Part 95: Accord's Story: Weapon StoriesAccord's Story: Weapon Stories
Busy, busy, busy! Really, Im so busy. I feel like I could just fall over! Its not like I dont already have my hands full with my usual duties of stocking, repairing and pricing merchandise. To have to refurbish my shop in time for its reopening on top of all that even if I had a whole army of me, it wouldnt be enough!
Oh, hello there. My name is Accord, and Im a weapon seller by trade. Hm? Who am I talking to? Now, now lets not sweat the details.
In any case, today I have to inspect the weapons I have in stock, price them appropriately and put them out on display before I can be ready to open tomorrow. And if the weapon seller Accord isnt selling weapons, why shed just be a plain old Accord! Now, lets see Im searching for this weapons weapon story. Here it is. You see, weapons with colorful histories often come complete with a weapon story detailing how they were made and used until now. They can be quite interesting! For example, heres the one on this sword with the serrated edge:
My, wasnt that scary? I wonder how true it is, though a sword turning a person invisible doesnt sound very realistic A-A-AHHHH! My arm! My arm! My left arm! Its vanishing together with the sword! I cant believe it, but apparently the story was 100% fact! This sword is cursed! I have to stop talking long enough to drop it! Excuse me. I got a little flustered. Anyway, it seems this sword is a bit too dangerous to put on sale. If I could just figure out some way to break the curse on it but thats sure to take time. It could take years, even. Well, I can be patient its not as if this is my only sword in stock.
Moving on this weapon is strangely shaped, dont you think? A round ring with a handle. Thats odd enough, but look! Its covered in spikes. How is one supposed to use this, exactly? Just walking around with it seems dangerous. Heaven help anyone near you if you just started swinging it around all willy-nilly! Youd end up hurting both your allies and yourself if you werent careful. Well, I suppose if youre one of those types who doesnt mind a little pain Let me take a look at its weapon story. Hm? Hmmm? Whered I put it, now? Oh, found it.
Oh dear. Now that I look more closely, this weapon is covered in blood stains. As if it werent foreboding enough already Chilling, really. And doesnt blood rust the blade? I ought to try and get it off before selling it. Ill keep it in back until then. I dont think a weapon this creepy would fit the mood of a store reopening very well, anyway
Okay, next If were strictly speaking aesthetics, I think spears are the best-looking. Now, Im not saying swords and gauntlets dont look nice either. Its just that spears are so stylish. Its the length that really makes them stand out. Take a look at this one here, for example. The craftsmanship is beautiful enough to make you swoon, isnt it? Its weapon story is pretty dramatic, too. Heres a sample:
Thats how it starts. Doesnt the opening alone make you feel excited? Just holding a spear like this in your hands makes you want to start swinging it around. You know, with a big battle cry. Yah! Yeah, like that. Yah! YAH! AHHH!! Oh, what have I done?! Ive gotten the spear stuck deep in the wall! Ive got to pull it back out! What a pain ! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Theres a crack in the head now. Ive got to mend it but that will take time, too, wont it? If it were the anywhere else that was damaged I could fix it myself, but when it comes to the artisan spear head I have no choice but to enlist the services of a proper blacksmith.
Honestly! Even though Im already so busy, here I am, making holes in walls, damaging my own precious merchandise... Im such a dunce! Im going to go sit myself down in the corner for awhile and reflect on my stupidity.
...While Im here, I may as well inspect the rest of the weapons. Like this sword:
Stop reading! I thought this sounded familiar its a weapon story I penned myself! My fan weapon story! How embarrassing! No, no more of that. Also, this weapon appears to be under a seal. If broken, the ghost of a sorcerer will come tumbling out awfully dangerous, that. Id better apply an additional seal before putting it up for sale. I hope I can manage a decent one. Oh dear, this is going to take time, too, isnt it...
Err that didnt make a lick of sense, did it? What was the person who wrote this thinking? It may be a weapon story, but its still a story, so it should be written to be at least semi-understandable, dont you agree? Also, the head of this spear is slightly bent. You wouldnt notice unless you looked very, very closely, but... even its just a bit, damage is damage. I cant sell it like this. Ill send it out for repair along with the other spear.
Speaking of poorly written weapon stories, the one for this next sword takes the cake:
Seriously, what is this? Id like to see the face of the guy who wrote it. Id have him sit in the corner a while himself. That aside, I dont think I can sell this weapon, either. I mean, its broken... oh, but... it might be more attractive this way? Its very eye-catching; a real object dart, if you know what I mean. Perhaps itd be all right... no, no, damaged goods are damaged goods! But... on an aesthetic level... then it might be fine to ah, I cant decide. Ill put it aside until I can come to a decision. This other ones rusted, so its a no go. That leaves me with... um... huh?
In the end, the only weapon suitable for putting up for sale is this one sword that sort of resembles a cleaver. Ah no matter how I try to look at it, a weapon seller with only one measly sword for sale is kind of a flop, huh? Depending on your point of view, though... perhaps one sword really is enough. In the first place, weapons are expensive. Even if I struggle to put a bunch up for sale at once, its not likely theyll all get bought together. It might be better business, then, to have one especially well-made, easy-to use-product available. Quality before quantity, as they say.
Also, weapons are tools. Theyre made to be used. As a weapon seller, even if my entire stock gets bought out, while Id hardly say no to the gold, it would make me sad if most of them never got to see any action in the end, Id be most happy if this one sword got used to the fullest. That is how I honestly feel.
Okay! Thats the plan, then. Ill have my customer unlock the maximum potential of this sword. And by the time shes finished doing that, the other weapons will be ready to buy... and there may be new ones, to boot! Now, to put this sword, 'The Roar of the Condemned', on display... its unusual name and appearance really give it some extra oomph! Now to rustle up a few healing items... and Im all set.
Now, then. I must get going. Aside from getting the store ready, I have other various jobs to do. My work is never done! Although it may be a bit strange not to have the owner around on the opening day... it cant be helped. Im sure itll all be all right as long as I leave a note. Probably. Lets see dear customer... this shop sells weapons and items, but due to the owner being otherwise occupied okay, looks good. Let me go hang this on the door.
Thanks once again to kho-dazat for the translation!