Part 18Time for the second to last and by far the best puzzle solving sequence of the game!
That hatch just may be the key to our salvation!
Let's pull the classic I don't feel well maneuver.
The ever attentive Prison guard with a cockney accent comes to see what the racket is all about.
Bloody right I bloody well am.
Yes, good one right there Zoe.
They don't have your fancy Stark psychology here in Arcadia Zoe.
Smart move, now we'll be able to access the lock and we're home free!
There's no way he's being sarcastic, prison guards in video games and movies ALWAYS fall for--
Great, we've got an intelligent Prison Guard. Now what do we do?
Wait... what are you insinuating here?
Zoe is now a little bit uncomfortable.
This man reminds me of someone.
Arthur: Nothing fancy. Just a peck. I miss my mum, you see. When I a little
kid, my mother always used to come up--
Blackadder: ...and then Squirry the Squirrel went "Neep neep neep!" and they all went home for tea.
Arthur: Ah, thanks very much, me ol' shivering mateys! That was wonderful. Now then, how much do you charge for a good hard shag?
Does Ragnar watch Blackadder? Hopefully, because it's fantastic.
Unfortunately we never do actually get to hear Zoe sing
I almost thought he was being sarcastic again here, but he isn't.
Right, we've got access to the lock now. How are we going to remove it?
That's April's job to figure out.
: I got the guard to leave the hatch in the door open, and I can see the bar that keeps the door bolted. It's locked, and even if I could reach it, I wouldn't be able to move it...but maybe you or April can figure something out?
Crow: That's what we're here for, figuring things out. Also rescuing you, of course. For me, it's mostly that last one. Not so much the former.
This Chapter is called convergence because all three characters cross paths. There is only one other chapter where this happens, and it's the most intense chapter in the game.
Crow: I did, and she's doing fine. They haven't beheaded her yet. I think. Can they reattach your head after cutting it off?
: ...No. Did she find anything in the cell we can use to get her out of there?
Crow: The hatch in the door's open. Zoï says the door is locked from the outside with a metal bar. There's a guard, but he's not very attentive.
: Right. So we need something to take care of that bolt, and something to get rid of the guard. Any ideas?
Crow's voice actor does indeed say this in Regis Philbin's voice. Crow is the only thing in this game allowed to break the fourth wall, and he does it pretty conservatively. See if you can spot his reference to Samwise Gamgee later in the chapter!
: Magic won't work inside Friar's Keep. The stone walls work as a sort of magical jammer...but potions would still work. That's chemistry, not magic. And I know where to get potions. Roper Klacks. Wait here, Crow.
On the way there I stop for a moment to see what's become of Clara. She may have been part of the fetch quest from hell, but I still hope she's alright
Minstrum Magda is gone too, although I don't have a screenshot of it.
The door here reminds me of Alice in Wonderland (and also LordMune's fantastic American McGee's Alice LP).
What's up Klackster?
: I need a couple of potions.
Roper Klacks: You've certainly come to the right place! What do you need? A love potion? Acne Away? Webbed Toes No-More? Some sort of scented lubricant?
: Scented--? No, I need something that can melt metal--
: --and something that can knock someone out cold--
Roper Klacks: Knock-U-Out, extra strength. Tossable or drinkable?
: I guess it needs to have some range.
Roper Klacks: Excellent! One moment!
This is the animation that happens every time Roper Klacks gives us something. I've been trying in vain to get it every time he has done so, and now I finally have. I love this animation.
Iron-B-Gone = Acid
Knock-U-Out = Smoke Bomb
This isn't just Klacks being goofy and making up silly names for things; remember that we're in Arcadia. Klacks is very much an incredible alchemist as demonstrated in TLJ. By Arcadian standards Klacks is a genius. The Azadi have the most advanced science in all of Arcadia, and the best they have are those golden steam machines.
Let's get this stuff to Zoe.
April is kind of condescending to Crow. While it's sometimes hard to tell in this game, Crow isn't just a comic relief character. His feelings are very easily hurt, especially since April basically treats him as a tool to solve puzzles. She's the only friend he has, and his undying loyalty is returned only with "Crow, do this". I feel awful for the poor guy.
Up we go! And do be careful Crow, that's acid
Crow: This one melts metal, apparently. Careful, you don't want to spill that on the floor. Or, you know, your hands.
: So I pour this on the bolt?
Crow: I guess so. What do I know? Birds don't have any use for chemistry. Then there's this one...
: What's this for?
Crow: It's a knock-out bomb. You toss it, it breaks, smoke comes out, people fall over. That sort of thing. Real popular with the kids, for some reason.
: Okay. For the guard. So I just toss it at his feet, and he'll be knocked out? Will he get hurt?
Crow: Eh. He might wake up with a headache. Just remember that he would cut your head off without a moment's hesitation. It's a myrshnik-eat-myrshnik world, baby.
I actually don't know what a myrshnik is, and neither does TLJwiki.
Get to work Acid!
Now Let's Take Care of That Guard. /Backup
Mission complete! We even got his keys.
And with keys in hand we can start heading downstairs.
As we go down Zoe overhears a guard talking with the Warden (the jerk we met as Kian).
Asshole. This man is hungry!
I could go for some Chinese right about now.
Because after all, what's more extravagant then a sandwich?
He says this in a crotchety old man voice that's really funny, but I'm not going to video the whole scene just for this one line.
He's got his priorities straight.
Only if you can, mmm, deduct my fist from your FACE.
This is useful information, so let's tell Crow. We can't get past the guard the ways things are right now anyway.
Crow: Ah, the classic 'caper á la cuisine'.
: The what?
It's worth noting that Crow is fucking awesome.
Crow: I don't know if that information will be helpful or not, but I'll let April figure that part out.
Really fucking awesome.
Crow: Someone in there's got the munchies, and they just ordered out. Sandwich.
: From where?
Crow: Uh, I don't think Zoe caught that part. She just said 'sandwich'.
We need a sandwich, stat! Who do we know that serves food and drink--
I want to walk into a restaurant and just say this.
Benrime: My word, child! Are you so hungry that you have forgotten your manners? In this place we say 'please'.
: I'm sorry. I'm in a hurry. That girl, Zoï, she's--
: She's in Friar's Keep, Benrime.
Benrime: What? By the Balance... How did that happen?
: I don't know, and right now I don't care. I need to get her out of there before they ship her off to Sadir.
Benrime: The poor child! But why are you here asking me for food when she needs your help?
: Because I need to make a delivery to the prison. It's the only way to get inside.
Benrime: Oh! Of course, one moment.
Okay MOM, I'm going already
We don't actually have to do this, but it's on the way and it makes it so we can just run past the guard instead of having to sneak.
No real world equivalent for this I guess.
April Ryan, delivery girl.
Fortunately for us, the warden is not only an asshole, he's also a moron.
This is why I'm never going to be a pizza delivery man.
Warden: Mmm, very good, very good. Leave it on the table, please. Good day.
April: I can bring the sandwich upstairs if you want. Sounded like your man was quite hungry.
April: I can bring the sandwich upstairs, save you the trip.
Warden: Yes, yes, that would be fine. Go ahead. The food elevator is on the first floor.
You'd think so, but then you didn't see Kian in here. He wasn't able to do much either.
This might be problematic, except the gates aren't even locked.
The food elevator is inside the little room in the pillar.
Elevator comes down,
Delicious Sandwich is poisoned,
Delicious Poisonous Sandwich is placed on the elevator,
Elevator goes back up!
The hungry Prison guard grabs his lunch
And we Watch the Rest of the Chapter in Video (featuring lots of awesomeness, badassery, and more awesomeness!). /Backup
Next Time you should bring a snack and something to drink, because Chapter 9 is all video baby.