Part 22: Bandit Camp

Chapter 13 –Bandit Camp



Goblin Hamlet
To Bandit Camp
Bandit Camp
Noryfundus


I decided to stop by Broken Valley to check for new items. The stores only change their items after you level up. If you go to town after you get your creature, the guards comment.

You tamed Naberius' creations, didn't you? Maybe now those beasts will stop running amok in the valley.

That seems to be a slightly mild reaction to a massacre accidentally caused by the local necromancer.

Goblins can drop body parts for our creature, but we’ll basically get all of our body parts from random loot. Yes, Merchants will buy rotting limbs.

The merchant Lamotte has unique items, but I didn’t mention them because they were level 10.



I bought the Adventurer’s Band for the Regenerate bonus. Regenerate is actually a level 15 skill. Wearing this increases my health regeneration from 0.5% per second to 0.71%.

I also bought some potion formulas – The Rank 1 Limited Strength and Limited Full Resistance (Armour), and the Rank 3 Healing potion.





Video: Goblin Hamlet


Instead of going across the bridge towards the west valley, Yara headed left, towards the tower.




The stone bridge had long since crumbled, but a wooden one had been put together. The tower was guarded by a group of skeletons.

(Yara) _{The gate is locked. Oh darn, we’re not getting in.}
(Talana) _{You could have jumped to one of those openings even as a Slayer. You’re not fooling anyone you know.
Hey look, some more goblins.}

Music: Goblin Village







_{A teleporter shrine, and another mystery lever.
You don’t know what it does, and you’re pulling it anyway?
Gee, I’m sorry, I completely forgot about the instruction manual for this lever. It must be around here somewhere. Do you see it? No? Golly!}






This chest contains an item for a non-official quest.



On the piece of paper is written a single word in a language you do not understand: ‘Gamol’. Maybe someone can decipher it for you.

There are four of these parchments in specific chests around here. I’ll get two this update, but I’m saving the others for later.


At this point I stopped and did another dungeon before picking the update up again. I swapped out some gear.





Yara’s Current Auras

• Static Charge Aura – Enemies have an 18% chance of suffering 1 shock of 18 magic damage.
  
• Retribution Aura – 12% chance of retaliations of 12% damage received.
  
• Poison Aura – 10% chance of 36 poison damage over 3 seconds.
  
• Poison Aura – 7% chance of 4 poison damage over 3 seconds.
  
• Magic Damage Aura – 5% Chance of 1 shock of 20 damage
  

Music: A New Dawn



Video: To Bandit Camp




_{Quite a lot of bandits. And they didn’t even ask if I knew the password. It could have saved their lives. Oh well, fewer for the New Order to clean up.}

Level 11. I do the usual 1/1/2 Vitality/Spirit/Strength.

Unarmed


Rank 3 -> 4, Damage: +29% -> +54%








(Willy) Slayer! You’re ready to buy now, I’m sure of it!
(-400 XP) _{Soon I’ll be even richer! Though I should remove my stash from among them no-good goblins by the mines.}
I’m still not interested.
Come on – I’m offering you some great deals! There’s Folo’s house and the possibility to build a brand new one! So what will it be, eh?
No deal, Willy.
I can’t believe it! Of course you want a house! Just tell me which one!
You won’t take a hint, will you?
You won’t, Slayer, you won’t! Next time you’ll buy from me. Such an opportunity you waste!

_{That man is trying my patience.
And you’re trying mine. Let’s call it even and go to Lovis’ Tower.}

I’ll save a game before we meet Willy for the last time and buy a house, but I’m not going to let you vote on whether I throw 1500 gold into the privy or not. I’m strapped for cash and haven’t had much luck with random loot.








_{This must be the mine. I think… let me check my map… Yeah, I’ve passed the bandit camp. Well, while I’m here I’ll get the teleporter shrine at least.}

Yara headed back the way she came. Off to her left she noticed a man pacing about arguing with himself. The most alarming thing was that he was swinging his axe at nothing.






(Eugene – Jackal) Watch out you! I’ve got an axe!
Careful there, Eugene! You look like you’re about to lop your own head off!




(Eugene – Clyde) He might well do so one day! Calm down, you maniac!
(Jackal) Shut yer claptrap. I’ll swing axes all day if I like!
Uhm, how many of you are in there?
(Clyde) I’m Clyde and that steel-wielding miscreant calls himself Jackal. But to make things easier we decided, after one hand squishing the other for a few hours, to go by the name of Eugene.
I can think of a few social situations that must be awkward.
(Jackal) Ain’t that the truth! Try living with prissy-pants here!
(Clyde) At least I never have to drop the “r” from that description! You have to help us Slayer! This life is unbearable!
How long have you two been sharing a body?
(Clyde) About a month. It seems we were both headed our separate ways when one morning we woke up in one and the same body.
(Jackal) Yeah, been travelling the same spot ever since ‘cause I want to go to Aleroth, and Clyde to that collection of peasant hovels they call a village.
(Clyde) Neither of us knows what happened. We just found a note that says: “Two are one and one is two, so ask yourself now ‘who is who?’”
_{Bellegar! Bellegar! Bellegar!}
How do you figure I can help you?
(Jackal) There must be some brew that will kill off whiny Clyde!
(Clyde) You’re the one with rabies, Jackal! You’re the one that should be put down!



I don’t have time for this ‘happy couple’ business!
(Clyde) But you have to help us, Slayer! I want to be the sole inhibiter of this body, and so does mister mad!
(Jackal) More than anything! Get rid of that straight-laced fob and I’ll give you the magic ring he’d never part with!
(Clyde) No! Remove this vile maniac and that axe of his will be yours!
(Jackal) (-100 XP) _{Shut up! Shut up!}
(Clyde) _{No, no, you shut up!}
(Jackal) _{No, you’re talking to yourself!}
Where should I start to look for a cure?
(Jackal) Don’t rightly know! A goblin shaman could help maybe.
(Clyde) We tried that and you killed him because he, quote, gave you a funny look, unquote.
(Jackal) Who cares about another dead goblin anyway?
(Clyde) You don’t, that’s clear! But anyway, dear Slayer, perhaps you can find a doctor in the village who can help!
I’ll see you two later!
(Jackal) Yeah, bye!
_{A doctor… a doctor… sounds familiar. Where have I met a doctor recently?}


Method or Madness.
This is one of them ethical dilemmas. We can’t separate these two, they were fused through magic far more powerful than normal. The only solution is to destroy one personality at the cost of the other. Both items have the same skill bonus which isn’t normally found on a ring or axe. Unfortunately we can’t use the axe, which will likely skew the vote to the ring, but I’ll still have that vote be open.

Eugene, the axe-wielder was named after the “Careful with that Axe Eugene” song by Pink Floyd.



_{This must be the place.}




The bandit camp is straight ahead. To the left behind some of those beams is a chest with the second piece of parchment.




On the piece of paper is written a single word in a language you do not understand: ‘Miht’. Maybe someone can decipher it for you.





Christopher gives you an attribute point for mind-reading him. This is possibly your only chance because if you take on a quest he gets a new mind-read. I don’t actually know what happens if you go here without knowing the password.

(Christopher) I’ve got an arrow sharp as a Demon’s tooth aimed at yer neck, buddy! You had better be in a mood to tell me what you want!
[+1 Attribute point]
Your wife sent me. You forgot your lunch!
I haven’t had no wife since the day she wouldn’t quit naggin’!
That’s not a healthy attitude you have there. Ever thought about consulting a doctor?
My fingers are starting to slip, funny pants!
Yes, yes, I want to enter the camp! What else did you think I was here for?
No one enters without giving the password!
It’s ‘Beetroot’.
Damn, you know it! I love shooting people through the neck!


Music: Bandit Camp


Video: Bandit Camp


Welcome to the bandit camp. No, I have no idea what that big wall to the right is for. Also, Christopher looks different on the outside than the inside. They recycled so many faces and hairstyles, but they forgot to do that when it actually IS the same guy.

There’s a lot of dialogue from generic bandits that I’m not transcribing, you’ll have to watch the video to see it.




(Christopher) I let ya in, so what more do ya want?
Tell me about the camp.
No! Sling your hook!






(Sybille) Oh, we’ve never seen you here before! Say, are you a romantic person by any chance?

1. Why don’t you let me buy you a bouquet of long-stemmed roses before I answer that question.
3. Let’s see… I do like to bask in the sunset glow as my armour drips in the blood of sadistically slain enemies.

Well, this sure isn’t the setting I was expecting such a question in.
I know and I apologize, it’s just that we…
(Clement) Ahem, the thing is: we want to leave this camp. We’ve had enough of this life. It was all fun and games in the beginning, but now me Sybille’s pregnant and we don’t want our child to grow up in this environment.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but that wooden thing on hinges is a door. You may use it as a means of exit.
Thanks for pointing that out, but leaving is not as easy as that.
Ragnar is suspicious of us, thinks we’ll betray the location of this camp. So he ordered Christopher the porter not to let us pass. But we must! The things they do here! The New Order may think we are mere bandits, but in reality we serve a vile necromancer! We saw him working once. The screams… The horror… No, we must get out of here!
Fine. How can I persuade this Christopher?
We don’t know. That’s the problem.
Christopher never leaves his post. It’s ridiculous. But if you can persuade him we’ll give you our weapons. We won’t need them anymore once our bandit days are over. Please find a way for us to leave… yes? We just want a quiet life.

Couple Trouble
We don’t actually get weapons, except as possible random loot for a standard quest reward. There’s no evil path to this quest, so we’re just going to do it. It’s not hard if you talk to the right person. I tried getting them in trouble with my evil character, but I couldn’t. I found that disappointing.




(Christopher) What?
_{I’m bored and sober, but I won’t drink one sip of the stale ale they server here. Ah. I’d kill for a bottle of Rimmer’s Rum.}
Nothing.
Good.


In Divine Divinity, Rimmer was a Dwarf who made some very good ale, and he sold it cheaply, too. 5 gold each. You could get 5 bottles free if you passed on a message from him to his brother (or the other way around). 5 bottles of Rimmer’s ale were required to get into the secret developer area.




(Quimby) So he was all like ‘Please, please don’t kill me’!
(Jenett) Oh I hate it when they do that! Just slice ‘em right away!
I did that! A real bleeder he was, soaked my boots!

Hello.
Watch it pretty. You don’t want to get on my bad side!
A new face, eh! Just mind where you step, a’rite!

Well, I usually sneak up from behind, put a hand over his mouth and swiftly cut from ear to ear.
Try jamming your dagger through the vocal cords. No chance of screams that way.
Oh yeah, thanks for the tip!




<sub>In the event of an attack, the bandits can just close the gate and hold off the enemy for days, if need be. I may as well take off my helmet and look around.




It’s good to see you adapting to your newfound agility so well, Dragon Knight, but try not to be so obvious about it.</sub>

You do that animation every time you climb a ladder. It’s over-the-top, but awesome. The males have a different one which is a bit less awesome.




(Barney) My booze! All m… m… mine! No one… HIC!... can find it! In t’bushes. Nooo! Hehe… HIC… he!




Tagos gives you an attribute point for mind-reading him.

You there! Come over here! I’ve got a little task for you!
[+1 Attribute Point]

1. All right, what is it?
2. As long as the reward is adequate, look no further!

The last guy who ordered me around no longer has the tongue to repeat his mistake.
Ha, spunky one aren’t you? I’ll use my tongue before you lose your temper! I led a raid on a merchant caravan a little while back. I remember burying my axe in some skinny guy’s skull, then turning to strangle another. Afterwards I forgot to wrench it out of the corpse and my guard duty impedes my going back there. Go fetch that axe – would you, youngster? It has a good many memories attached to it!
Not to mention a corpse. Fine, I’ll go have a look.
Cordial of you, friend! Walk past the mine camp and follow the road down to the river. Can’t miss it!

An Axe to Find
A simple fetch quest. When we get back we could tell him we want to keep the axe, and then we kill him, but we will be stuck with the axe in our inventory FOREVER, without being able to sell it or even put it into storage. And we don’t even want to use it, so we’re handing it back.




Follow the ledge past Tagos into the bushes and you find Barney’s booze stash. It has the Rimmer’s Rum we need for Christopher.




If you rescued Martis yourself, he shows up in one of the tents to the left and you can buy things from him. For some reason he didn’t show up here, I don’t know why.






(Layla) Back off, that sword is mine!
(Zachary) Bull! I carried it back here!
(Sloan) So what? I’m the best with a blade anyway!
(Wallace) Pfah! You can’t even swing a dagger properly!
(Layla) See this wound? Got it fighting with that New Order guy!
(Zachary) And that makes his armour yours? Dream on!
(Sloan) Yeah, you’re not used to heavy armour anyway!
(Wallace) Takes a man of my posture! Give it here!
(Layla) Touch that bow and I’ll gut you!
(Zachary) Oh go on, try me!
(Sloan) Yeah, go on: gut each other! More for the rest of us!
(Wallace) More for me, you mean! I’ll not share with you, you little cretin!
(Layla) I’ll take this and this and…
(Zachary) Hey, get your inbred hands off of that gold!
(Sloan) Ha! Yeah, let the pure bloods have it!
(Wallace) Big talk from a product of sibling romance! Hehehe!




Hi!
(Doreen) Do me a favour, would you? Go jump off a cliff. Preferably head first.




What is THIS? … Wait, I picked up a book over there, something about a temple.



_{Laiken… so not a cat after all.
Ah, the sharpness of a mind sculpted by Dragon Slayers.}




(Leda) I have not seen you here before. Why do you approach the temple?
_{To survive the temple is to know the motto: ‘All are equal in death and in its black eternity even the poorest shall walk the same path as kings.’}
I’m looking for the lavatories.
Do you consciously endeavour to be hanged by your own bowels?
Quite a sense of humour you have. Must be the time of the month.
I’ll not have our master mocked, stranger, for he is a being of great might and wisdom.
You don’t say? And what is the master’s name?
Lord Laiken, powerful wizard and Dragon Knight.
_{A Dragon Knight called Laiken? Nonsense. He’s an impostor. But I think I know where his lair is.}
Sounds like a job for the Dragon Slayers!
Mention that rabble again and I’ll have my men feed you your own reproductive organs. Now tell me why you are here!
See that big stone building behind you? That’s why!
Anyone here may freely enter, but know that to enter is to participate in the gauntlet. Lord Laiken designed the temple so that only the worthy can approach him. The only one who has been able to do this is our leader Jagon. He’s in there now. So do go in and face the trials. I wish you a slow and painful death.
Sounds fun! But maybe later.

The Temple of Doom
Yeah, no way we’re going in there now. It’s HARD. Leda’s mind does contain a vital clue, so I hope you paid attention.  It’s the place where we’ll need our bow. I gave it a shot without one, and it might technically be possible to do without a bow, but it would be tedious and uninteresting to watch. 




(Ragnar) Let me take a look at you! Strong arms, looks like you’ve seen some action… Yes, you’ll do!
If your request is to discreetly retire to your tent, I’m going to have to decline!
Ha! You’re not my type, you rascal! No, I’d like you to assist in a robbery. Some of my men will ambush a group of nobles bound for Broken Valley. I recently learned, however, that they are protected by New Order soldiers. Some back-up wouldn’t hurt – and you look like the right type!
If I get my share of the loot, then fine – you’ve got your back-up.
Of course you’ll get your fair share! We’re not savages, you know! They’ll follow the road leading from Orobas Fjords past the tower and temple. If you find the wreckages of a caravan, then follow the road towards the tower and you’ll get there soon enough.
_{I’d get my fair share of the loot in the temple if it didn’t mean having to run the blasted trial. To think the key to the biggest prize of all lies there for the taking on the Dragon statue’s head.}

Daylight Robbery
This quest can be done without getting the quest, actually. The robbery takes place at a certain place on the map, whether you go to the bandit camp or not. We can choose sides here, but the reward is identical. Vote at the bottom.




(Christopher) What?
You look thirsty my good man! Can I interest you in a drink? Real Rimmer’s Rum…
Rimmer’s Rum! Oh, that is grand of you! I’m out of here. Gonna lie by the river and get drunk out of my skull. Huzaa!!

You can find him out on the bridge after this.

(Christopher) Now… now this is the life. I don’t even care about the gate, you hear! I don’t!




(Sybille) We saw Christopher leave! How did you do it?
The rum did it, really.
(Clement) To think that was all it took! This is great news, great news indeed. Here are our weapons. May they serve you well.
Goodbye, kind bandit, and thank you!
"Couple Trouble" complete! Quest Reward: 1500 XP, 400 gold. Bonus Chosen: 750 XP.
_{We have yet to meet Lord Lovis, but you have the time to aid a couple of ex-murderers? Axe murders more likely!}

You can later find Christopher lying on the bridge, enjoying his rum.






Goblin Hamlet
To Bandit Camp
Bandit Camp
Noryfundus




Bandit Camp



The Maps

Overall


Goblin Hamlet


Outside Bandit Camp


Bandit Camp




Noryfundus

Video: Noryfundus




Off to the left of the bandit camp, across the stream is this merchant partly hidden from view.



(Noryfundus) Slayer, please, you look rather tired. Rest here for a bit and in the meantime: have a look at what I sell.
Why don’t you trade in the village like the other merchants?
Oh, that lot doesn’t like me ‘cause I sell so cheap. But those who desire real bargains, they know where to find me!
(25% discount) _{Hehehe. Some fake enchantments are all I need to get rich. Certainly the earrings are real, but who’d want those?}
In case you missed the meaningful name, Noryfundus -> no refunds.

Everything except the earrings turns into crap. The earrings are not very good, but they DO have three enchantment slots, which would be nice if I had some worthwhile enchantments and the ingredients to put them into the earrings. Still, I might come back for these later.

My favourite customer! Lovely to see you again.
Hey merchant! You sold me a fake sword! Where is the magic it is supposed to carry?
Fake? Surely you’re mistaken! But feel free to buy another one!

This shield is not enchanted at all! What is going on here?
What are you talking about? Try another if you’re not happy.

This is supposed to be a good bow? You have got to be kidding me!
Kidding? Me? Never! I’m a serious businessman. Come let me prove it to you!

These boots are a joke! This is an outrage!
I’m sorry you do not find them to your satisfaction. Another pair will take care of that!

This ring is as useful as diarrhoea on a date! I demand a refund!
No refunds, Slayer, but you can always buy another!

As if getting suckered so brazenly wasn’t bad enough, after any of those lines you automatically enter the trade menu.




(Sybille) Oh, we’ve never seen you here before! Say, are you a romantic person by any chance?
Why don’t you let me buy you a bouquet of long-stemmed roses before I answer that question.
Oh! How attentive! … Oh. I… I just got it.

(Sybille) Oh, we’ve never seen you here before! Say, are you a romantic person by any chance?
(Pyrania) Let’s see… I do like to bask in the sunset glow as my armour drips in the blood of sadistically slain enemies
Not what I had in mind, but close enough.

You can ask Christopher if he would be willing to let them go.
How much would it take for you to turn a blind eye for a bit and let Clement and Sybille sneak out of the camp?
(Christopher) I don’t know. But it would cost you your tongue should I tell Ragnar about this. Now get lost!


Lord Laiken, powerful wizard and Dragon Knight.
Impossible, my dear! The last of them was called Talana and I watched her die.
I know not this Talana you speak of, but rest assured Lord Laiken is a Dragon Knight! Oh, and address me like that again and I’ll have my men feed you your own reproductive organs. Now tell me why you are here!


Three rabbits died this update as a result of my poison aura jewellery.
Total Bunnies Killed: 3.




History of the Dragon Knights, Part 2


An ABC of Dragons


Tenets of the Order of Dragon Slayers



Reader Participation

1. We’ve got a dilemma with Eugene. Do we:
a) Kill the crazy Jackal (Reward: Jackal’s Axe)
b) Kill the mild-mannered Clyde (Reward: Clyde’s Ring) (Default) = 1 Vote

2. As you may have seen in the video, some bandits are squabbling over some weapons they looted.
a) Let them sort it out themselves. (Nothing happens.)
b) Resolve the problem by taking it ourselves and killing them when they object.

3. We’ve been asked to participate in a daylight robbery. Do we:
a) Help the bandits slaughter and rob the travellers?
b) Help the travellers slaughter the bandits and claim that there were too many of them to the bandit boss? (Default) = 1 Vote

4. An old soldier wishes to die honourably in battle, not of old age.
a) Honour his request and fight him.
b) Refuse to fight him.