The Let's Play Archive

Dwarf Fortress - Headshoots

by Various

Part 84

What follows happens in a second alternate timeline separate from the main succession game and the previous adventure mode attempts.

I am to be the greatest dwarf in existence. My name is Rimtar Hallwatch the Blanketed Elbows, and it is my quest to possess the greatest dwarven artifact in existence: Trailmachines: the Fellowship of Right, Adamantine Plate Mail, crafted by the legendary ProfessorBling. I visited the place once called Headshoots several years ago, and recovered from there a splendid adamantine blade and several pieces of iron armor crafted by ProfessorBling himself.

But the truly worthy equipment remains in the hands of the greatest survivor of that unholy place: HolisticDetective.

I have spent years of my life training in the discipline of wrestling, swordsdwarfship, and shielduse, and over 300 men and beasts have fallen by my hand. It was I who, at the bidding of a great demon, led a band of goblin scum into the depths to fight 3 ancient and powerful cyclops, emerging alone from that place with 3 single-eyed heads. It was I who faced down a truly mighty titan with only a blunt wooden sword taken from an unfortunate elf, and came away without a scratch. I have slain the undead in the ruins of Headshoots, destroyed whole towns of men and elves, and led a warband of humans into the teeming dark towers of the North.

Some Notable Kills:

Today I lead what remains of this warband, 2 spearmen, a swordsman, a maceman, an axeman, and 5 crossbowmen, to face down the greatest band of heroes this world has seen: The champions of Headshoots.

After weeks of searching, we finally come across the encampment where the former heroes of Headshoots languish.

One called Athletes Footnote foolishly leaves the safety of the masses and becomes our first victim. I hit him with the body of the titan a few times and our powerful swordsman finishes the job:

We head back to the main mass looking for champions to slay.

We find OrangesodaII, not a member of the militia but rather the former head of the guard. He carries a steel axe and charges us alone, perhaps oblivious to my might-

The Head Arrestsmith hacks at You in the upper body with his -Steel battle axe-!
It is cloven asunder!
You are propelled away by the force of the blow!
You slam into the Human Crossbowman!
You have been struck down.

Yes, OrangesodaII, the not-especially-notable but apparently vastly under-appreciated head of the guard destroyed me and my entire party including 5 crossbowmen without being touched even once. So falls Rimtar.

Battle Log for Masochists: Here