Part 19: Chapter XVIII: This Game Automatically Just Got A Little Bit More Heavy MetalChapter XVIII: This Game Automatically Just Got A Little Bit More Heavy Metal
To be honest, there are three battles in this game that begin with an inevitable enemy ambush. I guess the game is just obsessed with showing you Ji Mian, so if by a miracle you didn't see it by now, this is Ji Mian, it sucks.
And this is Cao Pi, he has high stats for a camp battle, but oh well, we can manage easily. He also has an indented chin and a cocky smile, because he's an asshole like that.
This is supposed to be the Grand Marshal of Wei (lol Chi Xin)
Arr! There be a strong warlord who was supposed to be killed way back in Lu Bu days! He also swallowed his own eyeball when he lost it in a battle, which he's quite famous for that.
That's about the most annoying thing that happened in the fight. Nothing better than having to have to maintain defensive moves every turn because the RNG decided that it didn't like you!
"You are stronger than I thought but I'll be back with more men. I recommend you take the opportunity to run."
You so sassy, Cao Pi.
"Runan Castle is protected by general Cao Zhang. I heard he was a mighty general. Don't underestimate him."
And that's really the only interesting thing going on in this camp.
We march all the way back to the city to heal, as there is another bout with Cao Pi coming up, and you bet having lots of TP is central in dealing with him.
There is also a strip of land north of the gate that we just seized that shows this game's grid enemy system. Remember in Dragon Warrior how if you go to the southern mountains, you got horribly gangbanged by tier 4 enemies when you're barely holding against tier 0 enemies? This game does this as well, only to the opposite side of the spectrum.
Here is the world map again, look for He Fei fortress in the north-eastern area of the map. There is a little tab of around four paces in the north-most part of the island, you'll run into these guys there.
In the Japanese version, there is a patch of land just south of the blacksmith in the Riverlands. Here, there are Rebel encounters who have 50,000 troops and usually attack in groups of five, but if you manage to beat them (which isn't too hard thanks to their low INT) you get ~100,000 EXP, thus making the game very easy to max out in levels.
Speaking of geography, the next area consists of a bridge, a diamond shaped island, another bridge and the next castle to seize if you didn't look at the world map.
These are what typical encounters in the area look like though, which can be rather frightening, seeing as this is an area where healing is amazingly sparse, but strong commander fights are plentiful.
He's also supposed to be dead long ago*, but here he is, the buffest guy in Three Kingdoms era China. In this game, he appropriately doesn't have any lines, as he is supposed to be dead, but whatever. At least they were nice enough to give him a custom portrait. I still say it would have been cooler to bring Zhang He here instead of him, as Zhang He is currently prowling around in the north, pledging allegiance to the dead Yuan Shao. Aaanyway, Dian Wei is a rare commander battle, but given the opportunity, it's probably best to recruit him, as then he doesn't show up in a future general battle, but I didn't get lucky this run with recruiting him.
*In an enemy ambush where he was too drunk to do anything, which is pretty awesome and manly.
Cao Pi should have probably tried harder, granted it's sort of a pain to get here in one piece.
"Take them out now before they are ready."
Need I say anything?
It gets even better.
Yeah.. most commander fights in this area are much harder than this general battle. As usual, I waste no time and just go all out right away on them.
"Run home and tell Liu Bei how terrible Xiahou Shang is."
Unfortunately, it doesn't get much harder.
Caos and Xiahous everywhere, yup, pretty much sums up Wei on all accounts, I don't really need to say anything else..
Here, I got fancy and used Huo Shen before going all out.
No bridge or cave after this town? Don't tell me we're almost done the game!
"We meet again but this time I'm ready for you."
Clearly, Cao Pi is the real nemesis of this game. The next prime enemy only pulls this ass pull on us once, where Cao Pi pulls it in every fight he's in.
We only see this tactic used on us one more time thankfully.
Did somebody forget to bring their tactics to battle with them?
Did somebody forget to bring their.. GOOD stats with them?
He carbon copies Cao Ang's stats, but with reduced soldiers, but that was obviously the wrong person to try and copy, as subsequently, both are but mere flies on the wall.
This is a surprisingly anti-climatic battle for the end of the first regime of Wei.
OH GOD, SIMA YI, PREPARE YOUR ANUSES.
"Sima Yi, welcome. I'm glad you finally arrived."
"Cao Pi. I must explain why we didn't join you sooner."
DUN DUN DUN.. By the way, Sima Yi is a highly ranked official in Wei. Yeah, he sort of pops out of nowhere in the game, but don't feel confused, because he sort of does the same in the book. In general, he excels in being a master of badassery which is displayed by his dramatic entrances, his sassy comments (he has some of the best lines in this game, as well as the sequel) and is known for leading revenge campaigns on people who call him a woman, and a good wife. By the way, during this segment that fabulous "Major Boss" tune plays, while it doesn't when fighting Cao Pi, as Sima Yi is badass and the game really wants you to know that.
"Oh, Sima Yi. You...."
Sima Yi has a pretty sound explanation if you ask me.
"You betrayed me... Treachery! Retreat."
See? If Liu Bei did this from the start, maybe the Yellow Scarf saga would have been over after the third general battle, and so on.
Ugh, I don't want to be there while you try to explain what just happened to your ancestors in hell.
"Zhang Bao. I have killed Cao Pi. I'll give you his head, but I claim Wei for my own. Take the head back to Jianye Castle."
Did I also mention he shoots lightning, because he's FREAKING SIMA YI?
What now? Read on.