But I disticntly remember throwing him down a lift shaft!


Troy Dolla's gift. Video form.