Part 77: Turn 65Turn 65
Roll up, roll up, ladies and gentleclowns! This is it, the main attraction! The show you've all been waiting for! The battle for Kirkostaculis! For real this time!
No mind hunts this turn, with everybody who has the gear being teleported home.
Jellybean, with the dark skies turning his 20 morale into 13, walks most of the way to the gunline under fire and then changes his mind and walks all the way back. Luckily there was a province nearby to retreat to, but I can't help but feel like his luck will run out sooner or later if he keeps losing battles in enemy territory.
Clowns walk around and accidentally step on some barbarians.
Our old friend Trito is back and accidentally steps on some militia.
Nudge stands on a fortress for a turn inside Anglian territory. He'll be long gone before anybody in the fort comes out to see what's going on.
The time has come! Here's those perfidious Anglians, knocking on our gates and ready to take our land.
Our knife, club, and pie throwing wall defenders. These get a bunch of extra protection and unlimited ammo from being on the walls.
Just look at this absolute squad of units. A veritable bakery(butchers?) of beefcakes. Thousands of HP all lined up, ready to kick some ass.
From minute 1, Anglia is sending a whole lot of shit our way. This is before arrow fend is even up, so these ones actually hurt.
The first casualty though is an eagle bearing its brain busted by a bearded beauty.
We put arrow fend up, Anglia put flaming arrows up, and clowns come streaming through the gates towards the cannonline.
Googoo here is S4 base (the boost is from Light Of The Northern Star), and it's time to d-d-d-d-duel
Scratch two (boosted) S1 bad guys, and Googoo survives flawlessly. It's not risk free, but like I said it feels real good to mow down S1s with S4s.
The battle lines meet! Several humans are instantly pulverised.
Okay it's getting real chaotic now. Anglia put up fog warriors but it doesn't do shit against our magic weapons. One of the queens of air is standing a bit too far forward, takes a couple of kicks, and flies off before the fight has even started really. Thunderstrike, blade wind, and magma bolts are flying through the air.
That's darkness, heat from hell, relief, light of the northern star, and storm. But ultimately, despite the massive amount of evocation spam nothing can stop the tide of clowns and the other elemental queens fly off too.
Victory! All of anglia's human mages are dead even if their most valuable summons made it out. None of our mages even died! Losing a quarter of our enormous clowns is painful but under the circumstances I'll take it!
The queens are all still alive and could fly anywhere so we're not safe yet - all these squads have a good quantity of enormous clowns with them. Luckily we have a lot of geared mindhunters nearby and these queens don't have pockets full of antimagic gear so should be easier targets. I wish I'd thought to take this province from behind them.
Jellybean, hopefully learning from lessons from his recent defeat will continue to bumble around.
Looks like Trito has come back with a friend actually, two tarresques now??? I suppose all we can do really is hope they bump with a big squad of big clowns or we get lucky with a mindhunt.
These clowns are still sitting here on the fort, hopefully we'll be able to storm next turn. A mage goes back next door to pick up some more newly recruited clowns.
We take the LAST MANTIS PROVINCE fucking finally. Fucking finally.
About to retake this throne under Karanaac that Anglia took from us too. They've been preaching and I don't fancy fighting in negative candles under dark skies if I can at all help it so I'm preaching back.
Anyway I'm real fucking happy about this turn. Dark skies is annoying but I'm only 3 turns away from researching it and casting it myself seems a lot easier than trying to dispel it.
Apart from that not much is going on, it's time to push into Anglia properly and see if I can't take this eastern-most throne from them now!