Part 152: Hinnom - Turn 52
Gems continue to flood King Hippomnomnomnom's coffers as his support of the ideals of truth, justice and the Hinnom way are recognized the world over as a beacon of all things good and virtuous.
Perpetual Storm goes up, and the Zmeywaffe is grounded. All moves that rely on flying are cancelled and gates grow crowded with angry passengers who just want to get home for the holidays. King Hippomnomnomnom orders a global counter strike, hoping to destroy the Zmeywaffe while it is grounded.
WALKING GEICO AD casts Ritual of Rebirth. The noble warriors who sacrificed their lives to recover the bodies of PIMP ROBES and KING HIPPO JR from Lanka will not be forgotten. Ritual of rebirth brings back a dead commander from the hall of fame as a mummy. Blood hunting is stilll at zero.
Research in Evocation 7 is complete and King Hippomnomnomnom's mages begin to unlock the secrets of summoning dudes that smash things.
Here are the spells in evo 7.
This one is the best. It drops rocks on the whole battlefield. I'm counting on getting kraken with air and earth to cast it, and when I do I'll be able to consistently drop 14 damage on the entire battlefield every turn. This spell is purpose built to ruin communions. Cloud trapeze onto a province where the communion is moving, cast rain of stones and kill all their mages, make the smug face and send them a taunting message. My plan is to use it to counter blood magic and ozelotl spam. Ozelotl have terrible protection and when blood slaves get hit by rocks they die
This is also a useful spell. I plan on using it to burn everything.
In High Woods, PEW PEW PEW drives off the beseiging commander.
The A-Team continues to take losses as their ill-advised trophy-taking repeatedly comes back to haunt them.
Still, the amulet belonged to Murdock's mother and Hannibal promised he'd bring it home to her. Wherever she is.
This is one of the funnier battles. Keeping with the theme so far this turn, I win.
's fall reverberates across Mictlan and the resurgent forces of King Hippomnomnomnom sally forth to drive off the besieging force as King Hippomnomnomnom watches in silent approval.
In Winter Peaks, :Zero Emissions: stopped at a roadside diner for a cup of coffee and a piece of pie. A trio of drunk Mictlan mages accosted him, asking about King Hippomnomnomnom's stance on the Kyoto Protocol. With a lazy flick of his tail, :Zero Emissions: swept them underneath his iron claws. Slowly crushing them, he whispered "King Hippomnomnomnom supports progress wherever it can be found. He believes in a brighter tomorrow for the children of every nation and has personally guaranteed the elimination of 100% of production in Hinnom by turn 60." As the life fled from their bodies, :Zero Emissions: curled his lip into a sneer and said "We're well ahead of schedule."
With no Zmey in sight, I split up my giant stabbing robots. PD still stands no chance.
Here is my other stabbing robot
This is interesting. Arcoscephale has broken Mictlan's siege of their cap. Another ally in the fight against global climate change!
T'ien Ch'i begins the long, slow process of driving Mictlan out of their land.
Unfortunately for Lanka, their expedition party runs into the same force. T'ien Ch'i's troops have difficulty differentiating between monkey-ape-demon-ogres from the jungle and colossal three-headed fire breathing dragons and Lanka's force is butchered. TheDemon is penned in again.
T'ien Ch'i continues to reclaim its land from Mictlan.
Kugri has, for many turns, bestowed its gift upon an Avvite scout, allowing a plane crash to send lesser horrors to bring the wisdom and light of King Hippomnomnomnom to the lesser peoples of the world. But everything ends, and Kugri calls a plane crash home.
Fuck, stop picking these up!
An aside, I've been rehiring Master Gibur every three turns to help burn through my excess supply of W gems. Ghoul father is an interesting merc who's far more valuable in vanilla than in Awesome Mods and you can see Pan is using Dagan for a little extra research.
Look at all those glorious cross paths.
Just look at them! I'm sure A/W will come soon and then my lovelies will begin their inexorable march to Mictlan.
Enough teasing. Here it is. The fight you've all been waiting for!
In the left corner, weighing in at 23 lbs, with a reach of 4", the bomb from Hinnom, the flying assassin with a quack attack, fiiiiiiiiighting webfoots! And in the right corner, with a record of 1-0, the dash basher, master of the mystical, flying from out of deepest darkest Mictlan, turkey death squad leader, Teeeeooooooooyyyaaaaaoooooomqui!
Llllleeeeeeeeeet's get ready to rrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmble!
Turkey-Face Killah spends the first few rounds dancing around the ring. He's playing a defensive game while fighting webfoots blunders straight ahead. Will all this running around tire out the turkey terror?
The death squad from Mictlan, dancing like Black Swan, firing vine arrows at fighting webfoots as fighting webfoots looks to close the distance and batter the turkey to jerky.
What is he doing? He can't hope to hit anything with vine arrows in a storm like this!
And Teoyaoumqui's trainer is going crazy! He is frothing at the mouth screaming about interference from King Hippomnomnomnom's storm!
Oh nooooooooo! fighting webfoots lands a huuuuuuuge peck! And what's this? Teoyaoumqui sheds his turkey form! The gloves have come off now and he is out for blood!
But it is too late! Down goes the turkey, down goes the turkey!
King Hippomnomnomnom, may I ask you a question?
What's on your mind, *sad trombone*?
The Kobayashi Maru, sir.
Are you asking me if we're playing out that scenario now with the Zmeywaffe?
On the test sir... Will you tell me what you did? I would really like to know.
*sad trombone*, you are looking at the only pretender who ever beat the no-win scenario.
I convinced the other players to gang up on the leader and put up forge of the ancients to make super cheap artifacts like Aegis so I could save my people.
I changed the conditions of the game; got a commendation for original thinking. I don't like to lose.
Then you never faced that situation... faced death.
I don't believe in the no-win scenario.
In Hinnom, *sad trombone*, Jabin and this is a sweet gig move out to retake the provinces surrounding King Hinnomnomnomnom's capital.
Next to Histyra, scouting reveals seven units, two Zmey and, presumably, five shadow seers. I'm nervous about the shadow seers because they have S3 so they can teleport and they're all easily capable of magic duel which would probably succeed against Savnok as long as Lilli brings two.
In Zeburia, Lilli brings the pain. That is a lot of ozelotl. At least perpetual storm should keep them grounded, but they're still beefy demons with three attacks each.
In Winter Peaks, :Zero Emissions: tips the waitress well and heads back south to continue bringing knowledge to the poor, simple-minded folks of Mictlan.
One of the big dilemmas I have now is that there are multiple threats to deal with and only one Aegis. There are three Zmey out there, as well as a hundred ozelotl and a lab full of shadow seers next to my construction site. I expect this war to enter a bit of a grinding phase while Lilli is forced to retreat when irony or death and Schneeble make deeper inroads into her territory and Dexanth provides another distraction in her heartland.
The other big dilemma I have is that shadow seers will magic duel Savnok into a fine red paste. If only I had another giant who could teleport and was huge and beefy and oh, hello there!
Ornias is cloud trapezing onto the lab next door to stop Lilli from summoning reinforcements and because it will allow him to cloud trapeze again onto another Zmey next turn, whereas if he hit the ozelotl he would be stuck moving back to a lab for a turn when Lilli could potentially retaliate.
METAPHORICAL DHARMA VAN teleports onto the province south of Histyra to catch the Bane Lord that got away from Savnok.
Here is the result of Ritual of Rebirth. Welcome back big guy. We missed you. A neat feature here is that KING HIPPO JR keeps his extra holy levels from his former life as King Hippomnomnomnom's prophet. The other thing I like about this is that in the fluff for Hinnom, MA and LA (Ashdod and Gath) start worshipping the dead bodies of the Melqarts and Ba'als from EA so this is a nice nod to that flavor.
Let's take a look at the hall of fame, shall we? This also addresses a bet that was made regarding TheDemon's prophet. I'm sure there's a lesson there somewhere about throwing lpbux after monkeys.
Blood stones: 64
Cost: 312E, 476 slaves
Gems Generated: 539