Part 122: Hinnom - Training Montage
Look, I don't know about you, but things have really sucked for me lately, and I could really use a victory.
So let's get one, dude! Let's get this game started. Let's look death in the face and say: "Whatever, man!"
Your so-called kung-fu... is really... quite pathetic. Your swordsmanship is amateur at best. So my pathetic friend... is there anything that you can do well?
Apollo Bar? It, like, keeps your energy up dude.
You're a panda! What are you gonna do, big guy? Sit on me?
Even Buddha must conquer evil. But first, you must master the 35 Chambers of Shaolin!
You will be prepared to face TheDemon.
The first chamber is called "Stab Yourself While Carrying Water Buckets Up a Pyramid with Swords Attached to Your Arms!"
One brave man alone is not enough. But unity is strength.
The second chamber is called "Now we burn you with giant incense!" This is not a chamber, just hazing.
Dude, I'm tired. And this sucks. Can't I just take a break and have a little dip of this tub of ranch dressing?
Plus you are fat and must complete your training.
This chamber is "Learn Physics of Leverage by Hit Bell With Big Stick With Heavy Weight on End!"
Every girl wants to be a Shaolin master!
Great Buddhist koan you must understand to master this chamber: what is the sound of five fingers saying to the face?
Power. Balance. Speed. Dude! I know kung fu!