Part 20: Episode XX: In Which Old Men Are Kicked in the Head
Episode XX: In Which Old Men Are Kicked in the Head
Verse 6: The Gods Speak
Right now where were...we? Wait.. Floating fortress...? Death of the goddess...? Did... I miss a verse or two here?! What happened last time... Oh right... fantasy atomic bomb.
Folks... I believe the crazy train has entered the station.
We're tossed into another event mission. Here Caim can learn and laugh at the Union solders getting their eyes burnt out and other fun facts.
Directly north of where Caim begins, we come across a soldier who apparently raided Papa Caim's old armory when the Black Dragon ate Caim's parents and such.
The jerk has a change of heart now that he's doomed to dying a slow, painful death at the hands of severe burns and radiation poisoning. Do Fantasy Nukes have radiation...? I'll have to look into that... Anyhow, talking to him twice nets Caim the final weapon of this chapter.
In any case, chatting with Verdelet due north triggers the next cutscene.
"The blood of the goddess has been spilled?"
"I-I know not... Is this the end?!"
"What do your human scriptures say is to happen upon the death of the goddess?"
"The writings are brief and unclear. Though, the last verse simply states 'spill the blood of the goddess upon the earth ye tread; thou art boned.'"
Caim just decides to pimp slap Verdelet out of the blue.
Baldy really needs to shut the fuck up about my sister dying. I'm starting to get pissed.
"He's an old fool. Let it go."
"We've toiled away our time and failed the goddess in our inaction and weakness! Forgive us gods for our incompetence has doomed us all."
Fuck this noise.
And so our hero kicks a 72 year old man full force in the teeth. Drakengard!
Then... we can STAB them! Good plan, dragon.
"No, I didn't mean..."
Let's get to it!
So, it turns out Caim's dad was a samurai or something. Or a dork that thinks a $300 replica ninja sword he bought off EBay is totally awesome.
Nobuyoshi Weapon History posted:
In a far-away Eastern land, there was a poet who made a living reciting songs.
But he keenly felt the limits of his own skills, and so be made a pact with a
With the power of the ghost inside him, he began to compose glorious and
beautiful songs. His fame spread through the city, and before long, he was
named the official Poet to the Imperial Court.
But one day, the ghost returned to him, and she said thus: "Your life as
a genius poet is over. You shall henceforth never sing a song again."
It was as the ghost said. The poet fell silent and no more songs came from his
lips. His dream gone, he plunged this sword into his breast. It still gleams
with the glistering of his blood.
Hey, maybe we'll get lucky and Inuart will do the same thing. Also, someone tell the weapon history writers that the vague oriental land that makes katana swords ought to be in the west. Flipped around world and all... Just saying.
Verse 7: Emergence
Unfortunately, the violent meeting of Verdelet's face and Caim's foot has done little to stop his constant rambling and doomsayer nonsense.
Caim decides he needs to work out the last of his frustrations by murdering each and every last remaining Imperial soldier. At least those who somehow weren't disintegrated when the trio of nukes dropped on the battlefield.
Speaking of battlefield, the hellish burning red sky and the silhouettes of the dead cyclops giants is a wee bit creepy. Don't expect the game's tone to get any more chipper any time soon.
Speaking of things that aren't chipper, dapper, or ragtime fun: zombies. As it turns out, Fantasy Nukes do not emit radiation. They emit the T-Virus.
This results in Caim having to re-kill half of the enemies he initially slays earlier in the stage. Zombie Imperials are fairly nasty in groups, as their rotting skeletal state somehow makes them much quicker at attacking and hit for twice the damage.
The most annoying bit about Imperial Zombies is the fact Caim has to dismount Red to make them rise from the ground. Drakengard takes the "when there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth" thing quite literal, as he must apparently wait for the express elevator from hell to spawn the jerks.
On a note that pleases me quite a bit, this is the absolute final verse where the Union and its whiny bitch soldiers ever rear their collective of utterly useless heads. Thank fuck. May history forever remember The Union as the most useless army to ever exist.
Ahahaha. Oh...you wish this was as bad as it would get. This is a light Sunday afternoon stroll in the park. This is a 40-degree day.
No... Sorry... Thermonuclear War Apocalypse is not on today's menu. If you'll wait a bit, I'll go fetch the menu with today's specials.
What? That moon. Yeah, I was going to ask you about that before. I don't remember it looking that way.
"That's no moon. That's a space station!"
Verse 8: Menace
Well, okay. Maybe it's not a space station. It's just a gigantic floating fortress. Wait...what?
Alright, just one very filler aerial mission and it's on to the Kingdom of Zeal.
The concept of magic which doesn't utilize methods to kill people is a foreign concept to the denizens of Drakengard's world. The Empire seems to be the only ones with a progressive goal. Granted, the end game of their plan is the end of the world. But...details...
Oh, it's got the chronic hook-up from up in VA Bea-oh right... Yeah, it's pretty high up there alright.
Red makes a dramatic attempt to board the Death Egg...
...before just giving up and blowing it off until the next chapter. Lazy dragons these days, I swear.
Caim: The Human Mute Button
Chapter Five Ground Mission #2
Chapter Five Aerial Mission #2