Part 92: Episode LXIX: In Which We Find Something Written in the Margins
Episode LXIX: In Which We Find Something Written in the Margins
Sooo... if this is the end of this branch, then... Wait, what?
Oh, gosh, I didn't lose a recording by accident, did I?
And what happened to the branches between A and C?
Ugh. If I screw this up, I'm gonna be in sooo much trouble...
Okay, just breathe. For starters, let's check out recording M1410_E0002_FL...
The Land of Seas.
So did you know that back in Branch A (the original murder road trip) that Zero and the gang took a weekend off at The Land of Seas in-between murdering Two and the assault on Cathedral City Redux? Well... they did! Or so the narrative is now claiming. Yes, Drakengard 3 is retconning its own plot that is still in progress. Taro Yoko plays by his own rules. Deal with it.
Anyway, the gang is all here and Mikhail is fully leveled up to his final form. It's been ages since we've visited the beach with Zero. Much less most of the disciples. So let's see how everyone is hanging before we do... whatever it is we're here to do.
Reminds me of all those horrible nights with ol' Blubber Bags.
It couldn't have been easy having to come face-to-face with a woman like Five every single day. I actually almost feel bad for you.
Imagine how bad you think it was, then multiply that by about a gazillion. Just smelling the ocean makes me wanna blow chunks. It reminds me of her sweat and her meaty thighs and... Guugh.
Wish I could just put a stick in my brain and carve out the memories...
Oh Dito, they weren't all bad memories. I mean remember the big juicy rotting lobster with the boat tophat? Good times... Good times. I mean other than the stench and the days bound to a toilet seat with explosive diarrhea after the fact.
Speaking of exploding holes, how are you Octa?
You a big fan of the sea or something?
Absolutely, my lady! It simply sends my heart soaring!
I, too, enjoy it. All this beautiful color bursting out at me... I can feel my heart flying away!
Yes, quite beautiful. ...Plus, I've always dreamed of having a wild bout of fornication within these waves!
Heh... You're nothing if not consistent, I guess.
My lady! Perhaps you would be so good as to help me realize my ocean fantasy?
Maybe some other time Octa. We've only got two days between this field trip and everyone either dying or turning into birds. Kind of a tight time schedule here. And that reminds me, Cent this is the only timeline you didn't just wander into the party offscreen at some point. What are you up to?
...Ha! Just kidding! Hehe. It's not. Did I shock you? Mmm? I've been working on that little nugget all day, so I hope you enjoyed it!
Yeah, that was a real... thing, Cent.
The only shock here is what an idiot that guy is.
Ah, it's so hard being popular...
Welp. Good to know you've gotten over Two getting blown to bits fairly quickly. And are still a moron. Got to have some constant traits among all these timelines or it'll just get confusing. Which brings us to Decadus' latest session of rephrasing things in the form of a question and moaning like some perverted Solid Snake.
No. But I was busy fighting last time. I didn't have a chance to behold its beauty for myself.
Kinda nice to see you excited about something that doesn't involve pain.
Oooh... Your words wound me deeply...
Er, Lady Zero? Is it true there are giant squid in the seas?
I don't like where this line of questioning is going. Moving right along to Mikhail. Who, despite growing back to full Michael caliber size, is still content with chilling happily at the beachside.
Yeah? I didn't miss it at all. And stop repeating yourself.
Aw, why not? We lived here a whole year, remember?
Yeah. A year spent watching you piss yourself like an idiot. I've been trying to forget it. ...And you.
Aw, come on!
Hey, Zero! Promise me we'll go swim in the sea again together someday, okay? You promise?
So, what brings us back to the Land of Seas, my lady?
I, uh... I forgot something at home.
What? We came all the way here for THAT!?
Yeah, we did. Now shut up already.
What did you forget?
Look, I just... I need to check on something, all right?
Lost Verse 1: Accord's Dream
Music: Pulchregeist - Battleground
There is quite a welcoming committee at the beach upon the party's return to the region. Apparently, the surviving Land of Seas troops are kind of pissed about Zero's first campaign through the area killing all their comrades and then the murder of Five from last month. Go figure. Good thing Zero is back for another round of PR improvement before the economy fully collapses in a couple weeks. I'm sure whoever runs next election will have a platform of staunch anti-Intoner sentiments.
Our goal for this mission is to run this map again in reverse. Between the DLC and these alternate timelines, I feel like somehow Drakengard 3 has managed to have more of the missions start us at the opposite end of the map than the original intended path.
It's the Intoner... and her dragon!
This land fell into chaos after Lady Five's death. Still, I'm surprised to see so much resistance.
That flower is freaking me out, man.
We must lay down our lives to stop the accursed Intoner.
Damn. She's mowing us down like flies!
You know, I think there is a pool of like six or seven voice actors for all the enemy soldier chatter in Drakengard 3. I might even be less than that and you're just putting on a couple different voices each. Still more variety than all the Arkham games. Fuck sake, Rocksteady. Would it kill you to get more than three different guys to do all the goon voices in those games?
Oh right, Drakengard. There were many soldiers and a gigas. They all died thanks to Zero. Octa and Decadus were also present.
Seriously? You guys are crazy. It's just a big blue blob. And it smells like fish shit.
Oh, stop being such a little shit, Dito. The smell of fish poop will be overpowered by the piles of corpses. I mean they ARE cooking in tin cans left out in the sun on a hot spring day. It'll fill the air in no time. I've also got to imagine that gigas was pretty ripe to begin with even before Zero hacked off its leg and it evacuated its bowels upon death. I'm sure those are smells you're into, kiddo.
While we're in the area, we can pass by Accord's still vacant weapon shop. I bet you didn't expect the absentee excuse for purchasing weapons in a intermission menu screen would both turn out to be the narrator of the story and also some manner of alternate dimension hopping time lord, huh? I wonder what the Notspain weapon merchant is up to these days...
Continuing onward toward Zero's cottage, some very rude seamen begin bombarding the path ahead. I suppose that some emergency wartime funding went toward the Land of Seas navy following Five's death and Blue Infantryman #2117 stepping up to office as interim governor.
I'll go attack the ships!
It's Zero, she's here!
Shit! Everybody run!
Don't retreat, fool! Fight her! Fight her now! Keep your eyes forward.
It... It's just...
Hey, get your shit together! We're taking fire here!
I'm trying, I'm trying! I'm trying really, really hard!
Fifteen seconds later...
Can I go find a bush? I need to pee.
Just hold it, dummy! Or else piss from up there.
What!? I can't do that! That's what animals do and stuff!
Woo-hoo! I sunk that ship!
Hey, I did it all by myself! C'mon, Zero, you can praise me a little!
Maybe next time... IF you don't piss yourself.
Hey we finally got the dialog from the intro movie. It's no, Weiss you dumbass... rant. The new Nier will need to step it up.
On the final beach stretch on the run up to Zero's cottage, the enemy forces have locked down the area and filled the path with as many cannoneers and archers as they could drum up on short notice. Since if a naval bombardment wouldn't do the trick, clearly shots fired from within striking distance of a super powered, extremely fast, sword wielding mad woman would work in a pinch. Good thinking, guys.
An ambush, huh?
Oh ho! This is a wretched homecoming indeed!
You know we're going through all this crap for you, Zero, right? ...Riiight!?
What are you going on about?
Goodness, Lady Zero! You certainly can be dense sometimes! It's hardly befitting your grand status as an Intoner.
Look, all I'm saying is, a little thank-you might be nice.
Not that we'd ask for money or anything so crass from an Intoner! Let's see... I know! How about a nice, home-cooked meal?
Ah, how lovely!
Great. It's settled, then.
Zero's home-cooked food... What an honor!
I didn't agree to that.
Whatcha gonna make, Z? I could go for stew. Or anything boiled, really.
I prefer organic dishes with locally sourced ingredients.
I'm rather fond of sweets.
I'll take anything that doubles as an aphrodisiac!
Hehe. That sounds like the last thing YOU need.
I don't know about all that, guys. The only cooking Zero seems capable of is faceless goons and the occasional sister. Taro Yoko's Cooking Mama sounds like something we should look forward to in Nier 2. I'm sure the results would be... intriguing.
Either Mikhail was lying about taking out that ship earlier. Or else a second, identically constructed ship cruised right up behind the first sunken vessel to take its place and just create the illusion of such an event. Zero knew better than to prematurely praise you, dragon. She wouldn't have had to worry about these shifty reports of workplace success if she'd just hired some wyverns for the job at half the price of upkeep. Just sayin'...
After the warship is at the bottom of the ocean floor, Mikhail swoops in to clear the path for Zero and the disciples. And good thing too. The disciples are clearly besides themselves in anticipation for the upcoming treat.
So, back to what we were discussing earlier... I actually think stew is my favorite meal.
Yes, though a nice piece of fish carpaccio would be lovely. Maybe with some tapenade on the side and a chilled Chablis?
Or you can just soak bread in eggs and sugar. Cook it up, add honey and cream? Ohhh. ...Delicious!
I've heard that soup made from the fresh blood of a rare beast will raise one's spirits all night!
I'll just have what you always give me, Zero!
Hey, yeah. What does she feed you anyway?
Um, let's see... Rare meat cut into chunks... Overcooked soup that tastes like metal... A bunch of moldy, bitter leaves... This fatty blob I can chew and chew and it won't go away...
Stop! Just stop! I'm about to hurl over here.
Is that the sort of thing a dragon usually eats?
No, but that's what Zero eats, so I just go along with it.
You guys want some?
Welp. So much for the grand meal on our vacation. There are a few more soldiers in the beach side pass leading back to Zero's old abode. But nothing of note besides a new weapon stuck in the same exact chest as the first additional weapon Zero obtained for her collection. Fancy that coming full circle. Or lack of effort. I'm not sure.
You guys stay here. I need to go look for something.
Is it a change of clothes? A washing machine from The Old World? Maybe just a good, clean bath...?
Wait. Remembering the only nearby water source and what's been released in it... scratch that last one.
Maybe there's a world where the flower doesn't appear. There's gotta be a hint or something that can lead me there...
Uhh... Wait, what...? Zero? Since when did you know about Accord or the branch timelines...? This game really is just retconning its own plot mid-game. Or more accurately, Zero apparently sort of has the same pieced together knowledge about the vague workings of alternate timelines and Accord's deal as the player does at this point. How? Why? Huh...? Since when...? Don't ask me! Apparently, we learned nothing from Chrono Cross in not crossing the streams of time travel and alternate dimensions to avoid this kind of confusion.
Regardless of confusing anomalies, just like when we woke up in this room following the prologue, we can once more take a look at several items around the room to get Zero's end game commentary and new found extracurricular knowledge take on 'em.
<Examine: Shelves> Medicine... I managed to survive, but at what cost? My body is cursed now, and the stupid thing won't even let me die. All those guys who call me the accursed Intoner are more right than they know.
<Examine: Table> The arm I lost to One... If that's when the branch occurred, I'm already too late.
<Examine: Mirror> Could there really be a world without this flower? I wonder what I'm like over there? Or what my sisters are like. ...Do I even HAVE sisters? Meh, no point dwelling on it.
<Examine: Sword> If I'm the singularity Accord was talking about, then maybe I'm the one bringing this world to ruin.
Yeah sure, let's go track down the narrator to ask what the hell is going on in this game's plot. That sounds reasonable. As long as it doesn't land Zero trapped in the Narration Zone. Heaven forbid such a dire fate...
Accord... What did I tell you about barging in here!?
<twirls in place> Huh? I could have sworn I knocked...
Oh well! Water under the bridge.
Lemme guess. You're here to give me some grim warning?
Yep! As things stand now, it doesn't matter what branch you go downit all ends in disaster. Figured I'd give you a heads up.
So how come you can see the future, huh?
I can't tell you that.
Maybe you don't see the future at all. Maybe you're the one who's making it. That would explain a lot.
Heh. Hehehe. Ha ha ha.
<chuckle> Sorry, but I'm not that talented.
<puts sword on table and walks away> ...I see.
<brushes away sword> Well, until next time.
And with that Accord wanders off out of the cabin. Or vanishes into thin air slightly off screen. Who knows at this point?
Regardless. With her departure comes the end of this mission and our vacation at The Land of Seas in a past timeline we'll not again revisit. If that makes sense. Time to take inventory of our tacky souvenirs from our time here. Chiefly that new weapon we obtained on the warpath.
Darkseal Order posted:
The heavy, spiked bracers of a banished underworld lord.
Weapon Size: Medium
He is a great and powerful king.
Do not tell him what to do.
It is a vast and evil power.
Do not attempt to unravel it.
He is a strong and fearsome foe.
Do not challenge him to battle.
He is a small and tender child.
Do not disturb him yet.
Xxnarut09000xX will no-scope headshot your bitch ass all day loshut the fuck up mom, I'm trying to stream! Gawd.
Our trip to the beach was also enough to bring Octa's affection for Zero to maximum level and make him cough up the fourth and final secondary disciple gift weapon. The weapon collection is nearly completed. ...I cannot believe I've put myself through this 100% grind crap in four different games now...
Rule of Divine Law posted:
Rule of Divine Law
Weapon Size: Medium
The Tenth Blade: Throne of the False God
May its force echo as the gods across the land
The Eleventh Blade: Knightly Darkness
May its soul be as noble and lofty as a stout knight.
The Twelfth Blade: Queensthorn
May its beauty be as pure as the reigning empress.
The Thirteenth Blade: Thunderous King
May its power be as eternal as our beloved ruler.
...Right. Eh. ...It's Octa. I'm just going to assume it's a weird dick allusion and move on.
Video: Lost Verse 1 Highlight Reel