Part 69: Episode L: This is a Story About Odd Ogre Operations
Episode L: This is a Story About Odd Ogre Operations
Once upon a time, many moons ago...
There was a beautiful Intoner and an elderly man.
The Intoner's only love in life was making dolls.
She loved it so, so, so, so very much.
It was an odd obsession, to be sure; one the elderly man would often worry about... if the mood struck him.
Welcome to Three's Prologue chapter. While One and Two had some rather plot relevant DLC prologues that gave the two a good bit of backstory... this is not the case with Three's prologue. At all. What we currently know about Three: She is a huge weirdo that likes making dolls and performs Umbrella Inc. level human experiments on the side. What we will learn by the end of this DLC about Three: Nope... that's all there was to that character. Even beyond that, this is probably the worst bit of the DLC prologues overall. We'll get to the details of why shortly...
In any case, we begin our tale a good half year and change before Zero's initial assault on the Cathedral City.
We immediately dive headlong into a campfire scene. Much like Two and Cent in the Land of Sands deciding to slum it in an ancient ruins... Uhh... Three? Octa? What are you doing camping out in the woods when you live here and have a perfectly nice home base shrine nearby? Weirdos.
Three's entourage during campfire segments include a pair of loyal Armisael doll followers. Let's see what's shakin' with these two.
You certainly have a way of losing yourself in your dolls, my lady. Such a pity. I can have any woman I desire thanks to my mighty member... and yet you are the only one who can push me over the white cliffs of joy. In this thick and turgid world, you, Lady Three, stand boldly above them all! Just once... Just ONCE... I wish my lady would open her pleasure barn to me while her dolls were watching. With my body, soul, and technique, I KNOW I would satisfy her as no man ever could! You simply cannot compare some splintered puppet to the majesty of old Octa!
I'll be sure to polish you boys up later.
Octa... C'mon, man. Have some decency. Don't do it in front of the dolls. They've got men's souls trapped in them. I mean... I know you don't know that yet at this point in time. But the fact still remains. That's just weird, guy. I'm sure the other Armisael agrees.
Good heavens. What are we going to do with you, Lady Three? I stop keeping tabs on you for just one minute... And now you've gone and scared up this horde of little monsters!
These are my... soldiers.
Two is hardly a horde, Octa. Now the 48 where that came from...? That's another story. Speaking of Octa, let's get this next mission underway.
You're all shriveled up for a change. Can I... slice it off? And dissect it?
I'd prefer you didn't, my lady...
When it's small like that instead of its usual size... it's a lot softer... and easier to slice off.
If I might change the subject...
May I ask who we'll be rumbling with this time around? ...Er, in battle, that is. Not the other kind of rumbling.
My soldiers... The troops I made for One... They've been very bad.
Ho ho! So you're planning to go forth and dispatch the very monsters you conjured up! A wise and magnanimous gesture, my lady.
If my sister wills it...
Verse 1: The Intoner of Curiosity
We find ourselves back in the ever popular locale of One's Cathedral for this next mission. Remember those halcyon days where Notspain was exclusively the realm of endgame apocalyptic romps? Ah... memories.
Our goal for this mission is, as always, to go kill a bunch of things. For the duration of this DLC, our targets will be monsters that Three has released a mod for with a bunch of wacky altered stats that are unfortunately causing severe instability issues with the engine. And we cannot have that.
It's a sight that would take anyone's breath away!
Daemons... don't take kindly to people. But a few little tweaks... and I can mess with them all I want.
I don't see how an ogre can bring much enjoyment, no matter how "tweaked."
The Cathedral has been seemingly evacuated due to Three's rampaging ogres. Indeed, Three's DLC probably has the lowest concentration of enemies of any chapter in the entire game. You'll see the reason for that shortly.
At the top floor, back in the grand hall where One likes to hang out (when not out dragon riding or getting impaled in the woods) we come upon a circle of light much like the one One birthed Brone from within. Don't worry, Three won't be conjuring up a gender swapped clone. They'd look ridiculous in that outfit. No, the magical glyph is just there to begin the main event:
Music: Exvulsion - Phanuel
A wave based combat gauntlet. Yeah, they REALLY couldn't be arsed to mix up things with Three's DLC chapter. So it's entirely just video game ass video game style waves of enemies. Fuck it!
Yes, my lady?
Don't be such a worrywart, would you?
Ah. Yes. A thousand pardons, my lady.
...Wait, Octa can see the game's title cards? What else has he had knowledge of this whole time and kept quiet about?! Not cool!
The first wave is just against three bog standard ogres. Three comes equipped with "scissors" as a weapon. But they are in actuality just scissors in visual model only. Functionally they're a short sword with an actual reach about three times further than they would appear at a glance. Which is a somewhat awkward when coming against smaller enemies or those that need to be quickly evaded.
Oh well, at least we can be thankful they're not faux-chakrams in scissor form.
You might say we've got some control issues here, Lady Three!
Yes. They're defective. ...I kind of forgot I left them in the Cathedral City.
Oof! How distressful.
We must dispose of them. All of them. Sadly, like a picked flower... Cruelly, like a test specimen...
You heard the lady, guys. Tough break. But we need to make room for Zero's rampage and the Cent zombie outbreak early next year. It's a tight schedule we must all conform to. I'm sure you all understand.
Music: Blissade - Raphael
In Round Two, Three and Octa are challenged by Enhanced Ogres. "Enhanced" here doesn't mean shorthand for "zombie" like it did with Cent's altered soldiers. Instead, it means Access Games figured out you can futz with settings in the Unreal 3 Engine to make some weird behavior for existing enemies.
Hugo, Alfonso, Carlo, Elmo, and Oscar.
Those are their names. I wanted to make a group of brothers. But it didn't quite work out.
<speaking double speed> Their brains' motor signals weren't able to communicate with their nervous systems. I think excess noise in the neural connections ended up slowing their movements. See, my goal was to make good, useful soldiers. To make powerful, beautiful, obedient soldiers. But I failed.
My, you certainly become quite verbose when discussing your soldiers, Lady Three!
In this particular case there are six ogres. They are just like any other standard issue ogre. Except all their animations have been set to 50% speed. Yeah... That's the only enhancement to 'em. They're moving at half speed. I suppose when it comes down to it, I'll take intentional slowdown over a spotty framerate.
Needless to say, this particular quirk does the ogres no favors combat wise.
NOTE: The next two rounds have boss music from parts of the game we've yet to reach. So instead, have some DLC music in its place!
New Music: Growing Wings - Battle Version
To make up for the previous round's poor showing, Round 3 now produces an ogre that moves about 50% faster than its standard kin.
Quite a bit faster than those fellows before, I'd say.
Yes. Gugelphy is gifted.
<speaking double speed> I made sure to learn from my mistakes with the Hugo brothers. I used metal in the neural transmitters to achieve greater accuracy and boost transmission speeds by approximately 45 percent. Making the metal thin enough was a bit of a challenge, not to mention implanting it into an ogre. But I believe the results justified all my hard work.
You really do love speaking upon the subject of dolls, Lady Three.
Even if it is a slight speedier class of ogre, it's still a scrub tier mid-boss creature. Disappointingly, it's limbs don't fling off at above average speeds upon death. But hey... We've slain Gugelphy here. What's the deal with 1/3 ogres, eh...?
Ah! There we are. Probably shouldn't have called attention to the fact you didn't render a ceiling and there's just a black void where one ought to be. I hate to keep calling this out. But c'mon Drakengard 3, know your limitations.
That's Quejo and Lokmur. They were a gifted pair of children, but something ended up being very wrong with them.
How's that, my lady?
<speaking double speed> Well, I adjusted the connection between their brains and the optic nerves in their eyes. But in the end, that wound up harming the link between visualization and memory. As a result, they perceived all objects they saw as fluttering red capes. They essentially evolved to a point where they started attacking friends and foes alike.
Fluttering capes? I'm afraid I don't quite follow your allusion. But that aside, I'm not sure I'd classify attacking one's allies as "evolving."
...You have a point.
Yeah, all that business can be ignored. They're just sped up ogres identical to their little brother from earlier. Look, they put friendly fire on explosions. Wasn't that enough? Doing the same for monsters just isn't happening! What do you think this is? Doom?!
<speaking double speed> See? Look at them. Look, look, look, look, look at them! Their nimble movements! Their lithe and well-defined bodies! The way they make decisions based on experience and knowledge! It's fantastic! They were a wonderful, perfect success--like finding pearls in the forest! Are my soldiers not the very best of the best!?
Yes, my lady. Yes, of course. Er, but do try to calm down, if you would.
Excremento and Orina are certainly a step above their predecessors. I mean first of all, they're sand ogres which are already no joke on their own. And they've had their animation speed doubled when they were already some of the speediest enemies in the game to begin with anyway. If Three has built up any Intoner mode juice, now is the time to pop it off.
What is it?
The names of these beasts... What do they mean?
They're Spanish for "excrement" and "urine."
They're Spanish for "excrement" and "urine."
Oh! Well, I... All right then.
Hey, who ever said Drakengard 3 wasn't educational? I didn't know how to say those words in Spanish. I'm more of a mierda and mear sort of fellow when referring to those functions.
Regardless, taking down the speedy bodily function brothers draws this first mission of Three's to a close. Tune in next time for pretty much the same exact thing but with ogres replaced by imps!
Video: Three Verse 1 Highlight Reel