Part 36: Jazzimus Prime: Update 9
Syrupleaf - Chapter V Part 9 - The Battle for the Fortress
From the main chamber, I look down the entrance hallway to survey the unfolding battle. Nearly sixty fellow dwarves stand behind me, holding mining picks, rocks, and whatever improvised weapons they are able to produce. Should our champions fall, it is here in the main chamber that the rest of us shall make our final stand.
As Holistic Detective and Royal W emerge from the corridor into the gatehouse, they are met immediately by three Spawn charging towards the corridor to the fortress interior.
Kennel emerges behind the other two champions and makes her way to the front gate where most of the creatures, including the Spawn Leader, are waiting.
Fighting like a dwarf possessed, Kennel quickly fells two of the Spawn with hammer strikes to the chest and smashes in the face of a third. The massive Spawn Leader, its head nearly reaching the ceiling of the great gatehouse, steps over the bodies of its minions to engage Kennel.
Holistic Detective strikes down one of the Spawn with his hammer. Royal W severs the leg of another and then decapitates the prone creature after it falls over. One more of the creatures stands between the two champions and Kennel. Royal W engages it, allowing Holistic Detective to charge forward to support his outnumbered and surrounded comrade, his wife Kennel.
As Holistic Detective crosses to the front of the gatehouse, the body of another Spawn is sent flying away from Kennel and into a wall. Five of the creatures, including the leader, still surround her.
The Spawn Leader strikes a terrible blow with the flat of its injured claw to Kennel's chest, breaking several ribs. She grunts in pain but remains standing, and retaliates with a powerful hammer strike to the Spawn Leader's leg.
Enraged, the Spawn Leader crushes Kennel's head with its healthy claw before Holistic Detective can arrive in support.
Two Champions remain. I can now clearly see that seven Spawn still remain standing to oppose them.
Royal W ducks his opponent's claw attack and counters with an axe blow that severs the creature's head cleanly. At the other end of the gatehouse, Holistic Detective stands to face the Spawn Leader.
The five remaining Spawn minions are gathered near the entry gate. I can see now that the minions have all been wounded to varying degrees from earlier in the battle. I do not know whether their wounds are the work of Kennel, Luigi's Discount, Lackloss, Fellblade, or another. The injured Spawn slowly shamble towards the remaining champions, but are clearly slowed by their wounds.
As the Spawn Leader lunges to bite at Holistic Detective with its terrifying maw, the champion lands a great blow to the side of its head with his hammer. Such a blow should at least slow the creature, but it does not. The leader smashes Holistic's shield arm with its damaged claw, breaking the bone.
The Spawn Leader lunges forward to bite again, and Holistic strikes it in the face with his hammer, smashing its maw and knocking out several jagged teeth. The Spawn Leader staggers backwards for the first time in the entire battle, but shakes off the blow and fights on.
Meanwhile, Royal W has engaged the five wounded Spawn. He severs the leg of one with his axe, and cleaves its skull with another axe strike after it falls over. He turns and strikes another of the wounded creatures squarely in the chest, the force of the impact sending its body flying against the gatehouse wall.
Holistic Detective swings a mighty hammer strike at the Spawn Leader, but the huge creature, moving with unnatural speed, somehow avoids the blow. Before the champion can recover from his miss, his opponent's claw snaps around his neck, severing his head.
Royal W assesses the situation. Only the Spawn Leader and two of its minions remain. The champion severs both of the legs of the nearest wounded minion, then decapitates the prone creature. The other remaining minion drags itself across the gatehouse floor with its claws, crawling towards Royal W, both of its legs having been mangled by hammer strikes earlier in the battle. It does not present a threat.
Royal W turns to face the Spawn Leader.
The Leader lunges at the champion. Royal W deftly steps aside and counters, burying his axe in the creature's left leg. It is a blow that would have easily severed the limb of any lesser enemy, but the Spawn Leader continues to stand. It swings at the dwarf with its injured claw, knocking the shield from Royal W's left hand.
As the Spawn Leader opens its massive right claw to attack the champion's head, Royal W says a quick prayer to Armok, and gathers all of his dwarven strength.
With both hands, he swings his axe as hard as he can, and strikes the creature squarely in the lower body.
The Spawn Leader staggers backwards. Unable to put weight on its injured leg, it finally stumbles to the ground.
As the creature shakes off the blow and attempts to get to its feet again, it looks up to see Royal W, his axe held high.
The dwarven champion smashes the blade of his axe into the prone Spawn Leader's forehead.
And does it again.
And again. And several more times, for good measure.
The Spawn Leader finally stops moving.
Almost as an afterthought, our champion administers a coup de grace on the last of the crippled Spawn minions in the gatehouse, then walks over to the Spawn Leader's body.
He proceeds to chop off the ruined head of the massive creature with his axe, as I order the drawbridge to the trade depot lowered. As the front gate opens, the only surviving Champion of Syrupleaf carries the Spawn Leader's gigantic head with him out of the front of the gatehouse.
Over two dozen Spawn are standing outside beneath the trade depot. They all look up and see Royal W standing on the bridge above them, holding his prize aloft with both hands.
At the sight of this, the remaining Spawn silently turn and slowly walk away from the fortress.
The siege is lifted.
Val Helmethead wrote :-
Year 142 - The Mountainhome
Already the rumors had reached the capital, though no one was certain how. The tales told of all the merchants dying, but dwarves had not been ones to let facts get in the way of a good story. At any rate, the royals had not weighed in on the theological implications yet, but already the old statues were being re-set up in honor of St. Nemo, the only dwarf to wound in battle the demon Holistic Detective.
Statues with a new additional engraving.
Upon the adamantian statue there is an engraving. The workdwarfship is of the highest quality. On the engraving there is an imagage of "Royal W" - Avatar of St. Nemo, Okhad Spearmenace and Holistic Spawn. "Royal W" is laughing. Okhad Spearmenace is bleeding. The Holistic Spawn are making a plantive guesture. This image commemorates the realization of "Royal W" as the Avatar of St. Nemo in the year 142.
Screaming Idiot wrote :-
FROM THE WRITIN'S O' PUMP OPERATOR SCREAMIN' IDIOT, OPERATOR OF PUMPS
Entry 67: FUCKFUCKFUCK THEY BE INSIDE
oh armok i can fukken ear em theys gettin closer im a pump operator i dont deserve ta die like this oh armok sweet armok please deliver your faithful ones from the claws of those who chose to oppose yer shield please oh armok make em yield
(The rest of the entry is smudged beyond recognition with tears, saliva, pump grease, and spilled booze.)
Screaming Idiot wrote :-
Technical Analysis posted:
We should build a Dwarfen cannon as memorial to all the soldiers who died fighting the Unholy Spawn.
How would one go about making a cannon?
SO YEH WANNA BUILD A DWARVEN CANNON: SCREAMIN' IDIOT'S GUIDE TO CANNONRY
Step 1: BUILD HIGH-PRESSURE PUMP
Step 2: Load unsuspectin' dwarf into pump
Step 3: TURN ON THA PUMP FULL BLAST AN' WATCH 'IM FLY
Step 4: Comfort grievin' family, clean chunky dwarfy residue from pump, repeat steps 2 through 4 as necessary
Sirocco wrote :-
The Journal of Sirocco: FOURTH ENTRY
That was some tense stuff!!! We could hear all sorts of screaming and... gristly noises coming from the gatehouse but we stood firm and I even got to hold a SWORD (no, it was actually my chisel, ha ha ha!). Everyone was really scared because we didn't know if the spawn were going to break through so I encouraged everyone to have a singalong of 'The Wheels of the Wagon go Round' to keep everyone chipper! But no one joined in so I just sang it myself for a while.
And then Royal W came back! Covered in blood and carrying the head of the Holistic Detective himself!!! No, not THAT Holistic Detective, diary!!! He died in the battle, it's very sad. Royal W looked a little dazed by the fight so I decided to start a rousing chorus of 'For He's A Jolly Good Fellow' and no one joined in AGAIN! WHY WON'T THEY SING WITH ME, DIARY?! HUH?! They must be jealous of my falsetto. So I sang it by myself while everyone stared at me in solemn respect. I think it was respect?
Oh well!!! I've just remembered, I've got some coffins to build! It might have to wait until they find Holistic Detective's head though - no!!! Not THAT Holistic Detective!!! The dwarf one! You're such a silly goose sometimes, diary!
I'd better get going! Lots of work to do!
Bye diary!!! Hope you miss me!