Part 3: Episode III: In Which An Enemy is DisarmedEpisode III: In Which an Enemy is Disarmed
Music: Companthem - Gabriel
We're just going to jump straight into things here. Sisters Five through Two are ready to rumble against Zero. One is too cool for school to come down and mix it up just yet. I suspect her Intoner power may not include instant dry cleaning. Maybe if you got your own color scheme and stopped trying to be such a proto-Manah poser, this wouldn't be an issue, One.
Our objective here is fairly straightforward and not open to a lot of interpretation.
Despite the hype music and four-on-one odds, this battle is... pretty much impossible to lose and essentially a glorified cutscene. The sister's battle tactics is just flailing about spamming attack combos. Likewise, there's no counter-strategy beyond just spamming attacks back at them in turn. While this happens, the camera moves between all five sisters for a brief chat.
One semi-effective ability for this battle is blocking. Blocking consumes stamina depending on the severity of the attack guarded against. It's really only effective against smaller humanoid sized enemies. Bigger bruisers will just shatter right past Zero's defenses or have outright unblockable attacks. If a block is timed perfectly you can do a sort of parry to temporarily stun an enemy. I don't think I've ever actually done that on purpose. But hey, the mechanic is kind of there if you squint hard enough. Metal Gear Rising this ain't.
So... let's hear the Intoner clan's thoughts on Zero's recent actions.
So actually? I really don't have time for this right now!
I wouldn't bother packing for your trip, Two.
Huh? Why not? Are you gonna pack for me!?
No, I'm gonna kill you!
Two fights with a large sword similar in size to Zero's as she is not the most creative of Intoners.
A bird without freedom has no place in the skies.
You never did make any damn sense, Three.
Perhaps restraint is a source of happiness unto itself.
Would you just shut up and die already?
Three fights with a large pair of scissors to keep up her airs of being the creepy one and making me throw up a bit in my mouth remembering Clock Tower 3. Slice-and-dice! Snippiety-snap!
The real Zero would never do anything like this! We're family! Whatever's troubling you, I'll help however I can!
You'll help, huh? Well, I suppose there is ONE thing you can do for me... You can curl up and DIE!
Four fights with her latent kung fu skills (and a bit of help from a huge steel gauntlet.) As she is again, the most anime.
Whatever. Stop leering at me.
Oooh! I just love a sore loser...
Ugh, I get the worst headaches listening to you.
You poor thing, I'd love to let you rest your head on my magnificent bosom... But it seems like we're destined to fight instead. Fate can be such a cruel mistress...
Five fights with a giant cross-shaped claymore. They could have gone the low-brow route and made her use a staff. But c'mon. This is a classy game.
One item of note during this battle is, as always given enough treatment has been taken in Zero's patented blood soaking skin cleansing regiment, we can flip on Intoner Mode. However in doing so, all the remaining Intoner sisters will also flip on their own Murder Vocaloid Trigger for a neon spectacle of shrieking and flailing about.
So if you want to turn this battle into a real clusterfuck that may or may not make the game's engine have a massive stroke, this is always an option. But not really recommended or useful here.
What do you think? There's only enough room in this world for one Intoner.
And you'd kill your own sisters for that right?
...That's kind of what I'm doing, yeah.
It's not necessary to come even close to depleting any of the sisters' health in order to end the battle. The whole sequence is essentially timed to end after everyone has given their banter with Zero and will exit the stage shortly after their role ends. Onto the next round of cutscene-battle charades!
I suppose it's One's turn to take a crack at taking on the champ. In all hopes it won't involve her turning 50 stories tall and gaining the voice of a guy that smokes five packs of cigs a day. That was ridiculous enough the one time.
I was expecting ye olde rival counterpart duel in accordance with character action game law. Summoning a dragon from an otherworldly portal seems somewhat unsportsmanlike conduct. So umm... Mike surely must be done smacking around those Titans any time now...?
The final battle of the prologue is a boss battle against One's sidekick dragon: Gabriel. Michael... Gabriel... You'll gain no accolades in guessing the overall boss creature naming scheme in Drakengard 3.
That's no longer a dragon you've got there, One. It's just a monster!
Shut up! I'm not subject to your judgment, Sister! We Intoners swore to keep the world in balance. And now you seek all our power for yourself? It's shameful!
Yak yak yak yak. Shut up and DIE ALREADY!
So Gabriel. He stomps around slowly. Occasionally he'll attack. Zero does absolutely no damage beyond a sliver to him. All signs point to unwinnable cutscene boss! Or rather, survive for X:XX amount of time pseudo-boss. In this instance it's about a minute before the conflict concludes.
Out of nowhere Gabriel will decide to take a brief power nap. Dragon's operate on time different from humans. For the average person an hour or two of rest can leave one bright and refreshed the remainder of the day. A dragon power nap lasts all of about...
...2.5 seconds. Give or take a percentage of a second. Then he's right as rain and possibly a bit pissed for all the mosquito bite equivalent stabbing just before.
Uhh... That seems... problematic...
This sister murder campaign seemed like a bit better an idea when the massive Kamehameha firing dragon was not a factor in play. Hindsight and all that.
Oh hey, Michael. You've got red on you. It's nice you're here for dramatic effect to save the day. But, not to be judgmental but... maybe a minute ago before Zero lost an entire arm would have been a bit more effective? Red wouldn't have half-assed this so badly.
I'm not sure why all the dragons are suddenly equipped with beam cannons in the distant past. Perhaps it will turn out Drakengard's world is actually the distant future of Panzer Dragoon, bringing the series full circle of being a bad knock-off initially.
Teen Girl Squad team up to use their Intoner powers to block Michael's blast. Intoner's
It's the protagonist dragon sidekick of the main character. It's like you've never even played a video game.
In a related news story, that whole display by Michael the Dragon didn't actually do anything to cancel out Gabriel's follow-up coup de grâce against Zero.
And that lack of attentiveness goes about as well as to be expected as Michael and Zero plummet down one of the Cathedral City of Notspain's many ill-repaired roadway sinkholes. Somewhere out there is a grim dark fantasy Transportation Adviser shouting futility about the cut back on public works funding in favor of mass military transcription. They will regret this.
You truly through to kill the Intoners?
One has a nice laugh over Zero's defeat. Sure, several hundred loyal soldiers under your stewardship are dead and there's a good chance Zero will eventually return in some anime Kill Bill style revenge quest. But hah! That crazy sister sure got clowned just now. Good one!
And late title card! Scene! Thus concludes the prologue chapter of Drakengard 3.
Movie: Intoner Battle
Movie: Chapter 0 Conclusion
Michael Official Art - Tch. Drakengard dragons and their weird tail ends and weird tale ends.