Part 95: Accord's Story: Weapon Stories

Accord's Story: Weapon Stories



Busy, busy, busy! Really, I’m so busy. I feel like I could just fall over! It’s not like I don’t already have my hands full with my usual duties of stocking, repairing and pricing merchandise. To have to refurbish my shop in time for its reopening on top of all that… even if I had a whole army of me, it wouldn’t be enough!

Oh, hello there. My name is Accord, and I’m a weapon seller by trade. Hm? Who am I talking to? Now, now… let’s not sweat the details.

In any case, today I have to inspect the weapons I have in stock, price them appropriately and put them out on display before I can be ready to open tomorrow. And if the weapon seller Accord isn’t selling weapons, why… she’d just be a plain old Accord! Now, let’s see… I’m searching for this weapon’s weapon story. Here it is. You see, weapons with colorful histories often come complete with a weapon story detailing how they were made and used until now. They can be quite interesting! For example, here’s the one on this sword with the serrated edge:



My, wasn’t that scary? I wonder how true it is, though… a sword turning a person invisible doesn’t sound very realistic… A-A-AHHHH! My arm! My arm! My left arm! It’s vanishing together with the sword! I can’t believe it, but apparently the story was 100% fact! This sword is cursed! I have to stop talking long enough to drop it! …Excuse me. I got a little flustered. Anyway, it seems this sword is a bit too dangerous to put on sale. If I could just figure out some way to break the curse on it… but that’s sure to take time. It could take years, even. Well, I can be patient… it’s not as if this is my only sword in stock.

Moving on… this weapon is strangely shaped, don’t you think? A round ring with a handle. That’s odd enough, but look! It’s covered in spikes. How is one supposed to use this, exactly? Just walking around with it seems dangerous. Heaven help anyone near you if you just started swinging it around all willy-nilly! You’d end up hurting both your allies and yourself if you weren’t careful. Well, I suppose if you’re one of those types who doesn’t mind a little pain… Let me take a look at its weapon story. Hm? Hmmm? Where’d I put it, now? Oh, found it.



Oh dear. Now that I look more closely, this weapon is covered in blood stains. As if it weren’t foreboding enough already… Chilling, really. And doesn’t blood rust the blade? I ought to try and get it off before selling it. I’ll keep it in back until then. I don’t think a weapon this creepy would fit the mood of a store reopening very well, anyway…

Okay, next… If we’re strictly speaking aesthetics, I think spears are the best-looking. Now, I’m not saying swords and gauntlets don’t look nice either. It’s just that spears are so stylish. It’s the length that really makes them stand out. Take a look at this one here, for example. The craftsmanship is beautiful enough to make you swoon, isn’t it? Its weapon story is pretty dramatic, too. Here’s a sample:



…That’s how it starts. Doesn’t the opening alone make you feel excited? Just holding a spear like this in your hands makes you want to start swinging it around. You know, with a big battle cry. Yah! Yeah, like that. Yah! YAH! …AHHH!! Oh, what have I done?! I’ve gotten the spear stuck deep in the wall! I’ve got to pull it back out! What a pain…! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. There’s a crack in the head now. I’ve got to mend it… but that will take time, too, won’t it? If it were the anywhere else that was damaged I could fix it myself, but when it comes to the artisan spear head… I have no choice but to enlist the services of a proper blacksmith.

Honestly! Even though I’m already so busy, here I am, making holes in walls, damaging my own precious merchandise... I’m such a dunce! I’m going to go sit myself down in the corner for awhile and reflect on my stupidity.

...While I’m here, I may as well inspect the rest of the weapons. Like this sword:



Stop reading! I thought this sounded familiar… it’s a weapon story I penned myself! My fan weapon story! How embarrassing! No, no more of that. Also, this weapon appears to be under a seal. If broken, the ghost of a sorcerer will come tumbling out… awfully dangerous, that. I’d better apply an additional seal before putting it up for sale. I hope I can manage a decent one. Oh dear, this is going to take time, too, isn’t it...

What’s next?



Err… that didn’t make a lick of sense, did it? What was the person who wrote this thinking? It may be a weapon story, but it’s still a story, so it should be written to be at least semi-understandable, don’t you agree? Also, the head of this spear is slightly bent. You wouldn’t notice unless you looked very, very closely, but... even it’s just a bit, damage is damage. I can’t sell it like this. I’ll send it out for repair along with the other spear.

Speaking of poorly written weapon stories, the one for this next sword takes the cake:



Seriously, what is this? I’d like to see the face of the guy who wrote it. I’d have him sit in the corner a while himself. That aside, I don’t think I can sell this weapon, either. I mean, it’s broken... oh, but... it might be more attractive this way? It’s very eye-catching; a real object d’art, if you know what I mean. Perhaps it’d be all right... no, no, damaged goods are damaged goods! But... on an aesthetic level... then it might be fine to… ah, I can’t decide. I’ll put it aside until I can come to a decision. This other one’s rusted, so it’s a no go. That leaves me with... um... huh?

In the end, the only weapon suitable for putting up for sale is this one sword that sort of resembles a cleaver. Ah… no matter how I try to look at it, a weapon seller with only one measly sword for sale is kind of a flop, huh? Depending on your point of view, though... perhaps one sword really is enough. In the first place, weapons are expensive. Even if I struggle to put a bunch up for sale at once, it’s not likely they’ll all get bought together. It might be better business, then, to have one especially well-made, easy-to use-product available. Quality before quantity, as they say.

Also, weapons are tools. They’re made to be used. As a weapon seller, even if my entire stock gets bought out, while I’d hardly say no to the gold, it would make me sad if most of them never got to see any action… in the end, I’d be most happy if this one sword got used to the fullest. That is how I honestly feel.



Okay! That’s the plan, then. I’ll have my customer unlock the maximum potential of this sword. And by the time she’s finished doing that, the other weapons will be ready to buy... and there may be new ones, to boot! Now, to put this sword, 'The Roar of the Condemned', on display... its unusual name and appearance really give it some extra oomph! Now to rustle up a few healing items... and I’m all set.

Now, then. I must get going. Aside from getting the store ready, I have other various jobs to do. My work is never done! Although it may be a bit strange not to have the owner around on the opening day... it can’t be helped. I’m sure it’ll all be all right as long as I leave a note. Probably. Let’s see… dear customer... this shop sells weapons and items, but due to the owner being otherwise occupied… okay, looks good. Let me go hang this on the door.

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Thanks once again to kho-dazat for the translation!