Part 187: Hinnom - Turn 76
Having staled, this past turn is the single largest gem expenditure I've had yet. Summoning is seven cyclops, one Grigori, one kraken and one unit of mechanical men. Blood hunting was quite bad this turn and came in at 103 but that's just the vagaries of the virgin sacrifice trade. On the third screen you can see that King Hippomnomnomnom himself cracked Mictlan's last fort with his casting of Crumble and that his ancestral enemy, Peak Theorycrafting has finally met its grisly end.
After so many years of fighting, King Hippomnomnomnom feels a bit like he's lost an old friend. A rabid, bloodthirsty old friend out to murder all he holds dear with no thought ever at all for the little children of Hinnom, but an old friend no less. He rouses out a few hundred cases of the 1895 Om Perignomnomnom and the celebration lasts for a full week. Many years from now, the cluster of births around nine months after the defeat of Lanka will mystify demographic scientists and indeed it may seem a small, even insignificant, thing now, but at its height, the Lankan empire accounted for the death of innumerable brave Melqarts and to this day, KING HIPPO JR. cannot mention it without a slight hitch in his sepulchral voice. Goodnight Lanka. You were too much rage and stabbing for this world.
immolationsex rolled on through the desert. Its dead red dust caked his hooves. He was ancient. His ways a mystery to those minor devils and demons who worshiped him, to say nothing of the tribes of mewling mortals whose homes he casually turned to ash in passing. Some demon lords took great delight in the suffering they caused, but for immolationsex it meant nothing. He burned because he was.
He had mastered the secrets of flame and death and blood. His mere presence sent the finest armies of entire empires fleeing. And what did not flee his magic burnt. As he walked, those twisted bodies rose up behind him and followed. Their burnt skulls an offering to his power. Their shambling lurch a warning for those who could read it: run!
immolationsex, however, did not run. He never ran. He had forever. He rolled through the desert. He had collected the boy's uncles trapped in this place. He was finished with this place. The boy valued his family and immolationsex knew where the boy's next uncle was imprisoned. And so he went.
The red dust of this desert was death to most. Foolish mortal mages who sought a piece of his power. Supplicant demon princelings who could not conceive of a being that did not need them. All had spent their last moments choking on the fine red dust of this place. But not the boy. The boy had obeyed the ancient formalities. And then, with casual ease he had stepped over and through the circle of power and blood that protected him and into this place. Unaffected by the heat or the dust. A tub of ranch dressing under his arm and a single word on his lips. "dude."
immolationsex had been bound by something older and more powerful than the rituals. And so he rolled on. As he rolled through the gate, gibbering madling void creatures flung themselves at him. And burned. A vastness sped toward him and shriveled to nothing; its great glowing, whirling orbs winking out in sequence as immolationsex's magic drained it of life. This new place drove things of the world mad. It flaunted the laws of physics. But it bent and then broke before his power. The illithid natives' feeble whips of magic licked at the edge of immolationsex's mind. Their magic sought his soul and found only fire and death. Like everything, they burned and immolationsex walked slowly on.
In the distance, a vast fortress of shimmering arcane magic sloped away into the ether. At its gate, a huge Void Lord, powerful beyond measure in its own right, stood in immolationsex's path. Raw magic foamed about it as ancient runes carved into its flesh by the last Pantokrator glowed. The Void Lord channeled the full eldritch power of the void. The fabric of reality bent and tore as the arcane blast smashed against immolationsex. But immolationsex did not slow or pause. He only took another step and the Void Lord too burned. Its runes of power melting and running, pure magic in silver trails dripping over the Void Lord's charred husk. immolationsex rolled through the fortress, the lines of magic melting like the old Pantokrator's runes of binding until finally the whole vast construct dissolved into pools beneath immolationsex's cloven hooves.
He walked on toward a dim figure chained in glowing manacles at the heart of the former citadel. As he walked, the silver pools of liquid magic coalesced and his hoofs began to raise little puffs of red dust with each step.
You could make the argument that Griffen is the best Grigori in the vanilla game because he can cast Wish with only boosters (S5+ring of sorcery+ring of wizardry+robe of the magi+starshine skullcap=S9). As it stands, he's still nothing to sneeze at. He trades 4 in another path for an extra level of astral and is otherwise your standard absolutely terrifying, not quite enough HP SC just like the rest of the Grigori. Fun fact: Savnok is Griffen's son!
This is my declaration of war. I wonder if anyone notices!
The last of TheDemon's provinces and not a single monkey fighting for Peak Theorycrafting to defend it.
Somehow Schneeble ended up with the lion's share of the spoils. I'm sure it's all for the best really.
In Ferran Mountains, Zmeythansa Air storms Mictlan's last fortress.
My new ! Look how shiny it is. Look how not A/W it is!
It is still awesome, and it is going straight to Histyra to forge something cool.
Speaking of Histyra, there's a whole lot of artifact forging going on! Might as well take advantage of Forge for as long as it's up, right? PRESIDENT WILLIAM TAFT takes advantage of King Hippomnomnomnom's store of fire gems to
This is, arguably, the best head piece in the game. It provides a +5 boost to magic resistance and Awe, a boost to prot and allows the wearer to raise a mummy every turn. Plus, it is styling! Of course there's the small downside of never being able to take it off, but then again with a hat like this why would you want to? And with Forge, a hammer and a construction site all this was mine for the low low price of 12 fire gems and 12 pearls!
This is another item with the small downside of never being able to take it off plus a minor horror marking issue. But you can shoot banefire! PEW PEW PEW!
The Flailing Hands are another one of the answers to the trivia about +penetration items. There's no real reason to forge them though given that the regular D booster is also a two handed staff that costs 10 D gems to forge.
The Summit is badass. Unfortunately it never gets forged because it's also expensive and single target only. But I love you and I want you to have nice things.
I guess deciding who lives and dies could be useful. Really I forged it because it fits with the Egypt theme we started with Amon Hotep. The Ankh is, I think, most useful for communion based nations. You can bring it along on the offensive and suddenly all those guys that rain of stones killed are back and better than ever!* *not actually better at all.
+2 to fire magic and +2 to astral magic, autocasts solar brilliance and all it costs is horror marks and a 15% chance of getting assassinated by a horror every turn? What's not to love? Seriously though, +2 to astral in a miscellaneous slot is huge and this allows you to turn an S4 caster into a wish caster. Then you script returning and cast wish with impunity.
This is another artifact that's in the running for "best item in the game." It lets you teleport a commander and their troops anywhere on the map every turn without needing a lab. That is just absurd.
immolationsex rolls slowly on to release the last of the Grigori while Zauper calls up a band of Demon Knights.
In Comsath, Mictlan's forces are finally defeated but I don't have a scout there so you'll have to wait for irony.or.death to post about it or for Schneeble to do a special "cataclysmic battle" post.
Finally, Donkringel pays his respects to a distant nephew, NO COUNTRY FOR FAT MEN, and then goes to harvest death gems from the vine men rebellion KATE aroused. Get it? Aroused? I'll just show myself out.