Part 127: Hinnom - Turn 33
I don't remember what I was trading Mictlan for fire gems. Something! Lots more site searching. Not so many more sites. But enough chit chat, our glorious pretender King Hippomnomnomnom has returned to us! HIP HIP HOORAY!
This glorious event is celebrated with a LAN Party, featuring an all you can eat hostess products bar, a code red fountain, an entire wall of televisions playing animes and Big Papa playing over and over in the background.
The Dire Portent is Pan casting Mother Oak. irony.or.death is now absolutely swimming in nature gems. He gets six from his cap and this provides an extra ten. This is how you end up with stuff like an Emerald City. And that shit is like if you give a mouse a cookie but with do-gooder little girls, talking lions and mechanical giants with sharp axes and cold, dead eyes.
In Lanka, TACO FLAVORED KISSES easily def... wait, what the fuck happened here?
TheDemon summoned up a ton of these guys. This actually makes me feel pretty good. If TheDemon is using Gana as chaff then things are getting pretty tight in Lanka. I also suspected at the time that TheDemon was using them because they're ethereal and thus are quite difficult to hit with non-magical weapons (like those wielded by barbarians). That just makes me feel more clever about giving TACO FLAVORED KISSES that fire brand, which should tear through them. Of course, I don't have the benefit of seeing TheDemon's 100 death gem stash.
And here's TACO FLAVORED KISSES after the initial clash. He got clocked by Palankasha before his vine shield started working.
He gets hit big right off the bat, fails his morale check for going below 50% HP and flees. If he'd stuck around he would have easily won this fight. I guess that's what happens when you spend all your time training playing Sunset Riders on an emulator.
In Nardago, my brilliant... wait, what the fuck is this shit? I thought I was done sucking? This turn is bullshit. Screw you guys, I'm going home.
Here's everyone set up. That giant scout should have been stealthed. Darth Helmet has cast fire shield, is regenerating, lucky and ethereal. He should be incredibly difficult to hit.
Obsuro and the scouts go down and Darth Helmet gets surrounded. Palankasha start to burn themselves out on his fire shield.
And then he starts to get tired. It's hot. He's carrying a backpack that is literally made of fire, his helmet is heavy, he can't hold his canteen to get a drink with his stupid ethereal hands and his luck amulet smells like wet burro. While most Palankasha miss, he's surrounded and every hit that gets through manages to strike a sensitive bit. His funny bone, his nose, he stubs his big toe and then he's down and the Palankasha are killing him. It wasn't supposed to end like this! Didn't King Hippomnomnomnom learn his lesson about fatigue from that stupid commander so many turns ago? Yeah, I mess this up pretty badly. The plan is solid, but I neglect fatigue and as a result every hit is a critical. If his reinvigoration were sufficient to keep his fatigue at 0 I think I would have won this battle. Instead I lose an Ammi, a Melqart and two scouts.
In Vician Forest, TACO FLAVORED KISSES has heard that the third try is the charm and returns to Lanka. One of the positive results of my site searching this turn was those two death sites here.
PIMP ROBES is set to teleport onto TheDemon's army on Nardago. It's just Palankasha so a kitted PIMP ROBES should be able to take care of them. By "take care of" I mean "humanely capture them, put them in a crate and drive them out to a farm in the country where they will be able to live out the remainder of their days frolicking."
Here you can see that I'm addressing the reinvig issue on PIMP ROBES with some boots of the messenger. They provide 4 reinvig a turn and combined with my bless that will put him at 6 reinvig a turn so he'll cast, build up something like 15 fatigue and then slowly drop down to 0.
KING HIPPO JR stays put on my side of the bridge. He has minimal kit, but look at all those glorious hit points. He's regenerating 18 hp a turn so I'm confident in his ability to act as a cork on TheDemon's island.
Cost: 30E, 48 slaves
Gems Generated: 14
Uh, hey dude. How's that war thing with T'ien C'hi going? Do you, like, need some ranch dressing or something? I have an extra tub if you want I can share.
Ah you have no idea of the magnitude of this thing. If TC is allowed to infiltrate this world, then Pangaea as you know it, Ceases to Exist! You see, right now, I have Occupied Pan, but there is also Independent Pan. That's the Pan you know, the Pan you grew up with - Movie Pan, Coffee shop Pan, Liar Pan, Bawdy Pan.
Dude, I, I love that Pan.
Me Too! And he's Dying! If Occupied Pan walks through this door, he will Kill Independent Pan! A Pan, divided against itself, Cannot Stand!