The Let's Play Archive

Dwarf Fortress - Syrupleaf

by Various

Part 58: Silento Boborachi: Update 8

Page 8

10th Limestone, 144, Early Autumn

The investigation board finally allowed me to return to work. They could have just avoided all this hassle in the first place had they informed me in advance that "S" was also a prototype user for the Advanced Lifeform Integrated Combat Enhancer. I would have never let such important and expensive property out so far from the fortress! As it is, retrieval is impossible as the whole area has been covered by fresh snow, and no signs of the ambush are visible.

Traders have arrived from the Mountainhomes!

I've ordered four squads to start patrolling the area, due to the importance of the last caravan in the convoy. I simply can't wait until the package from our installation in Armay Arasay arrives! After all, having a hammer and no nails to hit makes the hammer pretty useless.

Goldjas, out picking up litter on the glacier, is sand raidered. 2 spearmen, 2 wrestlers, and one axeman leap from the heights. Luckily, squads are nearby, I send them all in to decimate the raiders and hopefully save Goldjas. Few survive an ambush, and the more details we can get from survivors on sand raider tactics, the better we can predict what their essences will imbue.

Goldjas runs for the fortress, and the champions running toward him, and starts making some headway. However, a sand raider throws a snowball at the back of Goldjas's head, stunning him and making him nauseous.

One of the wrestlers tries to grab his right hand, while the axeman goes for his shoulder.Goldjas is bruised, but runs still. The wrestler leaps and tackles him.

The raiders quickly surround him. The axeman sinks his axe into Goldjas's upper left leg . A spearman pierces his liver, as a wrestler rips off his right hand. The other spearman spares Goldjas any further pain by plunging his spear through Goldjas's skull.

Syntax! leaps onto the scene mere seconds after Goldjas is skewered. The two wrestlers close in, and one reaches to grab Syntax! with its right hand. Syntax! takes said hand and breaks it, then rips it clean off. Its screams can be heard inside the fortress.

The other wrestler reaches out with its left arm, and déjà vu, quickly has it separated from its body. The first wrestler kicks, only to have Syntax! grab its leg and bury his steel battle axe into its flesh, shearing the leg from its owner, and on his next swing slices a good portion of the sand raider's left arm off, including some of its shoulder. Unconscious at this point, the sand torso+left leg collapses.

Turning to the other wrestler, Syntax! breaks its other arm, rendering it unconscious. The axeman reaches the battle and swings, and a better quality axe than a sand raider could ever hope to wield gets buried in the axeman's upper left leg. Deciding to practice his battlefield medicine, Syntax! checks on the sand raider's appendix, and generally makes a mess of the sand raider's digestive tract. It lies on the ice, watching its intestines get twirled around the battle axe and then slapped onto the unconscious torso of the wrestler, causing the wrestler's body to explode under the force.

A spearman charges in and stabs, Syntax! dodges and plunges his axe into the raider's left arm. The other wrestler gains consciousness and tries to help the spearman, but Syntax! ignores them because crawling away, is the axeman. Syntax! decides to finish off the operation with some brain surgery.

The wrestler tries to feebly grab using only its right arm, cradling the wounded left arm. Syntax! chops the arm off, and kicks the armless raider over, unconscious. The spearman starts to flee, so Syntax! throws his axe into the spearman's leg, and stomps down on the wrestler's chest cavity. Then, he retrieves his axe and hacks through the spearman.

The other spearman ran back and hid at the ambush point, trying not to be seen. Syntax! is not amused.

(the blue where the raider is (the brown ^) is one level above)

Knowing it has been spotted, the spearman lets loose a battle cry and leaps down with its spear pointed right at Syntax!'s heart. Syntax! merely steps aside and swings his axe up, impaling the raider on the axe's edge.

To the south, other raiders spring up, discovered by Led Astilrom, the pet horse of the late, great, Sarcose. It was prone to wander the glacier, whinning for its lost master.

It takes revenge by trampling a wrestler. The raiders quickly recover and bring it down.

Alius and Firos engage, and quickly begin annihilating the raiders, but it seems baby Inneedofspellcheck's foot is cut off!

A raider snatches the baby, and flings it into the hills, Inneedofspellcheck is killed instantly.

The raiders die to crossbow bolt and hammer. Firos spares them no moment of mercy. I began to turn away from the slaughter as a bloodcurdling scream is emitted near the depot. It seems a sand raider thief found a weapon trap.

bobthethurd approaches and lets me know he's bought the entire caravan's stock for some of our rock crafts. I keep the military out, to stand guard for peasants retrieving equipment and to see just how long their stoic demeanor can last on duty, especially Firos.

With all the slaughter, it is of no surprise that we attract no migrants.

Time to get a drink, and open up the package.

Sirocco wrote :-

I present the full version of Sirocco's dating agency pic. I cropped it for narrative reasons, but here it is in its full glory!

Fake edit: holy moley, Skullbuggy I love that picture!

Chance II wrote :-

Oh my I hadn't realized how much the thread had grown. Well get yer big boy pants because here is a quick pic of Syntax! and his necklace of Sand Raider hands.

My real project should be finished up by tommorrow and posted after Bobarachi's final update. And great work geri_kahn, now I don't have to go hunting to figure out which journal entry/month I'm on!

Skullbuggy wrote :-

Okay just posting this real quick-like:

It's everybody's most depressing manager! (It is actually my dwarf by the way)

Skullbuggy wrote :-

Because I've got nothing better to do.


Entry - 9 Limestone, Seventh Year

Last night, it occurred to me that Mayor Uzmeng is in dire need of a drink. I saw him ambling about last night, sober to near the point of insanity. He was swearing, yelling, and whatnot. According to my stockkeeping (and mind you, I have very good attention to detail), Mayor Uzmeng hasn't had a drink in about a wee

"Get yer hands off me!"

Skullbuggy rose from his seat, dropping his quill and knocking over his inkwell. A blotch of bluish-black mess spilled all over his nice coat, though that wasn't really on Skullbuggy's mind at the time.

Skullbuggy ran out into the corridor and heard more screaming coming from the Mayor's office. He approached the door, opened it a crack, and was shocked to see what was inside...

"Get yer fucking hands off of me, you maniacs!"

Inside the Mayor's office (now wrecked, in what Skullbuggy believed was a sober rampage) stood Bobthethurd, being restrained by Alius and Firos, both with a look of embarrassment on their faces. In front of the three was a rather tall dwarf with dark spectacles and a rather short beard.

Bobthethurd tried wrestling his way out of the hands of the two guards, froth at the corners of his mouth like a mad dog. "I said, get yer fucking hands off of me, before I cut 'em off!"

"Please, Mayor Uzmeng," said the tall dwarf, "if you would cooperate, this would go much smoother."

"You! You!" Bobthethurd screamed. "You stay right where you are, so I can bash yer head right in!"

"Mayor, stop it!" said Firos.

"I'm not talking to you," said Bobthethurd, "you bitch!"

Skullbuggy winced.

The tall dwarf chuckled. "... Oh, I'm sorry, I don't, er, find this funny." The tall dwarf readjusted his spectacles. "I just, er..." The tall dwarf cleared his throat. "Guards, please escort Mayor Uzmeng to the jail. He's become a nuisance."

Alius nodded. He and Firos started to drag the deposed mayor out of the room. Skullbuggy, outside, stepped aside to let the mayor be escorted out. As he passed, Bobthethurd looked at Skullbuggy.

"You... do you trust him?"

"I'm-" Skullbuggy started, puzzled. "I'm sorry?"

"Do you trust that dwarf?"

"Come on now, mayor," said Alius. "Let's not stall the inevitable."

"I bet you don't even know what that word means," said Bobthethurd as his head went heavy. He sighed and relaxed his body, and the guards dragged him to the jail relatively easily from then on out.

Skullbuggy turned back to look through the door and saw the tall dwarf standing there still. He was writing something down, but...

The tall dwarf turned to face Skullbuggy. "Can I help you?"

Skullbuggy fled as fast as he could.


"Look, I'm nae supposed to let ye in," said Screaming Idiot. "Ye know that as well as I."

Skullbuggy sighed. "Look, I'm the village manager," he said, "and I should at least get a chance to talk with the man."

"Well, it's nae my rules, ye ken that well..." Screaming Idiot stepped aside. "But I might as well let ye speak with 'im. No harm in that."

Skullbuggy walked up to the steel bars of the jail and looked into the cell. Mayor Bobthethurd was chained up like a dog, and was whimpering like one as well. A full mug of ale rested on the ground in front of him.

"Mayor, why aren't you drinking?" Skullbuggy asked, horrified at how sober his friend was.

"What's the point?" Bobthethurd groaned.

Screaming Idiot turned to Skullbuggy, looking rather worried. "I left that ale for 'im. It's been sittin' there since sunrise."

"Look, Mayor..." Skullbuggy didn't know exactly what he wanted to say to the sad sight in front of him. "Mayor, I'll bring the issue up with the Overseer. Perhaps he'll be kind to you... first offense, right?"

"I don't know if I'll ever get out," moaned Bobthethurd. "I did a bad thing today."

"Tried to smush 'im with a boulder," said Screaming Idiot. "Nasty, innit?"

Skullbuggy shuddered. "Bob... I'm surprised, really. I didn't think you were so violent!"

"I'm..." Bobthethurd started to shake. "I'm afraid of the Overseer, okay? He's just not... natural! He's a goddamned monster, methinks!"

"Sober as an elf, this one," said Screaming Idiot. He shook his head disapprovingly.

"That's why I want to get rid of him!" Bobthethurd's fists were clenched tightly, knuckles white. "He's a bad omen, and Armok only know that  THEY 're involved!"

"Don't talk about  THEM  so loud!" Skullbuggy whispered.

"Look, I'm just sayin' what I think, okay?" Bobthethurd said. "I don't want him in my village!"

The door opened rather quietly.

"He's bad news, and I want him out, dead or alive!" Bobthethurd screamed. "If I can't do it, somebody better!"


The three dwarves turned to see the Overseer standing at the end of the hall.

"Hello, all!" he said, rather cheerfully.

"Overseer!" Skullbuggy said, surprised.

Screaming Idiot gulped.

"Mayor, may I speak with you?" the Overseer said, walking toward Bobthethurd's cell. "The others may stay! There's no problem." The Overseer smiled and turned to face Bobthethurd. "Mayor Uzmeng, do you know why you are here?"

"I tried to kill you." Bobthethurd sneered at the Overseer.

"No, no, no..." The Overseer chuckled. "It was a simple misunderstanding, Mayor! You were just hauling while sober, correct?"

"Well, technically, he weren't hauling," said Screaming Idiot.

"At least, that's what it looked like, correct?" the Overseer said. "Either way, it was just the fault of sobriety; no more, no less."

Skullbuggy raised an eyebrow, curious.

"What I'm trying to say, dear Mayor," said the Overseer, "is that you're free to go."

"Excuse me?" Bobthethurd said. If he had ale in his mouth, he'd spit it out.

"It's no problem," said the Overseer. "A simple misunderstanding!"

The Overseer produced a key from seemingly nowhere and unlocked the cell. Screaming Idiot unlocked the shackles holding Bobthethurd back. Skullbuggy walked into the jail cell and handed Bobthethurd his ale. There were flies in it, but Bobthethurd downed the whole mug.

"It would be best for you to return to your posts, all of you," said the Overseer.

"V-very well, sir," said Skullbuggy, uneasily.

"Whatever ye say," said Screaming Idiot.

Bobthethurd remained silent.

"Have a nice day!" said the Overseer cheerfully, and walked out of the room.