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Donkey Kong 64

by Dazzling Addar

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Original Thread: Donkey Kong 64: In which we learn 3741 ways to prepare a banana [VLP]

If you liked this LP, you might also like Super Mario 64 by Dr. Meat, Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater by Chip Cheezum, General Ironicus and Illbleed by supergreatfriend

This LP is also available on the Internet Archive! Some video LPs are kindly hosted by the folks on archive.org. This means the original source videos will always be available for download or watching, even if the original video hosts are no longer available!

Introduction




KURRENT KOLLECTIBLE KOUNT: ALL KOMPLETE, EVERYTHING KOLLECTED, K. ROOL DEFEATED, GAME KOMPLETE!

Golden Bananas: 201 ***101% KOMPLETE***
Bananas: 3500 ***KOMPLETE***
Banana Medals: 40 ***KOMPLETE***
Banana Fairies: 20 ***KOMPLETE***
Crowns: 10 ***KOMPLETE***
Blueprints: 40 ***KOMPLETE***
Boss Keys: 8 ***KOMPLETE***
*NINTENDO COIN ACQUIRED*
*RAREWARE COIN ACQUIRED*

Donkey Kong 64 is a platformer/collectathon that was released by Rareware for the N64 on Halloween, 1999. It was later rereleased on 12/06/99 packaged with an N64 Expansion Pak, which does all sorts of technical stuff to make the game look really nice. At least, by N64 standards. The game primarily revolves around Donkey Kong and his four other Kong friends and their quest to obtain as many bananas as humanly (simianly?) possible. It is thematically quite similar to Super Mario 64 and the Banjo Kazooie games. The emphasis is on exploration and the obtainment of collectables.

It's one of my favorite games of all time, if only by virtue of pure nostalgia DON'T LISTEN TO ME IT'S ALL SHIT. It looks great and sounds great, and while it suffers from N64 controls, it plays well enough and there is an absolute metric ton of things to do in it.

I will be playing the game in its entirety, getting 100% collectables. Commentary will be voiced, and I will endeavor to be informative to both my audience and co-commentators, who have varying levels of knowledge of the game. I have not quite figured out my update schedule as of yet, but I'll try to do it at very least once or twice a week.

Videos

















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~Fan Stuff!~


-First Aid Kite shows us the dangers of losing one's way on a barrel blast course


-KevinCow dabbles in horrifying things and let us speak no more of this


-First Aid Kite says what we're all thinking: fire the damn barrel already!


-Crack Spider fulfills a request for a picture of Spider Lanky in a somewhat... unexpected way.


-Rabid Golfcart hits us with some amazing pixel art that I can't remember the context of BUT WHO CARES IT'S GREAT


-First Aid Kite is the best poster in the whole damn thread


-Internet Kraken gives us a close look at what I do on weekends when feeling stressed


-Epee Em describes what I see in every ink blot test with uncanny detail

~Music~

To the best of my ability, I'll post all of the tracks that we've heard so far in the game. Some of the more obscure tracks might be missing, though. Be sure to let me know if I missed one!
THE MOTHERFUCKING DK RAP
Menu Theme
DK Overture: Opening Song
DK's House and surrounding area
Cranky's Lab
Bonus Barrel Bonanza!
DK Isle
K.Lumsy's Prison
Jungle Japes Lobby
Jungle Japes (give this one a listen, it's one of my favorites)
Jungle Japes: variations
Battle Arena
Funky Kong's Armory
Rambi Running Rampant!
Snide's HQ
Riding the Mine Kart
Troff n' Scoff, those fuckers
Boss Intro
Jungle Japes Boss Battle: ArmyDillo
Angry Aztec Lobby
Angry Aztec
Candy Kong's House of Class
Strong Kong!
Rocketbarrel Blast!
The Get Out Temple
Angry Aztec Boss Battle: Dogadon
Frantic Factory Lobby
Frantic Factory
Racing the Mini-car
Frantic Factory Boss Battle: Mad Jack
Gloomy Galleon Lobby
Gloomy Galleon
Enguarde's Theme
Gloomy Galleon: In a sunken ship
Gloomy Galleon Boss Battle: Pufftoss
Fungi Forest Lobby
Fungi Forest
Darkness falls on Fungi Forest
Forest Minecart Ride
At the top of the giant mushroom
Fungi Forest Boss: Dogadon, Once again
Crystal Caves
Melody of the Caves
Puzzles in the cabins
Run, Lanky, Run!
This gorilla's gone
Crystal Caves Boss: Armydillo Mk 2(definitely one of the best tracks in the game
Creepy Castle Lobby
Creepy Castle
Creepy Castle Dungeons
Creepy Castle Mine Kart Ride
Other Creepy Castle Areas
HYAHAUKAGUAHAH: King Kut Out
Hideout Helm Lobby
Hideout Helm: Stop the Blast-o-matic!
Hideout Helm: Pursuing King K.Rool
K.Rool's escape
Hail to the King!
Final Battle with King K.Rool
The Kongs are victorious!
JIGGLE PHYSICS AGH

~Playable Kongs~

Over the course of the game, we'll rescue DK's missing friends from incarceration, and gain the priviledge of playing as them. They each have unique abilities and upgrades that will be vital to our quest.

Donkey Kong:

The leader of the bunch, you know him well. DK's responsible for collecting yellow bananas. His weapon is the coconut shooter, which is capable of opening coconut switches, and is fairly powerful. He can also access Barrel Blast courses by using DK Pads. By jumping into his special DK barrel, he'll become invincible as long as his crystal coconut supply lasts. Strangely, DK is the only kong capable of pulling heavy levers, and he needed a potion from cranky to do so... His attacks do a fairly high amount of damage and he's got a good running attack. DK plays the bongos with great zeal.

Diddy Kong:

DK's little buddy, Diddy is smaller and significantly better at jumping than his bigger friend. He has a unique double jump move and his backflip goes quite high. Diddy collects red bananas. His weapon, the Peanut Popgun, can open peanut switches and boasts a wide effective range. Diddy can use the Chimpy Charge move to attack enemies, and bash in certain gates and switches. Diddy plays a mean electric guitar. By hopping into a Diddy Barrel, he dons his jetbarrels, which bestow him the gift of flight and kickin' rock music at the cost of crystal coconuts. Diddy Pads allow him to jump yet higher than normal, in what I am convinced is a shameless re-use of the coding used for Kazooie's Shock Jump Pads.

Lanky Kong:

The best Kong. His super stretchy arms make short work of enemies. Lanky collects blue bananas and uses the Grape Shooter as his shooter. The most technologically backwards weapon, not to mention probably the least painful, it nonetheless dispatches bees with great efficiency and opens up grape switches. Lanky uses the Orangstand to handstand his way up steep slopes and move a bit faster. If he uses a Lanky pad, he inflates himself like a simian balloon and can rise to great heights... somehow. When he hops into a Lanky Barrel, he gains the ability to handstand around really fast. Like, superfast. It's a pretty neat ability, but like all barrel moves, it requires crystal coconuts.

Tiny Kong:

The token girl of the group, Tiny's short and spunky. She doesn't have a lot in the way of attack power, but she's quick and can stunlock enemies surprisingly easily. She also has a couple of moves that make her great for general exploration. She collects purple bananas and uses the Feather Bow, which is the weakest shooter in terms of attack power. It's also a pain in the ass to shoot straight because arrows tend to bob and weave- it doesn't actually affect the trajectory, but the graphical touches kind of work against you here and make it tough to know where it's going. Tiny's signature move is Mini Monkey, which she can activate when she hops into a Tiny Barrel. This shrinks her down to pint-size, allowing her to access new areas. Her second ability, Ponytail Twirl, is exceptionally useful when you need to jump around. Essentially ripping off Dixie Kong, she uses her silly hair as a propeller to slow her descent and cover impressive distances in the air. Exemplifying rareware's laziness, Tiny can hop on a Tiny Pad and teleport to another, designated pad and is essentially a sixth, Tiny only bananaporter. Stay classy, guys.

Chunky Kong:

Not far behind Lanky in the "best kong" race, Chunky is big, hulking fellow. He's a bit of a gentle giant, though it might be more accurate to say "timid" giant. Chunky scavenges for Green Bananas, unique with DK in that you might find bananas of this hue in nature. His weapon of choice is the Pineapple Launcher, a bazooka that's the most powerful shooter in the game and makes a wonderfully satisfying "kathoom" sound upon being fired. Chunky is more or less tied for Lanky in offensive power, he sacrifices range for sheer muscle and is capable of taking apart the enemy quite quickly. Proving that changing size can be a cool superpower, Chunky's special barrel ability is Hunky Chunky. If he hops into a chunky barrel, he'll grow to an enormous superkong capable of tremendous feats of strength. He can also use the Primate Punch move, which knocks down gates, hits switches, and can take out certain enemies normal attacks can't. Chunky Pads scattered throughout the game can be used to turn Chunky invisible- not his clothing, though. One of the more bizarre powers, it seems less about moving stealthily about and more about just making random invisible things appear.

~Friends, Allies, and Cranky Kong~

Even if they're not actively out questing for bananas, DK has many friends that are more than willing to give him a helping hand. They will be instrumental in our quest- some more than others.

Squawks: Squawks the parrot is a helpful fellow who will provide us with information, hints, and the occasional golden banana throughout the game. A mainstay of the series, Squawks has been with us since Donkey Kong Country 1, always lending a helping wing.FUCK THIS MOTHERFUCKING BIRD IN THE ASS

Cranky Kong: While his traditional role in the DKverse has been to lay down wanton emotional abuse upon DK and his friends under the thin guise of "advice", Cranky has decided to take a more active stance in stamping out the Kremling menace in DK64. For a couple of coins, Cranky will bestow us with an upgrade-enabling potion. He says he has a surprise for us if we collect 15 banana medals, but who knows what he means by that?

K.Lumsy: A giant Kremling who fell afoul of the King, K.Lumsy is a timid, gentle soul, despite his alarming choice of headwear. Donkey graciously agreed to help the poor fellow out, and in a fit of joy, the massive crocodile managed to trigger a seismic burst strong enough to open the path forward. Maybe if we bring him some of those keys he mentioned that will happen again...?

Wrinkly Kong: This kindly old soul once saved the Kong's game and offered helpful advice at the Kong Kollege. Alas, the inexorable march of the years has robbed her of an earthly body. Even so, she will not let her death deter her from helping out her young friends. If we visit one of her doors in the level lobbies of the game, she'll reveal the location of a golden banana. Helpful for a newer player, but most likely, we won't be seeing much of her in this LP.

Funky Kong: Formerly a laconic surfer dude with a penchant for air transport, Funky is now a laconic arms dealer with a penchant for kicking reptilian ass. He's more than happy to supply DK and his pals with a whole arsenal of fruit-and-nut-based weaponry for a couple of banana coins.

Rambi: One of the Kong's many animal friends, Rambi, like Squawks, has been around for a while. When DK hops into a Rambi crate, the powerful rhinoceros will arrive to smash things up.

Snide: A weasel-like fellow of indeterminate taxonomy, Snide is a top-notch engineer and once worked for K.Rool, developing the krazed krokodile king's Blast-o-matic. However, he was fired due to a tragic case of racial profiling. Now Snide's business is revenge- for every blueprint of the Blast-o-matic we hand over, he'll reward us with a golden banana. He also made a remark about these blueprints buying us some valuable time... what could he mean by that?

Troff n' Scoff: These obese sons of bitches serve one purpose and one purpose alone- to make getting in to boss fights as painful as possible. They'll unlock the door to the boss- but only after they've had their fill of our precious bananas.

Candy Kong: One of Rareware's many contributions to the skewing of young men's sexual urges, Candy Kong is a horrifying, if helpful, member of DK's cadre of acquaintances. For a few coins, she'll sell us immensely handy musical instruments- and she'll also upgrade our melon bar. Hell yeah!

Enguarde: The second animal buddy in DK64, Enguarde is a cool blue swordfish. Only Lanky can hop in the Enguarde crate, for whatever reason, but Enguarde can swim quickly, make picturesque leaps from the water, and bash in switches and treasure chests.

~Vile Scaly Foes~

The Kremling forces have mobilized en masse to thwart our daring banana recovery operation. We'll meet a variety of enemies throughout the game who are intent on our destruction.

King K.Rool: The game's main villain, K.Rool schemes to destroy DK Isle by blasting it with a giant laser beam. To keep his archnemesis Donkey Kong distracted, he initiated a plan to steal his bananas and kidnap his friends. It's up to DK to unravel this dastardly plot.

Gnawty Beavers: Mischievous little rodents, beavers aren't scaly, but they are assuredly vile. A good smack from any weapon or attack will deal with them easily enough. They make a good deal of noise as well, so they're among our least threatening enemies. ...for now.

Zingers: These insect menaces hover just out of reach, occasionally divebombing passerby. A good hit from a shooter will send them packing, and they can be avoided fairly easily. Some Zingers drop green orange grenades.

Sergeant Klump: A rotund member of the Kremling Klan, Klump's scaly armor and considerable bulk protects him from most attacks. He's also an explosives expert (or so I'm told), giving him a potent offense. An orange grenade takes care of him easily enough, and he drops three upon expiration.

Kasplat: Some of K.Rool's toughest minions, Kasplats have endurance and attack power to spare. They'll attack by punching or creating a powerful shockwave. They drop blueprints when defeated - and they're handily color coded by mohawk, so you know which one to take out with which Kong. They get their name from their unpleasant habit of hocking very noisy loogies. They can be taken out easily enough with sustained shooter fire.

Kritter: While a general step up from the beavers, these run of the mill minions of King K.Rool aren't tough at all. They seem more suited to scientific (of the variety) pursuits than combat (kombat? Or am I confusing my franchises?), as DK and his crew will wipe the floor with them.

Klaptraps: Far and away one of the Kong's most annoying foes, Klaptraps are small and quick, but most irritatingly, when knocked out, their teeth take on a mind of their own and continue to fight our apeish heroes. The teeth don't drop watermelon slices, either.

Kremlings in a barrel: Taking advantage of the Kong's unconditional love of all things barrel-related, these krafty kremlings have disguised themselves as barrels and lie in wait for the enemy to stumble upon them and take them unawares. Their disguises also afford them some considerable armor: only an orange or a musical instrument will send them packing. There are also a variant that come in TNT barrels, which will essentially act as suicide bombers. These guys are no threat whatsoever, because they only do one slice of damage, and drop a slice when they explode.

DEADLY FUCKING SAND: Not an enemy, per se, but Angry Aztec is flooded with burning hot rivers of sand. It's a giant goddamn pain in the keester, and sadly, nothing can really be done about it.

Mecha Zingers: Mechanized versions of the Kong's buzzy nemesis, these robotic bees hover around and drop oranges. They're also a bit more durable than the normal variety, taking multiple shots from a shooter to down.

Wind-up Kritters: Most likely a harmless toy gone terribly wrong due to Kremling Science, Wind-up Kritters are invulnerable to most forms of attack and need a heavy explosive or greater to deactivate. They have a nasty tendency to spawn-camp bananaporters. Assholes.

Living Toys: Dominoes and dice animated and given life (and limbs) cause DK and pals grief in the testing area, but they're weak enough to be safely ignored as a threat.

Spiky Club Assholes: I don't know the name of these dudes, but they're bad news through and through. Sporting a gigantic club and a ridiculous helmet, these annoying cockbags swing at you for 2 slices a hit. They are also nigh invulnerable- only a musical instrument or a crystal coconut charge attack will put paid to them. They drop slices on defeat, though, so sometimes it's worth it if they manage to broadside you.

BDSM Starfish: These bizarre sea star fetishists dart about the deeps, ramming you and cracking their whips. Since Kongs can't attack underwater and they don't show up in an area with Enguarde, they're invulnerable, and they can be very tough to dodge.

Exploding Pufferfish: These suicidal foes are a giant pain in the ass. When they puff up and explode, not only is the immediate area around them affected, they shoot out several spines of questionable hit detection. Dodging them is more or less up to luck- if you're not far away, it's anyone's guess if you get hit or not.

Mushroommen: These strange blue fellows hang about in Fungi Forest, attempting to blend in to the natural environment by disgusing themselves with mushroom hats. They're quite crafty, but not much cop otherwise.

Skeletal Kremlings: These zombified pirates are quite spooky, but they make quite a bit of noise and they aren't a whole lot tougher than your average enemy. They stalk the night in Fungi Forest, but the Spiky Club Assholes are a far greater cause for concern.

Fucking goddamn bats: Bats flit about the dark places of the earth, often in caves and tunnels. They're much like zingers, but they present a smaller target, are harder to see, and are much more likely to attack or otherwise make a nuisance of themselves and dart around everywhere. Good god.

Killer Vampire Tomatoes: These anomalies of botany only appear once to threaten the hapless worm's apple house, but they're notable in that only Hunky Chunky has the sheer muscly might to put paid to their evil. Even if they are vampires, tomatoes can't really stand up to being squished.

Deal-with-it Fireguys: These shade-toting fireballs appear only once to menace the racing rabbit's TNT barrel (seriously I have no idea either). Chunky's hunkitude is so much that he can punch them out of existence with no ill effects, but they're more concerned with igniting that barrel than facing his wrath...

Ghosties: In an attempt to fit the mood, some Kremling underlings have taken to draping themselves in ratty white sheets and pretending to be ghosts. They're a little less than frightening, but they're very enthusiastic! WooOOOoOOooOO!

Flies: While you might not think that flies would really qualify as an enemy type, when Tiny is small and in a trash can, they get a bit uppity. They're very difficult to hit, even with homing ammo, and will occasionally divebomb you. Fortunately, they only pop up once!

The Resident Demon: An honest to goodness ghost, this powerful Kremling apparition is probably some distant ancestor of K.Rool's. He patrols the mines deep below Creepy Castle. DK can't fight back while in a mine cart, so he must dodge the skeletal fiend's fireballs and fists while... collecting coins. Look it was a good idea for a little while okay?!

~Bosses~

Each level has a boss battle in it, which you access by surrendering your hard earned normal bananas to Troff n' Scoff. The toughest of the Kong's foes, it will take more than brute simian strength to defeat these contenders. We'll need quick reflexes, brainpower, and a liberal dose of explosives to prevail and earn their valuable boss keys.

ArmyDillo: The boss of Jungle Japes, this cybernetic armadillo is a powerful contender. He attacks by launching fireballs and rolling about in his iron shell. A flaw in his design requires him to peek out from under his shell to see his surroundings, rendering him vulnerable to his one weakness: a barrel of explosives in close proximity to his face.

Dogadon: Dogadon lurks in one of Angry Aztec's many temples. He doesn't seem too concerned with the Kongs and their struggle, at least until Diddy thoughtlessly smooshes one of his kids. Despite being a literal dragon-fly with fiery breath, Dogadon's tendency to stop on the platform to admonish the cheeky chimp for his callous act of murder renders him vulnerable to TNT barrels. In practical terms, a borderline carbon copy of the Armydillo fight, except even less interesting. The battle arena was more entertaining, though!

Mad Jack: The cream of the crop in terms of Frantic Factory's defective toys, Mad Jack is less jack-in-the-box and more superweapon. Sporting high mobility, great size, the ability to fling fireballs (of course), and a variety of other tricks made him one of the Kong's most powerful foes. Tiny, unable to injure him directly, used the battle arena against him by activating switches to electrify the platforms he landed on. A real bitch of a fight, thanks to the camera!

Pufftoss: Presumably some kind of misplaced Protoss bioweapon, Pufftoss makes his home in one of Gloomy Galleon's many coves. Attacking with fireballs, shockwaves, mines, and yet more fireballs, Lanky Kong is forced to take to his coconut motorboat to effectively dodge the onslaught of weaponry. With no TNT barrels handy in the trackless wastes of the raging, stormy sea, Lanky instead uses several fortuitously placed electrified pylons to defeat the spluttering menace.

Dogadon, part deux: Coming back for another round, Dogadon finds Chunky Kong in a somewhat oddly placed lava cavern in Fungi Forest (of all places). Initially, Chunky's battle with Dogadon goes much the same as Diddy's, but as the fight progresses, Chunky must use all of his righteous chunk, hunk, and funk to defeat the angry parent, cowing the dragon once and for all with a mighty primate punch.

Armydillo, part deux: Beginning to find a shortage of able-bodied boss-like folks to throw at the kongs, the Kremlings opt to rebuild and upgrade Armydillo to buy some more time. Meeting Donkey Kong once again in the depths of Crystal Caves, the mechanical armadillo uses the same tactics as he did back in Jungle Japes, eventually making use of new-found powers of rocket-propelled flight and even a giant missile launcher, but DK's barrel throwing skills make short work of him.

King Kut Out: At the end of their rope, the Kremlings patch together a lamebrained scheme to waylay the Kong family with a giant cardboard facsimile of their ruler. Incredible as it may sound, this construction was powerful enough to be one of the more difficult bosses in the game, toting laser beams, and more dangerously, the ability to dodge out of the way of incoming Kong Kannon attacks, leaving our heroes stranded outside the castle walls. Once again, the camera proves to be our most deadly foe.

King K. Rool: The king of the kremlings is something of an enigma. In the past he has always taken on a different guise when attempting to take over Kong Islands- first as a monarch, then as a pirate captain, and finally a mad scientist. Whatever costume he dons this time, we know we'll be in one for one hell of a fight!

~Collectibles~

As has been belabored in both the videos and the thread, the main purpose of our silly 3D quest is to collect everything that is not nailed down. The doodads we need to retrieve are many and varied.

Golden Bananas: The bread and butter of our trinket banquet, there are 25 golden Bananas in each level, 5 for each Kong. We need these to appease B.Locker and get into new levels. More importantly, K.Rool stole them and we need them back.

Bananas: Regular, run of the mill bananas are important as well. There's 500 in each stage, 100 for each Kong. Their most practical use is feeding Troff n' Scoff so they can let us in to the boss room. They come in three varieties: single bananas, banana bunches which count for five, and banana balloons, which must be shot from the sky with some shooter action for 10 bananas.

Banana Medals: Collecting 75 normal bananas will net us a Banana Medal. Cranky says that if we collect 15 of these we'll get a nice surprise, but knowing Cranky, god only knows what that is.

Boss Keys: Awarded to us upon defeating one of K.Rool's bosses, these will turn the locks on K.Lumsy's cage. He'll be so tickled whenever we get rid of one, he'll do a dance of seismic proportions and unlock a new lobby for us to explore.

Crowns: When we survive a battle arena, we gain a Crown for our troubles. They don't seem to have any practical use, but they're golden enough to be worth something. There's one Crown per stage (2 on DK Isle).

Blueprints: These color coded plans for a doomsday device are dropped by Kasplats, K.Rool's strongest footsoldiers. We can turn them in to Snide for a golden banana, but there might be another reward, too...

Banana Fairies: The Kremling's less-than-graceful arrival on DK island had some unexpected consequences. The resulting tremors scared the peaceful banana fairy population to the point of distraction, and they fled to the far corners of DK Isle. At the Queen's behest, our Kongs are using their special magical camera (a sort of Banana Obscura) to recapture the fairies and bring them back. Each one returned nets us an upgrade to our crystal coconut and film carrying capacity.

Nintendo Coin: This hard-won bit of currency sports the Nintendo 64 Logo. It doesn't seem to serve a purpose right now, but...

Rareware Coin: The Nintendo Coin's counterpart, the Rareware coin proudly bears the company's emblem- or at least it bore it proudly back in their hayday. Now, it's more of a mark of shame. Who knows what this thing does?

~Expendables~

These items will help us a great deal on our quest, but they're somewhat finite in nature and serve more of a purpose than filling out our totals screen.

Banana Coins: Currency on the DK isles, Banana coins are used to buy all manner of tools and upgrades from friendly Kongs not taking direct part in our Bananaganza... and Cranky, too, I guess. There's a finite number of coins in the game, but they're not counted on the totals screen... so fuck 'em.

Ammo: Funky Kong's hooked us up with some anti-reptile ordinance, but like anything, it needs ammunition to fire. While every Kong's ammunition type is unique, ammo refills are universal and refill 5 projectiles per box. Originally we could only hold 50 shells at maximum, but Funky has hooked us up with an ammo belt that allows us to carry up to 100. A subsequent upgrade has us holding a maximum of 200 shells! Let's go hog wild!

Homing Ammo: Another of Funky's upgrades, homing ammo will track enemies and hit them even if our aim isn't 100%. While this sounds great, Homing Ammo doesn't hit the things that really need to be homed in on- those blasted banana balloons! It also makes shooting things other than enemies impossible if foes are around- they'll home in on them whether you like it or not. Necessary in some spots, a hindrance in most others.

Oranges: Due to some quirk of evolution on DK Isles, or perhaps some mad experimentation courtesy of Cranky Kong, the oranges we pick up function as grenades. They don't serve any real exploratory purpose like the shooters do, but some enemies are invulnerable to conventional methods of attack and need a lethal dose of vitamin C to put them down.

Watermelon Slices: Our health bar, like most things in this game, is represented by fruit. Our melon has four slices to it, and each time we take a hit, we lose one. Fortunately, enemies drop these pretty much 100% of the time, and a Tag Barrel will refill our health to maximum, so bring on the pain! Surplus slices can be found in crates at certain points in a given level. Starting the game, we only had one Melon, but Candy hooked us up with a spare, so we can take twice the punishment. Another upgrade, courtesy of Candy Kong, has put our bar at a whopping 3 melons! We can pretty much do whatever the fuck now.

Crystal Coconuts: These shiny coconuts fuel the Kong's various barrel abilities. The more you have, the longer those abilities last, and you can pick them up while you have an ability triggered to sustain it longer. When we bring a fairy back to the Queen, will allow us to carry one more Crystal Coconut- it might not seem like much, but it adds up fast!

Headphones: While these aren't really a collectible or an expendable, there's one of these hidden in each level that will refill a Kong's instrument charges to full. Groovy!

Banana-skin film: This bizarre celluloid has the necessary properties to capture Banana Fairies. You can only use a camera so many times before it runs out of film, so it's a good idea to keep stocked up on this. A successful fairy capture will allow us to carry one more film canister.

~Barrel-and-Pad Fest '99~

Our Kongs have a variety of abilities, but they often need the help of a catalyst to manifest them. Case in point, pads and barrels will allow our simian heroes to perform all sorts of amazing feats.

Throwable Barrels: Including both your run of the mill and exploding kind, you can pick up these barrels and throw them at whatever Kremling minion you feel particularly nasty towards. Usually relegated to boss fights.

Tag Barrels: These barrels are scattered at opportune points throughout the game. Hopping in to one will let you switch the Kong you're playing as and top off your health, as well.

Bananaporters: These wonders of bananapunk technology allow for instantaneous transportation between two points. By stepping on two same-numbered pads and pressing Z, you can zip between the two locations without any of the legwork. Incredibly handy.

Training Barrels: While they only show up once in the game, these barrels are plastered with Cranky's sour puss and teach us some of DK's more advanced moves.

DK Pad: After visiting Cranky for the necessary potion, these pads can be used to launch DK into the stratosphere, where he can play one of the game's Barrel Blast courses. In these courses, you use cannon-like Blast Barrels to propel yourself from one barrel to the next, collecting stuff (of course!) along the way.

Diddy Pad: Undoubtedly reskinned Shock Jump Pads, these allow Diddy to use the Simian Spring and jump to great heights. He also seems to have a great deal of fun while doing it.

Lanky Pad: Apparently containing unhealthy amounts of helium, Lanky can tap into these and inflate himself into a Baboon Balloon. Cranky himself found the uses of this move dubious at best.

Tiny pad: Essentially an extra bananaporter just for Tiny, she can hop on this pad and instantly transport from one pad to another. Thrilling.

Chunky pad: One of the more bizarre upgrades, Chunky can become invisible at will with this pad. Useful for both avoiding prying eyes (prying eyes that don't mind floating clothes, at least) and for enticing hidden objects to come out.

Music Pads: These are scattered about the world, and if one plays the corresponding instrument on them, something remarkable will happen.

Bonus Barrels: These special barrels contain a minigame in them. If you complete that game successfully, the barrel will explode and leave behind an all-important golden banana. One of the game's major sources of consternation, we'll be seeing more of these than you can shake a palm frond at.

DK Barrel: When our main monkey hops into one of these, he'll emerge as an ABSOLUTELY INVINCIBLE superkong. A "Strong Kong", if you will. The advantages of this should be obvious.

Diddy Barrel: Housing the latest and greatest in transportation technology, when Diddy leaps into a barrel with his face on it, he'll don his signature jetpacks and take to the skies. Despite shoddy controls and an insatiable appetite for crystal coconuts, it's a lot of fun, and you can fire your popguns while flying, as well.

Lanky Barrel: Grants Lanky the ability to run about at superspeeds with his handstand.

Chunky Barrel: Conversely, enables the Hunky Chunky ability, causing Chunky to become huge, to do huge things. Hunk and chunk.

Tiny Barrel: Tiny lives up to her name when she finds a barrel with her face on it- using simian superscience, she miniaturizes and gains access to tight spaces. Interestingly enough, she loses no attack power when she's small.
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