IntroductionSo basically sometime in China, this guy wrote a really big book about the fall of the Han Dynasty called Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Although it's a good book and all, we will be playing the too long; didn't read RPG version, as I never got into the SRPG version, or whatever it's supposed to be.
Unfortunately, the Megaman sticker will not be included in this LP, as I am a cheap bastard.
Destiny of an Emperor came out in NA in 1990, and naturally being about an obscure piece of history for North America, it was sort of an obscure game itself. Although it is as linear as a piece of uncooked spaghetti, and has other issues with balance and whatnot, it provides a decent summery of the book- ..well at least until midway where things begin to go to outer space. It also has a pretty cool soundtrack that I urge you all to give a listen to, in which I will supply the music.
Liu Bei- A village brat who grew up with his strict mother, and is the descendant of some Marquis, so therefore has to save the empire. Facial hair not included in this game.
Zhang Fei- A local drunkard who thinks he knows what he's talking about. Good side is that he has the brawn to back it up, which is what the team needs.
Guan Yu- A guy who got kicked out of his town for killing some other guy, and somehow ended up in Liu Bei's back water town. He has a really manly beard, and that's all you really need to know about him.
So without further ado...
Table of Contents
- Chapter I: The Oath in Mrs. Liu's Kitchen
- Chapter II: Killing Things With Fire: Totally Not a Contemporary Concept
- Chapter III: Sinkholes are Awesome Plot Devices
- Chapter IV: No Such Thing as Peace
- Chapter V: Lu Who?
- Chapter VI: Perpetual Blitzkrieg
- Chapter VII: Lu Bu is Destined to Disappoint and Anger
- Chapter VIII: Outlaws of the Snowfield
- Chapter IX: The Revenge Campaign Co-Led By the Guy Who Died
- Chapter X: There Is Nothing Romantic About These Three Kingdoms
- Chapter XI: Asian Smart
- Chapter XII: Romance of the Three.. Rivers?
- Chapter XII.5: Hellish Caves
- Chapter XIII: Bam! Generation Two Outta Nowhere!
- Chapter XIV: Yet Another Case of Aquaphobia in an RPG
- Chapter XV: Journey to the South
- Chapter XVI: The Big Day
- Chapter XVII: The Beginning of the Canon Story's Trip to Outer Space
- Chapter XVIII: This Game Automatically Just Got A Little Bit More Heavy Metal
- Chapter XIX: Sun Zi's Art of Dancing
- Chapter XX: China is in the Shape of a Horribly Disfigured Doughnut
- Chapter XXI: Shut Up, Sima Yi
- Epilogue: Welcome to the International Space Station