Part 157: Daeren: Update 20
I'm seriously starting to smell bullshit here. Bob must be handing favors out left and right to his old miner buddies.
The bells are ringing again. Instead of the screams of the damned, our invaders are heralded by the complaints of their tiny, tiny horses.
The scouts gave me the list of the invaders, all mounted on warhorses.
I showed the military the list. Teledahn...didn't take it so well. Though that could have been due to the sword jutting out of his throat.
I ordered the military out to the gatehouse to lie in wait. There's no way in but the gatehouse, anymore. Eiba's bullshit holes are all sealed.
(N.b.: Whenever tehsid's squad is activated, Screaming Idiot, pictured, goes to the golden road, wherever the squad designation is, and paces back and forth between these two squares. It's weird as fuck, and I can't figure it out.)
tehsid, That Guy Bob, Calaros, Kuffs, SpaceJung, and CountryMatters assemble. The recruits are scared out of their minds, but are comforted by the presence of two killing machines on their side.
Eiba stops me and rambles something about nickel silver being the 'kryptonite' for frost giants. I punch him in the face and move on.
A lone giant runs onto the bridge and is met by CountryMatters, whose mole quickly starts to go to work on the giant's enormous backside.
Remind me to never, ever piss off one of those moles. EVER.
CountryMatters gets out of the scuffle alive, but with a pulverized right hand. He retreats back into the fortress, out of comission.
The Queen of the Frost Giants herself rides up to the gatehouse, clad in the finest armor of her kingdom, followed by her elite royal guard. She proceeds to slaughter her some moles.
Remember this: while moles may be ferocious, they still can't withstand a ton and a half of muscle and steel landing on their face.
Kuffs suddenly gains the clarity of the true warrior...
and THROWS THE QUEEN'S HORSE OUT FROM UNDER HER.
While the military holds the Giants on the bridge, a few get through and wreak havoc in the gatehouse. tehsid soon puts a stop to their bullshit.
A cry of rage comes from below the bridges. I look.
That Guy Bob has gone berserk over the sudden deaths of kuffs and SpaceJung and is attacking an entire squad on his own. And winning.
Until tragedy strikes on the spikes of a mace.
That Guy Bob hurtles through the air and splatters on the side of the mountain.
It's all down to tehsid, and it don't look good, folks.
One of the last of the rookies bites it with his pet mole as the giants squeeze into the gatehouse, but tehsid slaughters each that attempt to pass him, the perfectly immovable object, smashing skulls and shattering limbs. He even crushes the torso of the Queen, knocking her into a forgotten pile of gore. (Seriously, this is some Viking at Stamford Bridge shit. He's not letting a single one into the gatehouse.)
But the waves of giants seem eternal.
Until tehsid charges from the gatehouse.
They panic and run, not willing to face the might of this divine champion, this avatar of Imketh, this...BADASS. Even the two remaining Chieftains flee in terror as tehsid breaks a few last legs for good measure. He even barfs on the dead Queen.
The gatehouse is in shambles. There's mole bits, dwarf chunks, and giant limbs strewn across the entire mountainside. We've lost almost all of what little military we had left.
But those motherfuckers didn't count on teh fucking sid.
Kennel wrote :-
The last mace lord Asithi Terrornamed (literally Terror Terrornamed) is their queen and born in year 1.
I just hope markus survives long enough to become a) adult or b) 30 years old child.
Screaming Idiot wrote :-
"Screaming Idiot! We need you!"
"WHAT? CAN'TCHA SEE I BE PACIN' 'ERE, LAD? BUGGER OFF!"
"We've been besieged!Frost giants--by Armok's bloody beard, there's dozens of 'em!"
The greasy pump operator whipped off his goggled cap and ran a dingy hand through sweaty, matted hair. "Lad, if ye be tryin' ta convince me ta go, then ye be doin' a poor job o' changin' me mind."
The other dwarf--Screaming Idiot couldn't recall his name--stared. "What are you, a cowa-"
"What kind of dwarf are you?" sneered the dwarf.
"Tha kind what doesn't wanna get smashed by giants what live in an' be made o' ice, lad." Screaming Idiot crossed his arms. "'Sides, tha last offical-type told me ta stay right 'ere in case anyone needed me an' I ain't a-budgin' 'till I get tha direct order ta move. It be byoor-ack-racy, y'see. Ah, if only ol' Skully was 'ere fer this, 'e'd be right proud o' me 'e would!"
"What? Don't you understand that the lot of us could die if you don't do something you stupid, selfish bastard?"
Screaming Idiot lit a cigar and puffed on it. "Sign it in triplicate! Make an appointment! Gotta do things by tha books, laddy!"
Kithrixx wrote :-
Date: *A bloodstain bas botched the ink and it is illegible.*
It’s late, very late. Had one of them night horrors. Somethin’ about giants and being born anew. I don’t know. Ma’s pillow is missin’. Too tired to deal with it now. I’ll get those bastards in the mornin’. But what gets me is the dream. It said I’d be born anew. I felt sober in that dream. It was horrible.
I wish I were at Syrupleaf already.
*A scrawling, spidery writing replaces the usual dwarven blocky lettering.*
Wish granted, dwarf.
I wasn't planning on Kith being a newborn. Looks like I misjudged how many migrants Syrupleaf would get.
Oh well, it'll make shit more interesting to write for a dorf-in-