Part 69: Sirocco: Update 4
Sirocco's Year: Part Four
Wow, this overseeing stuff is really difficult! I've lived in this fortress for nearly a decade now and I still don't know where everything is, ha ha ha! Anyway, where's that list... ah ha! Here it is. I had to get the miners to dig out some rooms for the nobles! But there were some discrepancies in the records I simply couldn't ignore (I'm a good dwarf) so I went to visit the mayor to clear some stuff up.
I found him by one of the stills (he's a predictable old mayor, bless him!) and approached him.
'Mr Mayor! Mr Mayor!'
Bobthethurd turned round and eyed me blearily. 'Whaddaya want you little pipshqueak?' he slurred.
'Well, I'm trying to build you a dining room like you wanted and I thought you'd want me to put it next to your office but I can't find it anywhere.'
Bobthethurd giggled, fell silent for a moment, forgot who I was, then giggled again. Then he winked.
'Heh heh heh... follow me, sonny, follow me.'
After about four hours of circling the fortress, Bobthethurd eventually walked me towards a small rock door.
'Here we are. Me office. Wipe your feet afore you enter or I'll have your knees for paperweights.'
He bustled me through and then closed the door behind us.
'Are... are you sure this is your office?'
'Aye! What's wrong with it, eh? Eh?'
'Nothing, nothing it's just...'
'What?! What?! Speak up, idiot!'
'... It's the main dining room.'
'Nonsense! This is my office! Do you think I'm a liar, huh, is that it, boy? This chair right here is my personal THRONE you sad fool.'
I made my excuses and left so I could check the records again - I think a previous overseer tricked poor Bobthethurd and told him the dining room was his office so they wouldn't have to build him one! Well, we can't have that! I also discovered similar shenanigans were afoot with the rooms of Phrederick, 64bitrobot, and - worst of all! - Queen Sankis herself!!!
I called Rixaxun and Sewermancer to my office immediately so we could start designing the new rooms.
Rixaxun entered my office first. He's quite the most dwarfly dwarf you ever did see, journal! Steely eyes, a firm posture, and a beard three times as long as he is.
Don't tell anyone, journal, but... he's my hero (tee hee!).
'What do you want, Sirocco?' he said sitting down, carefully leaning his pick against the wall and stroking his enormous beard. Imposing.
'I need you to dig out some rooms for the nobles.' I was struggling to contain my excitement - I've always fancied myself as an interior designer.
'Rooms for the nobs, pah ha ha ha ha haaaaa!' the dwarf roared. I'm not sure I got the joke, but I laughed along anyway.
'That is sooooo funny!' I said.
A voice echoed through the hall
'Oi, Rixie, wait up! What's the tosser want anyway-'
Sewermancer peeped through the door.
'Oh, Sirocco, you're here already.'
A short silence.
'You're a tosser,' Sewermancer said.
'That's insubordination, Mr Sewermancer!' I said, standing up. 'I'll have your pickaxe for this!'
'Hey, easy pal,' he said backing away.
'I was only joking, ha ha ha!' I said sitting down with a cheery smile, letting him know we were equals. I felt so important!!!
'So, where do you want these rooms and how big do you want them?' Raxixun said, using his pick to extract a congealed ball of snot from his nose (so dwarfly!) and staring at me with those steely grey eyes of his...
'Uh... where do you think would be best?' I asked. I didn't realise I'd have to do so much!
Rixaxun and Sewermancer exchanged a glance and Rixaxun even rolled his eyes!
'Wait, wait, wait, I've got it,' I said hastily. I drew up a quick sketch:
'What do you think?' I asked, pushing it across the desk.
'I'll let you know when I'm done. And- this office stinks of... somethin'.'
'It's pot pourri,' said Sewermancer.
'Poppery?! What is this moleshit?' Rixaxun asked. 'Never mind, I don't care. Let's go, Sewer.'
The beard trailing behind passed through my office door like a beautiful golden river of... beard. It was pretty.
I've got some plans drawn up for Queen Sankis' new quarters too - I've made them REALLY big just in case.
That's the throne room, dining room and quarters laid out! All that's left is the mausoleum now...
I always thought tombs were a little sombre. Queen Sankis deserves better!!!
I hope Rixaxun will be proud of me.