Part 91: Seahorse Salad

Chapter 69 – Seahorse Salad



Welcome Home
Ashraf the Pumpkin
Thomas the Tomato
Gardner the Carrot


Video: Welcome Home


(Dragon Knight Yara) …
(Lucian) <sub>Dragon Knight, I’ve just checked on something, and you should know about it.
What’s that?
Take out your Dragon Stone.




It looks like it still works, but I haven’t dared to try it. If Damian destroyed the Battle Tower, who knows where I’d end up.
Dare.</sub>


Yara activated the Dragon Stone.



(Sassan) Dragon Knight!
Sassan! You’re alive! Damian didn’t attack?
I am so very happy to see you!
Happy, yes, but not surprised it seems!
I sensed you would be back, my liege: my time spent in death gave me some peculiar powers. And a good thing, too: I have informed your other servants and they are ready to receive you once more.
Not that I’m glad to be wrong, but I thought Damian was going to destroy the tower?
We saw the Flying Fortresses gather just outside the Orobas Fjords, but they waited there a short while, and then they headed for Champion Harbour. Everyone here was just as surprised as you are, Dragon Knight.
Ygerna… Ygerna revived before Damian decided to attack the Battle Tower. … And after, with me in the crystal prison, there wasn’t any point to attacking the tower anymore.
That sounds like a fascinating story, Dragon Knight.
It is, but I’ll have to tell it after the crisis in Aleroth is over. Anything I should know about the tower?
Everything has remained pretty much the same since I last saw you. The waypoint shrine broke, I don’t know how, but you still have the Dragon Stone, so that’s no problem.
I’m sure someone in Aleroth will know how to fix it, but I think they’re all occupied. Keep up the good work, Sassan.
Thank you, Dragon Knight.





You didn’t really think the game would strip you of the Battle Tower, did you? You lose all the books and anything else worthless you had stashed in your Coffer, though. I might need the runners to grind for diamonds and malachite so I can buy some of the expensive stuff, I guess. It’d be worse if I needed to buy a weapon.

Sassan used to be neutral when trading, but in the expansion, she now likes us, so we get the 25% discount automatically. Not that she has much to trade.

The waypoint shrine in the master chamber breaking is annoying, because that’s near the coffer, and it makes it a bit more annoying to have to run from the throne room to the coffer. If the teleporter was working, some trips could be much faster. I didn’t notice this in the Orobas Fjords because there was only the one place which had merchants near a teleporter.

Still, some of the expansion's set-pieces only work if you can't run away to the tower and use the teleporter to go elsewhere, so there's a good reason why it's broken.




(Igor) Igor is ready to serve, my master. May I serve you?
So, it must have been easy for you to re-join the ranks of the Black Ring while I was away. Why didn’t you?
But it is you I serve, great Dragon! You and no other! Besides, where could I find another necromancy ring like this, such power to harness… on your behalf…

I’m not going to need to use Igor again, my Creature is as good as it gets. Grimm, the limb-peddler is gone, presumably he returned home. We don’t need him anyway, Doctor West supplies creature parts now.




(Barbatos) The esteemed master of the tower! How may Barbatos brighten your day?
Anything interesting happen while I was away?
Nothing much, I’m glad to say! Seems Damian no longer has an interest in this edifice. And a good thing that is too! I have the distinct feeling he would not care much for horticulture!

Nothing of note here. If you start a new Expansion character, you automatically start with all the Rank 8 potion formulas in your coffer.




(Wesson) Esteemed Dragon Knight! What can I do for you?
How are my enchantment machines? Everything in order?
Oh, but yes indeed! I always knew you’d be back, whatever they said.
(Ginny) Foul mouths the lot of them! But not us, your exalted majesty! We’ve stood up for you through thick and thin!
Thank you. But it’s perfectly fine and natural for people to have doubts. For a long time, I didn’t think I’m make it back either.

I put some Level 10 enchantments onto my armour, adding +100 Health and +100 Mana.



I also swapped out my Scorpion Ring for a random loot one and put in some charms. It gives more effective HP than the Scorpion Ring did.

If you start a new Expansion character, you automatically start with a few Rank 1 enchanting formulas, I think.




(Hermosa) Back for more? I’m ready for another round if you are.
Glad to see the arena is still intact.
That it is! And don’t think I’ve been idle either. No spell so devious, no skill so cunning that I don’t know it like a veteran of a thousand wars!

Hermosa can now train all our skills up to Rank 15 (the ones that can go that high, that is). The one skill she can’t train up is Lockpick – only Caroline in the Ministry can train that one.

This is all there is to do in the tower in the expansion.

Music: Lanilor Lane


Music: Lanilor Lane Vocals



Video: Ashraf the Pumpkin




(Eareab) If only I had my old blade Impsplitter! I’d show them Champions what soldiers we are!
(Nathirap) And I my bow Trollpiercer! They’d beg us to join their tribe!
In the name of the old Toad Tail Totems, what a rotten business this is!
Don’t curse, Eareb. We’ll convince them yet! We goblins are natural warriors! We’ll drag the bowels from Black Ring bellies with bare hands if need be!




Totems grace you, Dragon Knight! I am Eareb and this is my brother Nathirap.
We are goblin outcasts, come here to live a civilised life away from the tribes and backward shamans.
A pleasure to meet you.
You are most courteous, human. More so than Aquila, the Champion Captain who is addressing his men.
We want to fight for Aleroth, but that misbegot will not allow it!



Okay, I have to interrupt right here, Seriously, did Larian forget that in the first part of the game, we were slaughtering goblins for… the city of Aleroth? To make desperately needed super healing potions? Remember?

I’m not sure how the city let them in the gate, I’m surprised that these guys are still standing with hearts still inside their chests. … And these goblins, these goblins here, they want to join the Aleroth soldiers? The guys who make a career of slaughtering... goblins?




Are you sure you want to stand up against the Black Ring?
*Hisss* I spit on the Ring! They bring pestilence wherever they go. Human or goblin it matters not. But still that Captain shuns us. We do not look like warriors in his eyes! The nerve! *Hisss* We who were known as the brothers of the spear! Trolls ran when they saw us in the woods!
I have an idea, Eareb! The Dragon must be clever, no doubt, very clever! Convince Aquila we can fight and our gratitude you shall have!

Brothers in Arms
We need to convince Aquila to let the goblins join the army. This quest isn’t hard, but we’ll have to pay out of our own pocket to complete it.




_{Alzbeta’s Emporium. Looks like a bunch of junk to me.}




(Alzbeta) Welcome to my store, friend. Do you belong to the authorities, if I may ask?
If a Dragon Knight can be called an Authority, then yes.
Indeed! Well you’re not a Champion, that’s what counts. I’m not very fond of them, you see. Not that I have anything to hide, mind you. Haha! Anyway: let’s do some shopping, shall we?

Tell me, where does your rather acute case of championphobia stem from?
Oh, don’t read too much into it. I simply dislike their autocratic conduct. I mean, even if you’ve done nothing wrong, but they think you have… not that I have… they might… thought I didn’t… Um… let’s just change the subject, shall we?

(-15000 XP, -25% discount) _{I had better lower my prices to win the Dragon’s favour. Just in case it is suspicious of me.}
Let’s see what you have to sell.
I’m certain you’ll find my wares to be satisfactory!




Alzbeta’s the last traditional merchant in the game who sells unique items. I almost forgot, but there’s one more guy who counts as a merchant, but he’s optional and I think he only has the one unique item.




(Talking Pumpkin) A pumpkin, a bloody pumpkin! A man of my stature, reduced to a plant of so unflattering a shape!
Let me guess, you’d have preferred to be a cucumber.
(Ashraf) Ha! At least that would not have belied the gifts of nature! But first things first. I’m Ashraf, proud Prancing Seahorse card carrier. I take it you have heard of this exclusive club. At least it used to be exclusive, men only, you know, but then Ursula came. No one could resist her, we were all enchanted by her beauty and now she has betrayed us! Turned me into a vegetable!
Tell me about the Prancing Seahorse.
Lovely place that! Right on Lanilor Lane. Best place to put up one’s feet, down too much brandy and forget all about the ol’ ball ‘n’ chain! Sure you have some old tossers running around as well, scholars they call themselves, but they leave us party-loving types alone.
What do you know about this Ursula?
That she’s a vixen, a temptress, who used us to gain… Actually I don’t really know what she wants. A harpy, that’s Ursula, but what a behind, Dragon Knight! An irresistible behind! The behind a man would quest for!
I’m certain she appreciates your ever-so-refined compliments.
So she should! Can anyone give better praise than that?



Yes!
(-15000 XP) _{I hope no one knows what power one may receive when they eat me in this pumpkin form!}
Okay, I’ll tell you what I’ll do about this situation.
Yes? What?
I’ll help you. Most probably I can be of assistance.
Yes! You see, the object of her pursuit is without a doubt the Forbidden Archives, a library of power. To open it you will need to pull three levers, one of which is in my room. Tell the door ‘Open Wide’ and it’ll let you through. But remember you’ll have to find the other two password carriers as well.
Where can I find the other two lever fellows?
I don’t know. But surely they are in Aleroth, and perhaps they have been cursed like I have! Gardner and Thomas, those are the chaps you’re looking for. I hope to gods they are all right. Best drinking pals I have ever had.
These Forbidden Archives, what can you tell me about them?
Not much, I never even saw them. Why I’m one of the three in charge of guarding its entrance is beyond me.
Me too.
Perhaps it’s because we never leave the club unless there’s another soiree at Madam Eve’s.
I have heard enough. I’ll be off to see what I can do.¬¬¬
Divine praise you!

Ashraf the Pumpkin / Thomas the Tomato / Gardner the Carrot
There’s no cure until we can get into the Forbidden Archives and confront Ursula. However, instead of helping, we could have eaten a vegetable and gained two attribute points each. But that was just a bit too evil for Yara’s character.

In a nice touch, you get different dialogue options for each of the vegetables if they’re the third one you find.


Video: Thomas the Tomato


(Aquila) Some of you might wonder what we are going to do about the Crow’s Nest and other parts of the city that have been infected by the walking dead. The answer is simple: nothing. As far as we are concerned, those quarters are lost. Why? Because we will not risk the life of one more Champion until the Black Ring threat has been dealt with.
_{I guess Lieutenant Casca didn’t get the message. He was going to rush right in after that tree showed up.}
We will have our revenge on those flesh-eating corpses later. Slaying them will be your reward for saving Aleroth and for each head you claim, her coffers will reward you with ten pieces of gold!




Should Damian and his armies break through Zandalor’s shield, we Champions will have to fight a foe more pernicious and deadly than this generation of our order has ever battled before. But let not this frighten you, or weaken your resolve, for this is not the first time mankind has faced the might of the Black Ring and prevailed. The Divine is no longer with us, but let his memory and especially his example be a guiding force for you and relish in the thrust of your sword through the very belly of the vermin that sides with the Damned One!




I ask you to keep your business brief, Dragon Knight, for I have much to tell these soldiers.
(-7500 XP) _{Ah, a leader of Champions. Little does he know the Black Ring will gouge out his eyes, pierce his tongue with bone splinters from his own legs and put his head on a stake. To be a fly on the wall when it happens!}
Do you reckon you will be able to fend off the Black Ring should they break through?
Between you and me, I don’t give us a chance in hell: but that would make for rather dreary speech material, now, wouldn’t it? Still. Miracles have happened before – and in any case, we’ll take plenty of the bastards with us if they dare face us in combat!
I talked to some goblin brothers: they seem pretty eager to join the defenders of the city.
Eareb and Nathirap? They’re a fine pair of chaps, but have you seen them? I don’t believe for a second they were famed warriors amongst their kin. Should they have weapons and harnesses: show they are ready for war, then perhaps I would reconsider. Until then I will not allow them to join the Champions. Unarmed they would be a danger to my soldiers and themselves.




Now then, let’s talk tactics! I want the streets to be locked down in segments so we can funnel the enemy into many a pocket of destruction. They will have the numbers, but they won’t be able to exploit it. They will trample their own as archers let fall their deadly hail from every window. Those who persevere will run to their deaths on the bloodthirsty tips of our blades as the force of magic missiles tears the flesh from their limbs! And by the by: no fireballs! We don’t want widespread conflagration, do we? Undead armies and Black Ring troops pose enough challenge for one day, I should think.




(Chanelle) Welcome to Chez Chanelle! The best herbalist and illusionist in Aleroth, and that’s not just because I’m the only one.
Have you been in Aleroth long?
Oh, yes – ever since I was twelve and my parents moved here in search of fortune. We opened shop and although we did struggle to survive those first few years we decided to stay nevertheless, having fallen quite in love with this charming city. I don’t think we would have stayed if we knew how Aleroth would turn out: infected by strange creatures and ruled by the eccentric Deodatus. Still, I’m confident the Champions will take care of matters as they always do.




What’s with that chamber behind you? How do you enter it?
Secret chamber? There’s no secret chamber! What on earth are you talking about?

(-22500 XP) _{The ease with which I brew potions! I truly am a great herbalist.}
Your Master Herbalist skill has increased by 1!

Do you know a man named Baldini?
Why, yes. He was my uncle, but he disappeared many years ago.
I met his ghost and he wanted me to bring you this flower so you may finish his perfume.
His ghost? I must say I find that hard to believe! But what is that smell? My, what a fragrance! Only my uncle could have given his life in search of the perfect perfume. I believe you and. Though I’m no specialist like he was, I shall endeavour to finish Baldini’s bouquet. It will take me some time, though, so come back in a while to see the result!




_{The trail of bread and sausage goes into that house. I suppose while I’m here I should pick up that diary for Hansel.}
“For Tom: knock once. For Hansel: knock twice. For Laniel: knock thrice.”
I’m here for Hansel, but he’s not in. Besides, Dragon Knights never knock twice.






(Tom) Oh! I didn’t expect to see a Dragon Knight in my home!
Er, sorry for barging in.
That’s all right.
So you’re living in this big house all by yourself?
No, I live with Hansel, a good friend of mine. We decided to share a house and also, of course, the rent. There’s a third room upstairs, behind Hansel’s, but we barely even see the guy who lives there. He usually comes home very late at night, if at all, and we sometimes hear very disturbing sounds coming from his chamber. We never dared ask him anything, though, the man’s just too creepy.
I met Hansel, he told me about the undead that attacked him.
Yes, what a crazy story! I was on my way back from the market when I saw Hansel running at full speed, chased by an undead. Strange thing was that he was throwing sausages and bread all around him, almost as if he wanted to attract the thing even more!
Huh… now that I think about it, there was an awful lot of sausages and bread… more than I’d expect from a simple meal.
He ran straight up to Dorus, shouting for help. Good thing that man is handy with a blade and managed to capture it! Wish I was that strong!
Take care, Tom.
Fortune find you, Dragon Knight!

Actually, this conversation with Tom doesn’t happen yet, it only happens later. I played ahead to get this conversation. The problem with it happening later is that by the time Tom shows up here, the odds are that you’ve already finished the quest for Hansel, so it’s rather pointless.






(Thomas the Talking Tomato) Ho there, don’t you come any closer, I am not for eating!
Great. Another talking vegetable.
The others too? That means you have been told about our curse!
Who is Ursula, by the way?
She told us she’s a professor and that she researched pre-war Elven poetry. Our library is stacked with the stuff and even though our club is men-only we couldn’t resist her… charms. But now she has turned on us and as far as I know is trying to make away with some of the magic we keep there. O many’s the time I gave her a pinch and a fondle and now she betrayed us! How dare she?
Gee, I wonder why she might have been annoyed with you.
Tell me about the Prancing Seahorse.
Very exclusive, open only to the best and the brightest. Not that me and my buddies are scholars, gods no, but turns out the wealthiest also belong to the best and brightest!
(-15000 XP) _{I hope no one knows I’m a super tomato or they might get it into their heads to eat me!}
I have decided what I’ll do about your predicament.
Dear me, you mean you’ll defy the witch?
Yes indeed. Can you tell me where she is?
You know the Prancing Seahorse? On Lanilor Lane? That’s where she is. I’ll bet my entire wine cellar she’s worked her way into the Forbidden Archives and you’ll have to follow her in there. There are three levers in three rooms: mine, Gardner’s, and Ashraf’s and all room doors have passwords. ‘Drudanae’ opens mine.
What do you know about the Forbidden Archives?
Oh, it’s where ol’ Deo and that type of fellows keep ‘secret’ stuff. Ancient magic, obscure sorceries, you name it. Me and my friends don’t really care about all of those sorceries, so long as we guard those levers everything’s peachy.
…
Doing a good job, then.
I can’t help it! Not like they gave us a course!
I have business to attend to. Don’t go anywhere.
Well aren’t you a regular hoot!





Over there is Hansel’s diary.




With Hansel’s odd behaviour, I think this warrants a closer look.
The diary details Hansel’s infatuation with Gretel and describes how he pines for her, lists reasons why they should be together. (Apparently their names are a great match.) But in recent entries the tone becomes more grim and it turns out Hansel planned to lure an undead monster to the market so that Gretel’s Champion husband Dorus might be killed when during battle with it. You are confident Hansel would appreciate your silence and Dorus your sense of justice…


Introducing my new series on Aleroth’s completely messed up architecture. This is one of a couple varieties of Aleroth house. Two rooms upstairs, two rooms downstairs. The problem here is that there’s no way to get into Laniel’s room (the door to the right) without going through Hansel’s room! That’s stupid!


Video: Gardner the Carrot


(Willy) There you are! You’re ready to cleanse my house from its foul Assassins’ Guild presence, right?
Potions! Totally forgot to mention potions. Can’t fight the Black Ring without ‘em, no sir!
If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were swindling me! Here, take this to buy those potions and in the Divine’s name don’t tarry!
Gold Received: 500.
_{I should report back to Messalina at the Circle of Trust Inn.}




(Messalina) Welcome back. Always a pleasure!
I found your Champions. They were bickering about who should go in. I sent in the elder one, Aulus.
That old man? I hope he survives. Still, they’re both idiots. What a ridiculous argument: they should have just gone together! I’m thinking they’re a bit too fond of each other.
Um… I went in a little later. I cleared all the undead… but Aulus didn’t… he didn’t make it.
Damn. What a shame. I’ll be the one to tell Minius about that, Dragon Knight. So don’t worry yourself about that.
“Old Dog or New Tricks?” complete! Quest Reward: 4783 XP, 600 Gold. Bonus Chosen: 2435 XP.






(Gardner the Talking Carrot) You there, please, you have to help me!
You’re one of the Seahorse finest, I take it?
Ah, you have heard of our predicament! We need to stop Ursula and undo her sorcery.
Tell me about the Prancing Seahorse.
It’s a gentleman’s club on Lanilor Lane. Me and my buddies kind of use it as a bar, but it’s really a gathering point for the male intellectuals of Aleroth.
Who is Ursula, actuallu?
A gorgeous young woman, a scholar – or so we thought! But all she wanted all along was to infiltrate our library and sneak into the Forbidden Archives. No one is allowed in there, except for certain high-placed officials such as Deodatus. Who knows what nefarious magic she is looking for! To think I bought her sweetrolls and flowers, and called her pussycat all the time. I thought she liked me!
Tell me about the Forbidden Archives.
It is simply a place that no ordinary citizen can visit because it’s where city records are kept. But amongst the papers are ancient sorceries, which is why, I assume, Ursula is so hell-bent on getting in.
(-15000 XP) _{She said I’d give power to those that eat me, but I’ll be damned if I let anyone know.}
Okay, here’s what I’ll do…
Yes, you’ll help me?
I will, if you tell me how.
Great. Ursula will be in what we call the Forbidden Archives right now and you will need to pull three levers in order to get in as well. One is in my room, the others in the rooms of my friends Thomas and Ashraf. I don’t know what the passwords to their chambers are, so you’ll have to find them too, but mine is ‘Brandy’.
I had better be off!
Please do all you can to help me, Dragon Knight.
_{That’s all three passwords. Back to the Prancing Seahorse.}

It’s easy to find the carrot without looking. I did it before setting foot in the Seahorse the first time I played. But I discovered that you can walk carefully to avoid triggering the conversation.




This is Ashraf’s room. What is the password?
Open Wide!
Only for you.

I’ll note that this is the only door which is a female voice.







This is Thomas’ room. What is the password?
Drudanae.
That’s bad for your health, you know.




_{Ooh, a chest.
Excuse me, Dragon Knight, but what are you doing? Are you STEALING from them?
No, I’m assessing a Moron Penalty, for wasting my time.
Oh. … I see. … Well, carry on, then.}



That door behind the bed is not the door I came in. Thomas’s room, for SOME reason, has a second door that goes to another hallway, which goes to the Forbidden Archives, as well as the upstairs room for the head of the club.

I love this game, I love all the detail that Larian put into the buildings in Aleroth, the wood is nicely carved, there are cobwebs on the ceiling, there are paintings and stained glass windows, and loads and loads of details. It’s truly marvellous.

But the architecture is insane. (And this isn’t even getting into the fact that interiors are MUCH larger than exteriors.)

All throughout the game, we’ve been hearing about the Prancing Seahorse, and how it’s THE premiere club for scholars and the place where all the prized and magical documents are stored.

And yet on the inside, it’s TINY. It’s supposed to be a big huge place, but it’s tiny, there are exactly three private rooms, not counting the Forbidden Archives and the third-floor room. All three of these private rooms – containing the levers to access this place which has FORBIDDEN in the name – the only three rooms in the place belong to three utter IDIOTS who come here just to drink. That’s so very, very stupid. Where are the rooms for the IMPORTANT people, the scholars?

The idiotic architecture comes into play when you consider the third floor. The only way to reach that is either through the sealed Forbidden Archives, or through the password-protected Thomas’s room. That’s the second time this update where a person would need to walk through someone’s bedroom to reach their own. The Prancing Seahorse is a one-off area, not seen anywhere else in Aleroth, so they could have made the design sensible.

There is a password on the Forbidden Archives, so someone who knows it can walk through without going through Thomas’ room, but it’s still just crazy design. It could have been fixed easily, too. Larian could have put a staircase going into the basement and moved the Forbidden Archives there (where there could have been space for a lot more stuff), and had the current location be a library or a study for more mundane books. That would have opened a passage to the third floor and removed the need for a bizarre second door on Thomas’s room.

Whoops, sorry for the rant. It just bugged me.




This is Gardener’s room. What is the password?
Brandy.
Delicious and correct.






_{It’s open now. Time to confront Ursula.}






Welcome Home
Ashraf the Pumpkin
Thomas the Tomato
Gardner the Carrot


Maps






To Boldly Go Where Rhode has gone Before: Rhode went to the Prancing Seahorse on Lanilor Lane to search for information on Behrlihn.
Bark up the Right Tree: There’s a strange tree on Mardaneus Plaza blocking our way. A soldier thinks we might find a dictionary in the Prancing Seahorse on Lanilor Lane.
Seahorse Salad: A woman called Ursula has turned some of the members of the Prancing Seahorse into vegetables, and she’s locked herself into the Forbidden Archives. We need to find the vegetables so we can get in.


Crow’s Nest
Damsel in Distress: Servus in the Ministry wants us to check up on his wife at their house in Crow’s Nest. (backburner)
Spectre at the Feast: Caracalla wants our assistance to avenge his death in Crowell’s House in Crow’s Nest. (backburner)

Great Market
First Aid: Peter in Mardaneus Plaza wants us to get a Healing Orb from the basement of Healer’s House.

Lanilor Lane
Trail of Deceit: Hansel in the Great Market wants us to retrieve his diary from his house in Lanilor Lane.
A Swindler Swindled: Willy, the con man wants us to deal with assassins in his house on Lanilor Lane.
Earrings in Law Ransid on Lanilor Lane wants us to retrieve his mother-in-law’s earrings from the haunted playhouse on Lanilor Lane.


Mind over Matter:

• Virginius in the Great Market wants a compass.
  
• Cesca in Mardaneus Plaza wants a toy zeppelin.
  
• Doctor West in the Circle of Trust Inn wants a new type of limb
  
• in the Circle of Trust Inn wants her special “Bellegar” coin returned.
  
• Valeri on upper Lanilor Lane wants a Raccoon Rune.

Persons and Places of Interest

There are no quests associated with these people or places at the moment, but they’re worth remembering. There will be more later.

• Rune Handles – Bellegar placed 5 of these in Aleroth. When they’re all pulled, something will probably happen. Handles Pulled: 2/5
  
• Kenzo – A Black Ring spy who infiltrated Aleroth. Whatever his plan is, it can’t be good for the city.
  
• Halliwell – A holy man, a General in the New Order, with a disfigured face. Behrlihn thinks he’s worth keeping an eye on. He’s staying in the Circle of Trust Inn, but isn’t there now.
  
• Wild Willows Manor – An insane asylum in Crow’s Nest. It would probably be creepy enough if it wasn’t in the part of the city overrun with undead.
  
• Laniel – Lives in Hansel’s house on Lanilor Lane. Weird guy, a loner, mysterious chanting is heard in his room occasionally.
  
• Sir Gula – An archaeologist who in recent weeks has become reclusive, abandoning his dig and shutting himself in his house on Lanilor Lane.
  
• Madam Eve’s – With a name like that, what do you think it is? It’s on Lanilor Lane.
  
• Alzbeta – A shopkeeper on Lanilor Lane who seems jumpy around Champions and other upholders of the law.
  

Totems grace you, Dragon Knight! I am Eareb and this is my brother Nathirap.
We are goblin outcasts, come here to live a civilised life away from the tribes and backward shamans.
The last time I talked to a goblin, its head started a separate life moments later.
*Hisss* There is no need for hostility, human. As I explained, we burnt our bridges behind us.
A pretty bonfire it was! The screaming sounded so musical against the sunset.




(Alzbeta) Welcome to my store, friend. Do you belong to the authorities, if I may ask?
I wouldn’t say so.
Good, good! Long as you’re not one of the so-called Champions!




That she’s a vixen, a temptress, who used us to gain… Actually I don’t really know what she wants. A harpy, that’s Ursula, but what a behind, Dragon Knight! An irresistible behind! The behind a man would quest for!
Bottoms up, eh?
Ha! You said it! Go get ‘er, Dragon Knight!

That she’s a vixen, a temptress, who used us to gain… Actually I don’t really know what she wants. A harpy, that’s Ursula, but what a behind, Dragon Knight! An irresistible behind! The behind a man would quest for!
Which is what I intend to do.
Show her no one messes with the Seahorse men!




Me and my friends don’t really care about all of those sorceries, so long as we guard those levers everything’s peachy.
Looks like Ursula managed to penetrate your mighty defence.
Ha! I’ll tell you, … But no, that wouldn’t be very appropriate.




(Gardner the Talking Carrot) You there, please, you have to help me!
Not every day one is addressed by a carrot.
Not every day one is turned into a carrot, either!

(Gardner the Talking Carrot) You there, please, you have to help me!
And why is that? Is someone about to feed you to a horse? Haven’t seen many around.
Heaven forbid! Oh, what have I done to earn this cruel fate?

I’ll show off the “Evil” side of Seahorse Salad in a separate update, it’s quite different and too long for “Alternate Conversations”. It’s pretty hilarious. Evil, but hilarious.


If you had watched the Prancing Seahorse video, you would have seen me mind-read the doors and learn where the vegetables are. I know that I do put up pretty much everything in screenshots, but the videos are up for a reason. The game has some good voice-acting and the action is more interesting in video.


(-7500 XP) (Gardner’s Door) _{What is Gardner going to do in the emergency barracks? Hit on female Champions? They’ll have his privates for breakfast.}
(-7500 XP) (Thomas’ Door) _{Sad how Thomas spends so much time with a chap he doesn’t even like. Just because Hansel serves a decent glass of whiskey.}
(-7500 XP) (Ashraf’s Door) _{Ashraf really has to choose: he dotes over Ursula all the time, then spends hours pestering Alzbeta.}


Reader Participation


1. Ursula, the woman who broke into the Prancing Seahorse has found what she’s looking for. It’s something that will let her become the absolute ruler of a distant land, far from Aleroth. What should we do?
1a) Agree to let her leave peacefully, if she restores the vegetables to human form.
1b) Fight her, so she doesn’t become dictator of the distant land.


Voting is still open on these from last time, also, if only because I can come back to these, so there’s no rush.


2. A necromancer wishes for some items belonging to recently deceased people so he can force their souls to serve him in death. What should we do?
2a) Give the items to him. = 1 Vote
2b) Return the items to the rightful heirs. = 3 Votes

3. There’s a dispute between a Healer and a Soldier over some zombie corpses. The Healer wants to study them to see what can be learned, the Soldier has orders to burn them. What should Yara decree?
3a) Burn the bodies.
3b) Let the Healer study them. = 3 Votes