Part 70: Episode LI: This is a Story About ImperfectionsEpisode LI: This is a Story About Imperfections
Verse 2: Flying Soldiers
We immediately jump into our next destination at The Shrine of Sands. Forget about keeping track of dates from here on out. They sort of forgot about that having been a thing in the early DLC chapters.
We are now tasked with cleaning out this dump from more of Three's failed monster experiments. Why Two and Cent aren't doing this themselves, when they actually live here, is a bit of a mystery. Perhaps Three coming over to her sisters' pads and forgetting she brought a bunch of modified crimes against nature along with her before wandering off is a regular occurrence. The rest of the Intoners are just fed up with their houses being infested with monsters every time Three comes over for dinner. So she now needs to get her ass over and clean it up herself this time.
They were planning a monster experimentation intervention for Three, but then that whole nasty Zero business transpired and welp...
I must say, these battles are quite exhausting. I haven't been this flaccid in ages!
...Can I cut it off?
N-No! It's fine! I'll be back at attention in no time! Now come! We have imps to dispatch!
Indeed we do have imps to slay. But first, to really add a bit of filler, The Shrine of Sands has been retrofitted with some floating platforms and a switch to unlock the boss fight arena atop the highest pillar in the room. Yes, bad piece of DLC... Drakengard 3 platforming. THAT is the ticket to success!
Anyway, down we go to the ultimate fate of every mission of Three's Prologue...
Music: Corroscience - Armisael
...another wave based combat gauntlet! And this one fucking suuuuuuuucks. I believe I made my position clear on Drakengard 3's imps earlier insofar as being the most annoying enemy in the game. Needless to say, fifteen minutes straight of fighting the flighty bastards is less than an ideal time waster.
<speaking double speed> Imps can fly, you know. Way up high. High in the sky. Sky-high! I felt my forces needed an aerial component, you see. But calculating turbulence and drag and all that is tricky. I went through a lot of failures. It's hard to do sky-high.
Weeeell, I can certainly see why, my lady. Mathematics are not my strong suit either. Of course, I don't have any strong suits outside of the bed quarters, so...
This first wave's quartet of imps are a decent bit larger than normal and hit a touch harder. Beyond that, they're standard imps. In reality, the added size makes them easier to deal with than normal imps just by virtue of being able to hit the buggers' larger models when they fly "sky-high".
Note: Three's DLC continues to be hella rude using boss battle music we haven't gotten to yet. Three, I'm not doing your crappy DLC at the tail end of Branch D to accommodate your wave round musical choices. Here's some more DLC battle music instead:
New Music: Seere's Prayer - Battle Version DLC
While the first round was nothing special, now we start getting to the real irritating bits of this mission.
An experiment in miniaturization, you could say.
And how did this experiment turn out?
<speaking double speed> Well, they move quickly, but their durability is lacking. Very cute, but very weak. Cuteness is the best thing a doll can have, but weakness is the worst thing a soldier can have, you know? It was a bold experiment--mixing the best of the best with the worst of the worst to open up new horizons in military science.
...Ah, right. A failure, then.
Opposing how the larger variety of imps made them less of a hassle, their tinier counterparts are an aggravating mess. They hit just as hard as standard imps but move at double the speed, have a miniscule hitbox, and their color scheme is identical to the background so they blend right in until diving right up Three's grill. The only upside is that there are only six of 'em to deal with here.
Well that was annoying, what say we double down on bullshit, eh? This round is the worst of the entire DLC chapter. By a long shot.
<double speed> Yes. But they're a lot less durable than the previous set.
Oh? That's disappointing.
<double speed> I tried to create lots and lots of them, but, well, it's like the camel's hump, you know?
<double speed> The camel's hump! Big numbers don't cover weakness!
Heh... I see. Your analogies are as difficult to understand as ever.
So why does this round suck so badly? It'll tell you: Sixteen imps. All itty-bitty and blending right into the background even worse thanks to their size. All moving at at least double speed of normal imps. And their only attack is divebombing Three constantly. This strain of imps all go down in one or two hits. But it's still dealing with sixteen things charging from every direction with no rhyme or reason. It's like fighting an arena full of Castlevania's Medusa Heads. Ain't a great scene and not remotely fun to play.
If there was ever a time to pop off Intoner mode during this mission, it's right now. It's very useful by sheer virtue of Three's Intoner mode swipes automatically lunging at the nearest target. Having a huge reach against the mini-imps baby size hitboxes helps considerably as well. Small thanks this arena is so wide open and devoid of walls. This could have been an even worse scene to deal with were it in, say, the Cathedral arena.
Severl squished miniature imps later...
But I need to have a discussion with you about our nightly escapades.
You mean ***?
Er, yes. I feel that dark clouds have gathered over a relationship that once boasted great quality and quantity. ...Especially quantity.
It can't be helped. I got bored.
Oh, good heavens! Is that truly how you feel about me, my lady? After all the lustful peaks we've scaled? The cargo we've stowed? The culverts we've sluiced?
Yes. I don't hate it or anything. I just don't care if we do it or not.
Once the onslaught of bite-sized imps are banished from this world, we at last arrive at the final round. Which proves to be far easier than the preliminary match.
They certainly are overwhelming!
<double speed> Indeed, but they're slow. Too slow. A fatal weakness. I can't seem to get size, strength and speed together in one package.
You can't always have everything, I suppose. It's often difficult to find length, girth, and endurance in one package as well!
Making soldiers is difficult. That's probably why I keep on trying.
The final two imps are massive, have a brick shithouse worth of HP, and possess beefy hits. But their animations have been slowed down to half speed. Additionally, the imp divebomb attack (by far the biggest pain in the ass in their moveset) has been disabled. So this duo can only shoot very slow moving fireballs and lazily attempt to poke Three with their spears.
All this makes for probably the easiest round to complete overall. I wish all imps were oversized chumps mired in molasses like this last lot. Or better yet, I wish I never saw a goddamn imp in Drakengard 3 ever again! That's be great too.
Oh? I like them.
And that brings us to the half-way point of Three's Prologue chapter. Tune in next time where we do the same goddamn thing again but with cerberuses! But to end on a positive note, Gabriella does come back next mission and hates this DLC too. So at least that'll be fun.
Video: Three's Prologue Verse 2 Highlight Reel
Imp Concept Art