The Let's Play Archive

Dwarf Fortress - Headshoots

by Various

Part 22

Interlude 3:

Narrator : In the reign of Verviticus, the miner, our noble fort received a large influx of migrants from some strange fortress called Cuba. Naturally, the first thing they did before going to work as trash haulers was to hold the first goblin baseball game.

FebrezeNinja : Fuck yeah homes!

Narrator : And DirtyDeedsDone steps up to the plate. He's had a relatively stable offensive average this year, with a .278 batting average, and .714 goblin slugging percentage.

Goblin : *ka-chunk* Fwheeeeeeeeeeeeeee-------*thump*

Narrator : And it's....OUTTA HERE! AN UPPER DECKER! DirtyDeedsDone, connecting on a solid curveball, with a huge homer in the bottom of the 9th. THE DWARVES WIN THE PENNANT! THE DWARVES WIN THE PENNANT! THE DWARVES WIN THE PENNANT!

Narrator : Meanwhile, the dwarven sports season was moving into full swing, with Verviticus kicking off the frozen river ice skating session.

Verviticus : It's way less scary, and I can dress up in my princess costume!

Narrator: : Unfortunately, by allowing the water supply to freeze for his figure skating princess fantasies, Verviticus ineptly caused the death of two of his fellow citizens who were too unimportant to name here.

Dwarves : Hey!

Narrator : Wounded in a freak nude wrestling accident too gruesome to mention with young dwarven ears around, the two meaningless, worthless, unimport-

Dwarves : Ok ok, we get it!

Narrator : Ahem. As I was saying, their mangled bodies lay on the ground, yet with no water to treat them, they quickly died of thirst. Great job Verviticus. Great job.

Verviticus :

Narrator : With that, the reign of Verviticus the miner ended, only to be replaced by that of Kippling, the evangelical preacher.

Kippling : Ah say, ah PRAAAAAAAYYYYY fo' the future of this fort-ah.


Born: 1 (Wise Learned Man), another unnamed dwarf baby
Died: Saitorr, Sazir, (Garbagedwarves, died of dehydration).
Artifacts: Shadowstyle the Mighty Lure (Raw Adamantine Hatch Cover, by Mr. GreenShirt) Ganadiden, The Special Paddle (a perfect brown zircon, depicting Trailmachines the Fellowship of Right, by Robot Uprising)
Legendary: Holistic Detective, WanderingKnitter (Champions)
Madness: None
Nobility: Phrog (Sheriff)