The Let's Play Archive

Dwarf Fortress - Headshoots

by Various

Part 52

And so it was that the fate of Headshoots was entrusted to 'Spoonboy' Bodicesaves, sole surviving child of 'Pimpmust' Ringpacked and 'Apotheosis' Inkedmyth. Spoonboy was a troubled child when he assumed the mantle, having lost his parents and two sisters to the demons, and his first thought upon taking control was to create a fitting tribute to his fallen family, and of course the dozens of others who lost their lives in the tragedy.


Here begins the journal of Spoonboy Bodicesaves, son of Pimpmust Ringpacked.

I have plans, grand plans for the Tribute to our fallen brethren. It came to me in a dream, and upon waking I immediately began drawing up the design.

Unfortunately, things are worse than I thought. I have only seven workers with which to build the monument, and almost no wood. I immediately drafted everyone into a masonry team and began work - there was no need to tend the fields or work the forges - Headshoots could survive for years on its existing stockpiles.

Thankfully, an Elven caravan arrived almost immediately, bringing much needed wood:

I ordered the military to seize the entire caravans' supplies - there was no time to waste bartering with the Elves when there was a Tribute to construct!


Shortly afterwards a band of Goblins arrived to lay siege. Such needless distractions! I mentioned them to HolisticDetective, but he decided to choose the opportunity to take a nap, and as the rest of his squad seemed to like watching him sleep I decided to delegate the job to Nemo2342. I gave him command of half of the original six dwarf squad (all that was left of the once mighty Righteous Barricades), and sent him on his way.

Mofeta completely destroyed the goblins to the north with his adamantine spear:

While Nemo2342 attacked the group to the south, singlehandedly taking them down:

I paid no mind to the details - as long as the pests were taken care of I could concentrate on the construction of the Tribute.


Not long after the goblins were taken care of, some migrants arrived.

Great. Nobility. Just what we needed.

The nobles immediately started acting like they owned the place, demanding the best rooms and a myriad other useless trinkets. I gave them what they wanted as quickly as I could and turned my thoughts back to the Tribute, progress on which had stalled since the arrival of the royalty.

Thankfully, around 30 other dwarves had arrived at the same time. I would need plenty of strong backs if I was going to complete the Tribute.


'Shadow gamer' Alathimsal died today. I did not catch the details, but 'Holistic Detective' was seen in the area at the time. He says he did not do it, but it is quite suspicious nonetheless.

No matter - I have more important issues on my plate. I've run out of wood again and I need more to complete my monument. I drafted most of the jobless dwarves into the masonry team and kept working on the stone portion, hoping for a caravan to arrive with more lumber.


The nobles demanded a fortress guard, and after constant pestering I acquiesced to their demands. No sooner had I ordered the Guards' formation then three of my best workers - 'Manuel Calavera', 'Captain Awesome' and 'Robot Uprising' - were being dragged to the jail for who knows what.

I didn't even know we had a jail.


Someone constructed an artifact today, a granite cabinet.

It was yet another needless delay. Progress on the Tribute has slowed, despite the extra workers. Still no wood.


My prayers were answered! A human diplomat arrived, along with a caravan bearing enough wood to finish the parts I would need for the Tribute.

I seized the goods without delay, but the diplomat would not leave us alone. Eventually her motives became clear:

I had what I needed from them. War was the only answer. They would face the same fate as the hundreds of others who had tried in the past to wrest away Headshoots vast riches. They would die.

Well, after the Tribute was completed.


‘Ur Getting Fatter' was thrown in jail today for annoying the Countess. Apparently he was tap dancing on the floor directly above her room.

As part of his punishment, his feet were set on fire.

He did not survive.


The Tribute starts to take shape:

However, progress on the monument is not without its casualties. Our recently arrived Dungeon Master fell to his death after some scaffolding was removed from underneath him. Rumours that he was pushed by the Hammerer and an accomplice seem unfounded at this point.


A skeletal fire imp was distracting masons working on The Tribute. He was swiftly dealt with. I must complete it. I will work day and night, I will not sleep until it is complete. My family deserves to be remembered.

I did not keep a record of who killed the creature. Frankly, I do not care.


Another casualty. He apparently died of thirst after getting stuck whilst completing a wall. He will be remembered by the very Tribute he helped to create.

Another artifact. Some sort of gold opal chain. Completely unimportant. The Tribute is nearly complete!


Today is the day. Today I finally finish The Tribute. I am so excited I can barely breathe. I order the last pump to be put in place, and stand back to admire what I had created.

To quote 'Professor Bling', a great poet and songwriter who like many of Headshoots original inhabitants was lost to tragedy:

We be pouring out a forty
Of finest Dwarven Ale
To remember those who fought
so that Headshoots would not fail

You will be remembered.


My tenure is at an end. For those interested, I submit the plans of The Tribute for your perusal:

Archivist's note: For those readers who don't speak ASCII, here's a 3Dwarf render posted by Phrog: