Part 107: Orbs Well that Ends Well
Chapter 81 – Orbs Well that Ends Well
No, I said I’m a THESPIAN
The Taming of the Goblin
Orbs Well that Ends Well
Bonus: Ruining the Play
Bonus: The Food Critic Unmasked
Video: No, I said I’m a THESPIAN
(Kathy) We shall now proceed, my sisters one in purpose and one-to-be in blood, to summon Astaroth who shall engender our might.
(Kathy) Answer now the three queries that will bring his majesty forth. Tell this Duke of Hell why we seek his favour. 
(Yara) We ask him to honour us with the conception of his offspring. Tell this Prince of Night how our loins will sport him sovereignty. His many-fanged children will find no mortal they cannot conquer. Show this King of Brimstone we have knowledge of the incantation that may draw him from the Pit. Ummm… ummmm… Undying Astaroth the Mighty Horned One, we hereby command thee to come forth and bless us! Hark! The smell of sulphur! Astaroth draws near!
(Alfred) Good show, good show! Encore! What a performance, friend! You behold a prodigy of the dramatic, my good man. It has been a great pleasure to behold your histrionic prowess and for that I gladly give you what riches I have to offer!
“All the After World’s a Stage” complete! Quest Reward: 6211 XP, 1300 Gold, Skill Book. Bonus Chosen: 3105 XP, 1300 Gold.
Finally, we can get into the Dressing Room now.
(Mara) Here now, a live one! I’m Mara, stranger. Pleased to meet you. You were an actress too, I assume. Aye! And make-up artist and costume designer. That’s the real tragedy, though: to create nice clothes and now being an ugly ghost. The only thing that can make me pretty now is a big, beautifully embroidered sheet. Please, Divine, don’t make me have to find a sheet for her.
(Lucian) It wouldn’t be the oddest thing an adventurer has fetched. But a ghost under a sheet… that’s so last century. Did you see my performance, Mara? I did indeed! What a gift you have! You must have been acting all your life. In fact you were so good, I bet you of all people could portray a convincing Dragon Slayer!
(Behrlihn) (-7500 XP) Eternity as a ghost among amateur players in a mediocre play. This death is remarkably like life. Your son-in-law Ransid would like your earrings so he can save himself from starvation. Starvation? The lout will spend their worth on gambling and worse in Evelyn’s … house of ill repute. Near well drove my daughter to madness, the knave, until she fell down some stairs and broke her neck, the poor girl. But I suppose he can have the damned earrings if he needs them. Here’s hoping the liquor they’ll buy him will see him drowned in his own vomit! I’ll leave you to your haunting. But what is there to haunt?The Dragon Knight left the playhouse and headed to give Mara's earrings to Ransid.
Video: The Taming of the Goblin
(Ransid) Did you go to the playhouse? Do you have the earrings? Here they are, enjoy. Gods bless ya, Dragon Knight! With these I can go to Madam Eve’s! And… buy bread, of course! “Jewellery in Law” complete! Quest Reward: 5632 XP, 900 Gold. Bonus Chosen: 2815 XP.
(Kaan) My Draconic customer returns. Let’s see the gold and precious stones! Would you happen to have traditional goblin weaponry in stock? Mmmm… such things are forbidden in Aleroth, but for a few gold pieces I might… accidentally find some hatchets and armour. No problem. Here you go. (11000 Gold.) Wonderful! The gold coins, here their sweet rustling! It is indeed a great pleasure to do business with you! Would you know where I can get a goblin energy orb? Why of course, by totems! I have one right here. I’d like to buy that energy orb of yours. It will be my pleasure! And all I ask is a modest price in gold! Here you go. (5687 Gold.) And here is the item you desire. May it serve you well! Goodbye, Kaan. I’ll go see those goblin brothers now.
The unfortunate part is the 16687 gold you hand over is not added to Kaan’s trading inventory, so you can’t recoup it by selling him stuff. Nor does mind-reading him affect the price you have to pay.
(Vito) Fascinating stuff, Dragon Knight, fascinating! A true triumph for science!
Here you go: genuine goblin weapons and armour!
(Earab) Praise be the totems! We shall sacrifice our slain enemies in honour of the Dragon! 
(Nathirap) We will don our cleavers and breast plates and so convince the Captain! Follow us, friend! Your word will certainly serve to sway him!
(Aquila) Is there more you need? Look at Earab and Nathirap here. Don’t they look ready for combat not? My word, so they do! A miraculous change of appearance, I must say! We are ready, Captain, to stand by the Champions and defend the Healer’s City and her tribe! Good! Your first order is to patrol this street alongside my soldiers. Go on then, may your gods give you strength and courage! Yes sir! May death be quick and cruel for all of the Black Ring! “Brothers in Arms” complete! Quest Reward: 6211 XP, 1300 Gold, Skill Book. Bonus Chosen: 3105 Gold, Legendary Earrings (+10 Magic Damage, +2 Summon Demon). And so, Aleroth once again slowly moves back to the time when all – well, most of the races gathered there in harmony. I have fond memories of that village of healers. … Speaking of which, Dragon Knight, are you ever going to give that Healing Orb for Peter that you promised to get for him ages ago.
Oh crap! Forgot about that!Video: Orbs Well that Ends Well
(Peter) Ah, do you have the Orb? I do, and I met someone with a deadly disease in the process. Oh, thank you so much! At least there’ll be one Champion that lives to fight another day, unlike the unfortunate Kelton. Not even Deodatus could help the poor creature, and how could he when not even these Source-given orbs proved effective? Actually I did cure Kelton. It seems that a Demon had cursed him. My word! I killed the demon and gave some of his blood to Kelton, and that cured the curse immediately. Remarkable! Have you ever considered becoming a Healer, Dragon Knight? No. “First Aid” complete! Quest Reward: 4873 XP, 600 Gold. Bonus Chosen: 2435 XP. One more orb to deliver, at the Phoenix Inn.
(Tiffany) Oh, you have returned! Er… welcome, welcome! Do you sell pearl necklaces, by any chance? I’m very sorry, but I have no such jewels in stock, O Dragon Knight. I am quite heartbroken I cannot oblige. I must go.
(Bedwyr) Can’t wait to see my trusty machines pump again! I found a goblin energy orb. So let’s get to work. You are a true blessing! Now let’s hope I haven’t lost my knack for the art of enchanting! “Fire ‘Em Up” complete! Quest Reward: 5632 XP, 900 Gold. Bonus Chosen: 2815 XP.
Level 41!I forgot to allocate my attributes until much later.
(Bourdain) Ah, mon ami, you have found some Gorgombert? Not yet, sadly. How unfortunate! Have you at least uncovered the identity of the food critic? Good news. The food critic is most assuredly Anona. I hope you are right! Mon dieu, my career depends on it! And if now you’ll find me some Gorgombert, the cooking can begin! Dragon Knight, I am well aware of how easy it is to get distracted with all kinds of quests, but I doubt you’ll find one of the clues you seek in a wheel of cheese. Perhaps you should take a more active role? Well, you could have said the same thing about a healer’s basement. But you’re right. I’ll see if the Great Market conceals another of the rune handles Bellegar has been hiding. I’m surer than ever that it’s not a coincidence that he started planting them about the same time as Zandalor stripped the shield from Behrlihn’s prison. Anona and Snister were tied at two votes each, so I decided to go with the correct answer. Yep, it was indeed the least-likely seeming answer.
That’s the alley I arrived in Aleroth in. Huh. Back when I was first here, there wasn’t anything… wait…
The last rune handle!
(Valeri) You want to know more about these runes, don’t you? From left to right, what do the runes depict? The first rune depicts an uncommon variety of the now-extinct human Bear Tooth Clan that means cat or kitten. The second rune… Ah, that would be the goblin Red Hammer tribe rune for totem. So is the third one. As for the fourth... Ancient Draconic, this one. You should know it, no? It means ‘Maxos’. The fifth rune is the Bear Clan ‘kitten’ rune again. Thank you, you’ve been very helpful. Good day! And you, Dragon Knight!
Let’s see what secrets you hold…
No, I said I’m a THESPIAN
The Taming of the Goblin
Orbs Well that Ends Well
Bonus: Ruining the Play
Bonus: The Food Critic Unmasked
Maps
Order of the Viper Set Bonuses
Order of the Viper Helmet: +20 Ranged Armour Rating
Order of the Viper Cuirass: +15 Vitality
Order of the Viper Bracers: +15 Strength
Order of the Viper Belt: +20 Magic Armour Rating
This is the only quest in the game you can’t do as a male character.
(Alfred) As I live and breathe no more, a mortal! It has been long since one has deemed out theatre worthy of a visit!
(Mr. Yara) Hard to draw a crowd when you’re invisible to most. The show must go on, friend, always! If I can find some decent actors, that is… Now here’s a thought: why don’t you step in? We’re playing ‘Chambers of Blood’. I’m sure you’re familiar with the text. Er… Yes! Yes, of course! Well done! Whenever you’re ready then. Just say the word! I think I’m ready to perform! Not entirely. Please come back when you look a bit more… feminine. An illusionist should be able to take care of that.And you have to go get your gender changed before you can take the stage.
Bonus: Ruining the Play
(Kathy) Answer now the three queries that will bring his majesty forth. Tell this Duke of Hell why we seek his favour. (Yara) We want him to give us the honour of bearing his heirs. Tell this Prince of Night how our loins will sport him sovereignty. His Demonic spawn will be found to be unyielding and invincible. Show this King of Brimstone we have knowledge of the incantation that may draw him from the Pit. Deathless Astaroth with Sturdy Tail, we now ask thee to flee Hell and come to our aid! Hark! The smell of sulphur! Astaroth draws near! (Alfred) That was an … admirable piece of theatre… for an amateur. You don’t sound very convinced. Well, at least you didn’t summon a Demon that killed us a second time, but other than that… er… good day to you! (Kathy) Answer now the three queries that will bring his majesty forth. Tell this Duke of Hell why we seek his favour. (Yara) His foul breath will empty the cities and leave us queens of no-man’s land. Tell this Prince of Night how our loins will sport him sovereignty. We’ll build an army, because Astaroth’s desire will put the rabbits to shame. Show this King of Brimstone we have knowledge of the incantation that may draw him from the Pit. One, two, three: Astaroth is free! Hark! The smell of sulphur! Astaroth draws near! (Alfred) What was that? Never have I seen a lay histrion produce such horse manure! You never even read the play, did you? Well I could lie and say: “Yes, but of course I did!” // So how about a reward? Silence! You are a blemish upon my stage that only your blood may erase!The entire theatrefull of ghosts turns hostile and we have to kill them to open up the Dressing Room.
(Kathy) Show this King of Brimstone we have knowledge of the incantation that may draw him from the Pit. Astaroth Dux magnus et fortis, prodiens angelica specie turpissima, insidensque in dracone inferanli, et viperam portans manu dextra.
No! What did you do? The Blutsporn edition… Astaroth is back!Everyone fights everyone! The Ghosts and Astaroth try to kill us, and each other. Fun times! Astaroth is level 38.
I finish Astaroth with my brand-new Level 5 Fatality skill.
(Mara) Here now, a live one! I’m Mara, stranger. Pleased to meet you. Did you see my performance, Mara? (try, but fail) I did indeed! Not the best acting job I ever say, but it’s still better than what I usually have to witness here. And if you don’t believe me, just you watch their sing along rendition of “Three Drunk Harlots on a Bouncing Carousel”! (screw up on purpose) I did indeed! Don’t worry about it though: Alfred was always a hot-tempered man. And dumb enough to attack one of your calibre to boot! (summon Astaroth) I did indeed! How very naughty of you to use the Blutsporn edition again! Not that I mind, mind you! At least now I don’t have to listen to them botch up another rehearsal. Assohoth… What amateurs!Reader Participation:
1. The Assassins’ Guild sent their most feared member after Willy: a lawyer! They aren’t there to kill him – they’re here to take his house. On Willy’s side, they have a dubious contract, which would be unlikely to stand up in a fair court of law. On the other side, Willy must have tried to rip them off (or someone he ripped off hired them), and he really has this coming.
a) Side with the assassins.
b) Side with Willy.
As if I can’t guess.