Part 8: Chapter VIII: Outlaws of the SnowfieldChapter VIII: Outlaws of the Snowfield
"Go home, Liu Bei. You're obviously no threat to me."
Wowowow, Persian King Xerxes has nothing on this bitch.
After various hazy events with or without Yuan Shao gleefully skipping away, thus sparing the party and most possibly laughing like a little girl after killing Liu Feng, the party finds themselves alive and well in the palace.
"Guan Ping, you must make a decision. Will you pursue Yuan Shao or stay and settle Jingzhou?"
Here you are actually given a choice to go to an overpowered segment of the game (Jingzhou), or truck on. We opt to clean Yuan Shao up first for plot consistency and to show him how to clean up properly. You also get two amazing people out of this, who make Guan Yu's job much easier.
To march into Jingzhou right off the bat is similar to going to the south-western land at the beginning of Dragon Warrior, and having to backtrack to beat Yuan Shao up after conquering Jingzhou is dumb.
I hope you're pleased with yourself, Lu Bu.
Fortunately the "Phoenix Downs" are rather cheap, so Liu Feng and his army are all pardoned by King Yama rather quickly.
"General. I have a very special key to sell you. I know you'll need. It's yours for just... 4,000 gold pieces."
Why the hell not?
"You'll thank me later."
What's this doing there?
Holy Neptune, the sea god is pleased. It also makes Zhang Fei destroy things almost as efficiently as tactics do, and he can attack anyone without fear of his attack missing.
Yuan Shu was such a cold man in this game that the minute you enter his territory, you are buffeted by blizzards and white tiles of snow.
So it would make sense that his lair would be deeper into the snowy territory.
"Run home and tell Liu Bei how terrible Lu Guang is."
As in statistically terrible.
He comes with a half assed tactician if that accounts for anything? He knows Ye Huo (a hit all fire tactic) which Zhang Fei has problems blocking, so that's always exciting.
Lastly, filler, because Rebel Forces just don't cut it for numbers any more.
I don't even care if it doesn't hit the tactician, as long as the other two generals are taking the hits, Zhang Fei can deal with everything else with splendid ease.
I see Bohai has an excellent shoveling program, unlike my town, which just got 21cm of snow dumped on it as I write this.
"Have you been to the cave in the west?"
"A man called Dan Fu is said to live there."
"Xu Zhe, Xu Zhe, Xu Zhe. That's all she thinks about. She stands there all day long blocking the bridge so no one can cross."
But why does she have to hold up traffic because she has problems? Women.
"You are seeking Xu Zhe? He's a wanted man so now he goes by the name of Dan Fu."
Who apparently lives in a cave, and is the only one aggressive enough to tell the lady on the bridge to "move."
"Liu Feng. Do you remember me? Shui Jing [the pot guy]. By the way, did you go to the cave yet?"
Uh, sure, yep, definitely so.
"The road is blocked by debris, isn't it? Use this powder to clear a path."
Liu Feng received Black Powder.
Wow what a jerk, intending to send the party to a cave he full well knew was blocked by debris if they said "no".
Oh god, not another dungeon. Somewhere in here (the first ten steps), there is a visible soldier sprite:
"If you want a safe passage through the tunnel, surrender all your belongings. Wait. Who goes there?"
"I'm Liu Feng."
"Oh, sorry. I'm Zhou Cang. I've come here to join Liu Bei's army. Let me join you."
"We will serve you faithfully."
While he got off on the wrong foot, he does have a high STR value to replace Lu Bu for a little bit.
And of course, you can't piss around in a dungeon without having like a million commanders all wanting a piece of you all at once.
They also decide to wander about with large armies to curve the difficulty for shits and giggles.
The trick of this dungeon is that there are no treasures to be found, and the basic, most straightforward passage is actually the path you're supposed to go down, as all the other paths are deception.
Good ol' China.
There are rumbling effects and pink flashes to compliment the hard core explosion, but I guess I missed it.
"I'm Dan Fu, a martial arts devotee. I'm on a quest. May I travel with you?"
"We will serve you faithfully."
Step aside, Li Ru, the new guy's here! We also need him to get that woman to move, so it all works out fantastically.
The amusing part is that if you leave town, come back, she'll manage to wander over to block the bridge again.
"I hear Yuan Shao has a new fortress in the east."
On the other side of the bridge, there's a new helmet, which is worth investing in, seeing as it provides +20 A.C for only 1,000 Gold.
The Great Wall of China is still pretty great, even in 8bit.
We still have some ways to go before we get to stomp on Yuan Shao though.
What "horrors" will await us as we storm this gate? Read on.