Part 103: Sirocco: Update 37
Sirocco's Year: Part Thirty-Seven
Tinny Turtler suddenly yelled and pointed at the bridge.
'Is that a BABY?!'
'Good God, it's Kaveman!'
Immediately we started pulling silly faces and dangling bits of string.
'Look at the pretty string, Kaveman! Come back to us now!'
'It's dangerous out there little guy! Turn round, there's a good girl! Who's a good girl? You're a good girl!'
But it was to no avail. The baby kept crawling along the bridge, searching for its mother no doubt.
'Maybe someone should go pick her up,' said Syntax! 'Uh... does anyone know how? I've never picked up a baby. Are you supposed to hold it by the head or what?'
There was a few minutes of heated discussion, but in the end it was apparent that no one there knew how to carry a baby.
'Hey now,' said Pumpinglemma. 'You need stone hauled or a bucket moved I'm your man, but a baby? Jeez, I wouldn't know where to start!'
Hopelessly, we watched the infant wander into the frozen wasteland.
'Oh! Oh! She's coming back! She's coming back!' said That Guy Bob excitedly. Immediately the military began cooing and singing to the baby again. Alius had found a teddy bear somewhere and was shaking it furiously.
'HOLY SHIT THERE'S A SPAWN BEHIND IT!' said Spermy Smurf.
tehsid raised his hammer. 'Chaaarge!'
'Wait!' I said. 'Look... it's headed the other way...'
tehsid lowered the hammer.
'Where the hell is it going?' he asked.
I squinted into the distance. 'I think I know,' I said at last.
'They've found one of Eiba's holes. I've blocked that one up inside but... they don't know that. They think they've found a way in.'
'Poor brainless fuckwits,' said tehsid, almost sympathetically.
Suddenly IMLemon, the famed furnace operator, came running into the gatehouse. 'Sirocco! Sirocco! Urgent news!'
'What is it?' I asked, a little worried by the dwarf's wide-eyed flustered appearance.
Wordlessly, he handed me a rough sketch on a piece of paper.